78 Whispers In My Ear

Daily Draw - Knight of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, Death (I think...)

2012-01-09T20:57:00.001-07:00

Universal Fantasy Tarot- Knight of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, Death

This week I am using the lovely Universal Fantasy Tarot by Paolo Martinelli, published by Lo Scarabeo, and available wherever you normally purchase decks. This one came from Isis here in Denver (but they ship anywhere), courtesy of a generous gift cards from some friends. The dentist has been chomping away at all my discretionary, and not so discretionary, funds these past few months, between me with my rotten luck (but not rotten themselves, knock on wood) teeth, and children who have learned the hard way what happens when brushing and the dentist are not frequent occurrences in one's life, so that gift card was more of a blessing than I think the friends could have known it would be. I actually had most of what they had to offer, which is shameful on my part, not theirs as Isis really has an excellent selection of all things metaphysical, and a beautiful space besides, but I am such an obsessive collector. I did find two decks to add, and decided I'd always wanted to trim a copy of this beauty, the better to use as more of an oracle and to prompt writing exercises, so here we are, me writing a post where I am really just making a best guess as to what the cards actually are. The borders of this deck are really quite unobtrusive, being black with small lettering, but the colors simply sing to me without their confinement, as well as losing the stricture of the words telling me which card is what, and therefore means whatever.

Because my blogging buddy Chloe at Inner Whispers is so wise and often right, I have decided to make sure I ask good questions to go along with my Daily Draws. For a long time, it worked just fine for me to pull cards and write what I saw, but lately my life seems to be brimming with assholes, a fact I cannot do much about since these are the permanent fixture ones, and since I do not want to subjected to continued assholery, I assume most of my readers would rather pass it up as well, so no more baby mama drama from this front, whether I am the mama in question, or someone else.

My question of my brand spanking new, newly trimmed Universal Fantasy Tarot was- "What can I expect of our working relationship as I use this deck for readings and for writing ideas?"

The first card, the presumed Knight of Swords, who in this deck is, charmingly enough, a female bloke, is rushing headlong, sword drawn, into the fray. That is kind of what I did with this deck,dove right in, scissors in hand, shaping it to my particular wants and desires. She even kinda looks like me, on a good hair day. The Ace of Pentacles features a fancy flying contraption, and the people look to either side, facing the outer cards. Our working relationship will be fertile, with that Ace acting as the crux of the matter, the most important seed, as well as a fulcrum, balancing out the hasty headlong nature of the Knight to the left and the contemplative nature of moody Death to the right. The Death card really is dramatic, but he is a Scorpio so he can't help himself. I think this means the relationship with this deck will really help me put to rest some of the problems I have in my writing, namely: butt-in-chair-get-it-done-no-excuses, but that Knight with her Sword waving around like so many ideas that can be difficult to trap and the full-of-promise Ace really paint a picture of a great potential, and Death to the right reinforces that idea, reminding me that we choose to feed and nurture is what grows. I imagine the dark angel whispering to the fellow laying on the ground, "I can grant you one more chance here on earth, but you mustn't fritter it away." I can be like that prone fellow, thinking I have forever to write, really all day as my house clears out by eight every morning, and the day looms before me, seemingly long and full of promise, but that promise is quickly eaten up by a quick run to the grocery store, just one episode of Teen Mom 2, "research" on the internet, and then it is time to collect moppets, to get a hot meal in front of my beloveds, and I have but a paragraph to show for my day. I think Death is there to remind me that time is temporal, and I need to manage mine, not letting the Knight lead me off into the unknowns of this world, but delve into the unknown of imagination as I lay my stories to paper, harnessing the energy of the Ace of Pentacles and the transformative process of Death.

