tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417527629484206693.post8339848026091943153..comments2024-03-07T09:11:19.920-07:00Comments on 78 Whispers In My Ear: Daily Draw - Two of Cups, Princess of CupsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417527629484206693.post-81202615260841564452010-03-17T22:27:42.671-06:002010-03-17T22:27:42.671-06:00Thank you, Anonymous, for taking the time to read ...Thank you, Anonymous, for taking the time to read and to share your words, and congratulations on your happy, and long-lived, marriage! It warms my heart to hear such obvious love in your words.<br /><br />I have been married before, and it was good, and it was bad, and it was messy, and it blew up all over at least five peoples' lives. Some of what I am writing about today is the need to heal of that completely, and to let it go, so that I can do things not necessarily "right" next time, but at least with the best possible foundation.<br /><br />You have made a good point about the nature of give and take, risk vs. reward in love relationships. I am just trying to, as my fortune cookie reminded me yesterday, to live in my imagination, to dwell in possibility, and not in my memory.<br /><br />Thank you again! Brightest blessings to you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09502811012649776468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417527629484206693.post-63141104651299894712010-03-17T13:10:15.506-06:002010-03-17T13:10:15.506-06:00It saddens me when I read someone saying they'...It saddens me when I read someone saying they're disenchanted with the idea of marriage. I don't proselytize, so I don't mention this to anyone unless it's something they want to discuss. "I also can't deny that part of me longs for the unity, and security, of being married, of utterly belonging to another human and having them belong to me . . . " seems to invite some discussion so I'll just say a few things. I didn't marry until I was 40. I wasn't interested in making a big, messy mistake, and I could have made quite a few of them. <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 17 years, and he does indeed belong to me, as I do to him. We make each other better than and more than we ever could be alone. Just as with anything that you choose, you give up something. You gave up the freedom of being childless when you had your children. In our case, the thing we gave up (the complete freedom of being single and accountable to no one) didn't feel like a sacrifice because we gained something of far greater value. <br /><br />When people have kids, they realize there will be sacrifices. They WILL be, in a very real sense, bound and constricted in many ways. They don't mind, because they feel they're gaining something that matters more. I'm not sure why people have come to believe that in marriage, unlike in other relationships, there should never be loss or compromise. But it's the nature of relationships between humans to have some give and take, some gains and some losses. For people who love each other enough to accept that, the gains grow exponentially as time passes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com