Universal Fantasy Tarot- Four of Wands

The shadow card of the reading is (presumably) the Four of Wands. I think this card illustrates one of the reasons I love to write, and that is because stories can take you to a place you would have never been on your own, because some of them only existed in the teller's mind before they sprang to life on paper. A great story can make your home wherever you may roam, like this one on stilts. Lovers of books are always satisfied when they have one near, and little can distract them from that happiness. And most of all, when you read a really great story, it touches you in a way only that story ever could have, and you are forever changed by it.

My particular make up requires routine and stability, and the Four of Wands is passion stabilized. When I manage to get my passion for writing in a stable routine, I will be successful with it. If I go straight to the core meaning of this card, I understand the message perfectly.

Do any of you use tarot in your writing, either fiction or non? Do you have a favorite story telling deck? If this deck gets me over the hump, will I owe royalties, should I be so lucky to make any money, to the publishers?

These images are from Universal Fantasy Tarot by Paolo Martinello for Lo Scarabeo.

Deck Review - Crystal Visions Tarot

2011-12-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

Crystal Visions Tarot- Nine of Wands

The Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso and published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc is a lush new deck inhabited by angels, fairies, dragons, unicorns, and all sorts of fanciful creatures. Even so, it is a great working deck for people who are drawn to those types of images, and anyone who loves twilight colors.

I recently used the deck in my Daily Draws, which you can find here, and for an intense tarot class given locally, Journey to the Ultimate Boon, by Joy Vernon, which really is the best praise I can give a deck. Using it in the class required a commitment to the deck, and it's not just any deck I want to tell me about my personal issues and deep shadow things.

Crystal Visions Tarot- The Unknown Card

The Major Arcana are traditionally named, with Strength at trump VIII and Justice XI. The four suits are named Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles, with court cards assigned traditionally to Page, Knight, Queen, King. The cards are glossy and sturdy, as it appears U.S. Games has returned to publishing in Italy with a shiny lamination. The cards are approximately 2.75" x 4.75", easily shuffled, and packaged in a tuckbox with a Little White Book written by the artist. The Major Arcana feature an extra card, labelled The Unknown Card, which represents the things that we cannot yet know. It did not appear for me in my readings, and I think that is likely because I often see the High Priestess as the guardian of deep secrets. If it does appear for me I will have to give some thought to how the cards differ and how they are alike so I can make a distinction, but the deck seemed to realize I was not ready to deal with the card, so it never came up.

The images largely follow Waite Smith interpretations of the cards, with some twists, and there are plenty of places in the imagery to assign your own meanings and symbolism to the cards. The colors are rich and deep, and if flying creatures speak to you there is much for this deck to say. My particular favorite suit is the snowy Swords. I think this deck would be great for lovers of fantasy, and the cards are likely suitable for all ages, with no nudity or gratuitous violence. They would probably be good cards to read for people who are new to tarot or nervous about getting a reading. Tarot is a visual language, and when we find the ones that speak to us we know we are on the right track.

Here are several images from Crystal Visions Tarot, which is available wherever you usually purchase your decks. Enjoy!

Crystal Visions Tarot


Crystal Visions Tarot

Crystal Visions Tarot

These cards are from Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso and published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - Empress, Two of Wands, King of Swords

2011-12-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

Universal Transparent Tarot

This week brings the Universal Transparent Tarot from Lo Scarabeo publishers. For me, this deck can't be used without acknowledging that Emily Carding's fantastic Transparent Tarot and later Transparent Oracle, published by Schiffer Books, were the first, innovative decks to use the concept of clear cards with images that could be layered. These decks are simply astounding in use, but I am eager to try some more traditional images as they come together in composite pictures.

Today, I have the nurturing Empress, the mother in the tarot deck, and mother is probably my most important role today. The kidkins are officially on winter break and I have a house full today! I think the stern King of Swords on the bottom represents the dentist we will be seeing today. Although I find him to be a kindly man, and gentle, too, at least one of the kids is terrified of the dentist and is likely to see him as an opposing figure. I think that child is represented by the dark haired figure in the Two of Wands, with the tooth being held in his hands as he examines it. Unfortunately, the terrified child seems to have a tooth that has gone bad, and that is always a scary place to be. The good news I am trying to get him to focus on is that it seems to be a baby tooth, so if it has to go another, healthy tooth should soon appear. Gladly, it does not seem to be causing him pain at the moment, but I think the fear of pain is a great motivator to him to not be in this position again. With the child figure placed between the opposing energies of the soft Empress and the harder King of Swords, I think we can see that he needs both the healthy fear of losing a tooth or going through pain and gentle, consistent reminders to properly care for his teeth. Some kids only need one, but this child probably needs both, and part of the trick of parenting is figuring out what each individual responds to, and as I take part in raising five individual people I have come to understand that no one thing works for all kids, or for any child throughout their growth. It's constantly changing, and being a mom requires creativity and willingness to go with the flow, which is probably partly how we come to associate the Empress with creative projects.

Happily, I do not see any tears or pain, and I do think the cards are positive, and point to an experience that will not be as bad as anyone fears. The Two of Wands gives me the feeling that we will go forth into a new era, one where this child cares for his teeth better and gets his regular check ups without further incident. And if he doe snot choose to willingly, there I will be, brandishing brush and floss and gently reminding until it becomes a habit.

These cards are from Universal Transparent Tarot by Roberto De Angelis for Lo Scarabeo.

Book Review - Easy Tarot Reading (And A Contest!)

2011-12-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

Easy Tarot Reading by Josephine Ellershaw certainly lives up to the promise of the front cover: The Process Revealed In Ten True Readings.

There are many great books for beginning tarot readers, one of which has been written by Josephine Ellershaw and is packaged with the gorgeous Gilded Tarot by Ciro Marchetti, but there are many fewer for intermediate to advanced readers. I feel this is likely because like Othello and the guitar, tarot is quite easy to pick up, satisfying to do so from Day One, but takes a lifetime to master. Everyone learns differently, and the myriad books on the market offer great starts, but very few books cover what happens after you know what the Four of Cups means to you. This book begins to fill that gap quite neatly.

The author writes from the perspective of a working tarot professional, and professional she is as she takes us step by step through readings with her clients (all of whom knew they were going to be included as case studies in this book). It is actually not that difficult to learn some meanings for seventy eight tarot cards, in my experience, but the magic lies in learning to combine them into a reading that paints a story. Josephine Ellershaw shows how to take the multiple cards of her particularly used spreads and weave them into a story to which the sitter can relate, and that is a truly wise thing.

The spreads the author uses are large, but she breaks them down into small groupings so that they are easily strung together into a relevant story, and while she makes it look deceptively simple as a long time reader I can assure you it is not always. Even so, by following her sage and easily read advice, anyone can learn to make their readings flow as well. As someone who mentors new readers and teaches tarot, I feel as frustrated as my students do when they come to me with large spreads that are not clearly labelled and separated, but that is not an issue with these spreads at all. If I had learned nothing else from this book, the price would have been justified in learning these spreads alone, as within them is a potential mine of information for the reader to relay to the client.

My one complaint with the book is that there are no pictures to illustrate the spreads given, only diagrams, as tarot is a visual art, with the pictures on the cards being cues to the reader and jogs for the sitters' mind, but once I took the author's advice to lay out my own cards to reflect the reading I was studying with her, everything became quite clear. By the time I had gotten through a couple of her readings, I actually saw using my own cards as a positive feature because my own speak to me, just as yours should speak to you.

Josephine Ellershaw has written a tarot book worthy to grace every readers' shelf, and has done so with grace, wit, and honesty. She offers excellent advice that pertains to both the art and business side of tarot reading, for students of any level. You won't find a list of what she thinks each card means, since the book assumes the reader to have a working knowledge of their cards, but you will find new and deceptively simple ways to read for yourself and others in this book. I give it glowing praise!

I take tarot reading seriously, as a deep pleasure, and I do not endorse books or decks I find less than brilliant. Because I think this book is so great and I believe all my tarot reading buddies could probably benefit from it, I am offering a free book to the winner of the contest. To enter, just leave a comment on this post. I'll draw a winner on Monday, January 2, 2012. Good luck!

Update: Congratulations to Josephine Robin Dalton, who wins a copy of this great book, also by a Josephine. Please contact me with your address so I can get the book on its' way to you, and big thanks and hugs to everyone for stopping by!

Daily Draw- Judgment, Five of Swords, Empress

2011-12-07T20:20:00.001-07:00

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Judgement, Five of Swords, The Empress

Today I am using a spread I have often used called Thorhammer's Daily Spread, which was crafted by someone I knew on a forum, a lovely Australian lady named Kat. The positions are "What I Did Well Today", "What to Leave Behind From Today" and "What to Carry Forward From Today".

What I did well today- Judgment: Generally speaking, Judgment is a card that urges me to spiritual self care, to listening to the call I am hearing, so that I am not left behind as others move forward. That is a kind of generic meaning for that card, for me. This one features a lightning bolt bearing god and a more distant angel, supplicants offering what they may have, and one soul turning away, choosing to remain a dessicated corpse. It's a heavy card, deep with meaning. Today, I made a vat of chili, wrote a little, and laid about, resting up from some sleepless nights and the rock concert last night. In that way, I cared for myself, gave myself a respite I really needed, so I followed the meaning of the card I have, but the imagery of this card is not necessarily restful or of a calling nature. I did not have any great epiphanies, except to not rub one's eyes immediately after dicing jalapenos, so I struggled a bit for the meaning of this card for me today.

I think today, this card is more about forgiveness, and the proper dispensing of Judgment. And the person I forgave was me. Usually I am very hard on myself, and while I work at home, discipline is a part of getting that work done. In most circumstances, had I essentially taken the day off work, I would have beaten myself up terribly for that, but today I just went with it. The little nap and the mindless tv watching has left me refreshed.

What I need to leave behind from today- Five of Swords: I don't need to fight, and I don't need to "win". I experienced a bit of a bump in the road of a longtime friendship today, and this particular person and I are notorious for bumping heads, and hard. I could very clearly see where I thought he was in the wrong today in our conversation, but I decided to just let it go, because it's his life to lead, not mine, and his lesson to learn, if it is his time, and even assuming that I am right where I think I am. I don't need to win at any cost, and people's feelings matter more to me than being right. At least that is what I am working on.

What to carry forward from today- Empress: More cooking tomorrow, more cleaning and laundry, because when you have five kids that never ends. I take extreme delight in the small pleasures of home and hearth, and I enjoy making my home pleasant, so this card is not a surprise. After finishing NaNoWriMo about a week ago, I have found the habit of writing at l east 1,667 words is sticking, so that creativity, at a good clip even, continues to flow, and the Empress is all about nurturing the creative aspect of ourselves, as well as others. And incidentally, I find it far easier to write with a full and warm belly at a clean desk without chores weighing on my mind, so by taking care of those things I am freeing myself for other work I like more.

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Knight of Coins

The shadow card of this reading is the Knight of Coins, slow and steady wins the race. Energy to get projects started, that I have in spades, but what really determines success is not so much that we can start things, but that we can see them through. Writing books, building a business, nurturing a marriage, raising kids, these are all long haul, big picture concepts, and I am working on being consistent in my efforts with each rather than the explosive surges of energy I have at various times. I need to utilize those, as well, but I need to build a life of good habits, because how we spend our days becomes how we spend our lives, and we see more return for the little consistencies than for the sun spark burst method of reaching goals.

These cards are from The Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot Deck by Deirdre O'Donaghue and Wayne McGuire, available from her website, Tarot Unlocked.

Daily Draw - Eight of Swords, Queen of Cups, Knight of Cups

2011-12-05T09:38:00.001-07:00

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Eight of Swords, Queen of Cups, Knight of Cups

These are a melancholy set of cards today, or maybe it is just me.

I don't generally air a lot of my dirty laundry on my blog, although I am pretty open when I write. Mainly I think if you just don't have any dirty laundry to air you don't have to worry about it, and I work very hard on living my life in such a way I would have no issues with anyone seeing the way I live, truly, even when no one is watching.

Even so, no one gets out of any relationship alive, not wholly as they were before, and I understand that my perspective is only one when I discuss these relationships. If the other people want to share they should write a blog.

Currently we are dealing with a set of custody orders that is very old and extends back to when my stepkids were toddlers, over ten years ago. At one time, their mother was a little more lenient about allowing extra time with their father, my husband, when his schedule allowed for it. I was not around for the breakdown of this situation and I cannot comment as to why it may have happened, but I just know that now it is a holy living terror to try to adjust anything about the scheduling, and since we have a houseful of teenagers and almost teens, scheduling is a big deal and changes every week for them. It seems like the only solution is to go to court and ask for an amendment, which makes me sad for the kids. Going to court will put the kids in a position of feeling like they have to choose, and that should not at all be the case. They should get both parents equally, without any guilt being laid upon them, and although I can't claim to be unbiased, I feel they are being pressured and made to feel guilty. I also know that getting the court to say the kids go here at blah blah blah time and here at blah blah blah time will not address the changing needs of teenagers and all of us, including their mother, as a changing family, and I really just wish the adults would make a commitment to parent the kids where the kids need it, and not where the parents feel their rights are.

These are excellent young men, who love their mama, and who love their dad. I know both of their parents love them. I see my husband in the first card, worried and brooding, looking towards the broken part of his family, with the kids' mom in the second card, who the Queen resembles on her good days, and my younger stepson, with the tousle of dark hair, who plays at his mother's feet, the two of them taking delight in each other, which they should, but leaving my husband and other stepson out of their exchange. Far off, in the third card, is my older stepson who is turned away from everyone in the picture and possibly only going further, because he does not feel he has a safe place to voice his true feelings. There is a lotus, a symbol for beautiful things that grow out of muck and ugliness, so all is not lost for him.

I hate even saying this, but I am so pissed at the adults in the cards. I hate saying it because I love my husband and want to always be his staunchest supporter. I hate saying it because I want to respect and admire my stepsons mom, and I can't right now. The man hurts, and he looks upon the pain of the sons, but does nothing because he feels like he can't affect any real change, which is the message of the Eight of Swords. The mother as Queen of Cups is not truly engaged with her child, but just holds him there as an emotional lever, one of the lowest expressions of the energy of this court card. The getting older by the moment older son as Knight of Cups has no place for all his water to flow, and so he heads anywhere he can dump that Cup, and in this instance it is clearly away from his parents. The Knight is full of emotions and he has no voice.

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Justice

As the shadow card of this reading, Justice makes her solemn appearance. She is the underlying reason for all of this. Both adults think they have the right of it, and neither is going to budge without intervention from the court. Justice is a great thing, and one we should strive for, but sometimes the need for justice outweighs the compassion we should be feeling for other people, and in this case it truly is innocents who are suffering, kids who should be worried about getting their homework done and who they want to ask to the next dance, thinking about Magic cards and getting their license, not worrying about if their mother is going to lose her shit if they express a desire to see their dad more. The kids need fluidity and a schedule that adjusts to their needs, and they are not going to get it as long as lady Justice has to dispense her specialty ala King Solomon and the baby has to be cut in half to ensure each parent gets their ever so precious rights. One thing most people don't consider is this- there are times when gaining your rights keeps someone else from having theirs. This is such a time. The boys' mom is technically within her rights to deny extra time with their father, but in doing so she is infringing on the boys' right to see their father and their fathers' right to equally parent the children. And it appears court, because apparently her compassion and common sense have to be court mandated, is the only option. Justice is usually a card we want to see in readings that have anything to do with legal proceedings, since it offers promise of a just reward, but here she is cold, and I do not want coldness to touch my family.

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Temperance

Because this is not my situation to affect, only to deal with the aftermath when I see my husband and kids hurting, I feel like I need another card to offer me advice. What is the best thing I can do to help a positive outcome for everyone? Temperance, the angel of mercy, the card of git 'er done, and doing so with a deft touch and a light hand. I see both sides of this situation, because I have custody issues of my own to contend with, and I also understand why the boys' mom holds such animosity for my husband. I don't condone it or agree with it, but I do understand her. I also see my husband, and how much he wants to be there for his kids as much as he can, and how much he has both not been allowed to and not pushed for it. And most of all, I see my stepsons, who are in the middle. They are young men, and young men benefit so much from strong father figures as they learn to become strong men themselves. They are young men who love their mama, and are highly aware of how they affect her emotions. They are young men who are not always sure of their place in this family, and who I want to be assured of it. My place in this situation is to lightly tread, to offer healing where it is accepted, to continuously be calm and steady and light. Keep the love and compassion flowing from one cup to the other. It's all I can do.

The Majors are the most important aspects of this reading. The man can stop brooding and start taking action, the woman can shift her emotions to the most positive side of the Queen of Cups, empathic and nurturing, and the Knight of Cups can turn around and find his place. The Minors are not set in stone. What is troubling is that it seems the need for Justice may not ever trump the need for peace for these two, and that will extend to me, as well as my children, all of them, those I birthed and those I chose, so I have to become the creatrix of peace within my own domain and where I can affect change. I will love my husband and I will love our kids, and I will love the baby mama, and to the extent she will allow me to she can experience that love and compassion. I am aware that my husband is not able to extend it, but I am, so I do. I can create a home that is fragrant with the love he and I share, the love we have for the kids, with gratitude for their mother, with desire to all live to highest potential and be the best we can be.

My biggest reason for posting so sporadically has been that most of my readings are along this line, too personal, which I do not want to foist upon my readers, but I am coming to believe that tarot is intensely personal, and if I want to write about tarot I am going to expose myself at times. I don't intend to monger drama, and I have said everything I wrote in this post to my husband and to his ex, who truth be known was once a close friend, via the friendship with my now husband. She has access to this post, though I won't draw her attention to it I don't hide what I do either. I do not intend to down on her, because in every relationship, including the one she and I shared, and share now, both parties have responsibilities and both do both good and wrong. I really, truly hold no animosity for her, as our friendship reached its' natural conclusion so many years ago, and I hold nothing but fondness for what good times there were, gratitude for the gift of that friendship, and the wish that she always be joyful. Life is so short, and focusing on what brings us happiness is the only thing that makes that short time worthwhile.

And, living well is ALWAYS the best revenge.

These cards are from The Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot Deck by Deirdre O'Donoghue and Wayne McGuire, available from her website Tarot Unlocked.

Daily Draw - Sun, Hermit, Eight of Swords

2011-11-10T06:32:00.000-07:00


Crystal Visions Tarot- Sun, Hermit, Eight of Swords

These cards today are a reflection of how I feel about my Hermit week. The Sun and The Hermit are facing away from each other, somewhat at odds with each other. The Sun is a bright and merry card, and while The Hermit may feel a deep serenity, merry is not a word to describe her. I think how many times I put on a happy face, for my kids, for the people around me, so they don't see me in what I perceive as my weakness, and for my kids because I think a positive mom has a lot of power in their lives. I fake it til I make it sometimes, which can be good advice, but is not universal. Sometimes we need to just feel what we feel, and not put on an overly sweet face when we feel like hell on wheels. So, the Hermit is facing away from The Sun, and perhaps is offering her wisdom to the bound lady in the Eight of Swords. Miss Thang in there can't figure out how to loose her bonds, but if she listens to the sage Hermit she may yet have a chance to bust free. In some situations it is best to just admit we don't have the answers, to not be fakely optimistic, and to just take the help anywhere we can get it. Knowing who to ask for help, and how to graciously accept it, can be a kind of wisdom all on its' own.

Crystal Visions Tarot- Death

The shadow card of the day is Death. Because everything is better in Latin, the stone is inscribed- "VITA MUTATAR NON TOLLITUR", which for us plebes translates to, "Life is changed, not taken away."

As the piece of information I least want to deal with in this reading, I take that to be a gentle reminder to roll with the punches, even those I think I don't like, because sometimes the only choice we have in a given situation is how much grace and aplomb we show in it.

These cards are from Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - Lovers, Ten of Pentacles, Three of Swords

2011-11-09T06:06:00.000-07:00


Crystal Visions Tarot- Lovers, Ten of Pentacles, Three of Swords

To me, these cards embody the phrase, "Do what you love and the money will follow."

The Lovers are about love, of course they are, but the card also represents the choices we make, and its' advice is to follow your own heart. The Ten of Pentacles is success, on a material plane, and enjoying rich rewards well deserved. The Three of Swords, again, with dark words on dark wings. I think this card is a reminder to me that my idealization only brings me pain. I have to live in each moment and enjoy it for what it is, not what I wish it were. Ultimately, it is a hard lesson but God always knows best. I think I know best, but part of my lessons here are to let go and let God, not to be trite, but I struggle so much for control and I only end up mucking things up that way.

Often, I just let my daily draws tell me whatever they may, but today I had a specific thought in my head, "What will be the result of throwing myself into this card reading thing for business?" Of course, I don't like the thought of that Three of Swords, but really that is exactly the point- attachment to an outcome causes sorrow, but openness to whatever Spirit has to give leads to fulfillment. I see doing what I love, making a conscious choice to go with what I love, to follow my heart, even though that does not necessarily lead to a secure paycheck, but it does reap rewards that are beyond money. And even though there are richer rewards in life than cash, the grocery store seems to prefer the cold hard dollar, and the Ten of Pentacles, with the castle waiting for her to return home, promises that, too. The catch is, not without pain, of some sort, and since Swords deal with thoughts and communications, I think it must mean mental anguish of some sort. There is also this- although pierced through the heart with those wicked Swords, she has not fallen. She refuses to. She continues on, through pain and through tears and ice and snow, and doing what you love requires you to be strong, sometimes.

Crystal Visions Tarot- King of Cups

The shadow card is the King of Cups, the patriarch of the suit that deals with emotions. He is the oldest and most mature of the Cups court, and when he shows up he advises emotional maturity.He's balanced, firmly in this world, but not of it, not so serious about himself he can't get his feet wet, but not blithely splashing about, oblivious to his obligations. Elementally speaking, he is the passion and immediacy of fire, mixed with the coolness and depth of water. He urges me to embody those traits, to seek my natural balance, to feel what I need to feel, but not to let it unhinge me, so that I can focus heart and soul on the work that needs me.

These cards are from Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - Wheel of Fortune, Four of Pentacles, World

2011-11-08T12:02:00.000-07:00


Crystal Visions Tarot- Wheel of Fortune, Four of Pentacles, World

This set of cards today speak to me about changing fortunes, and a good way to cope with those changes.

The Wheel goes up, the Wheel comes down, and that is just a part of life. I waited tables for years, and a trick I had to learn to keep myself together was that of saving when times were good. Some shifts brought in a couple hundred dollars; some I would have made more if I worked at McDonald's. It's good to remember to save when we have money, and to spend judiciously at all times. This isn't always easy for me, I know it's not easy for most people. We have a few dollars in our pockets and after all, we deserve it, right? Commercials tell us we're worth it and we want to believe it.

The World urges that we garner our worth from inner contentment. The Wheel and the World are similar images, the spheres resting upon the lotus leaf. There is nothing wrong with wanting abundance and prosperity, and even when we do not covet material things we all have to eat. The bloom in the Wheel looks a bit trodden upon, though, while the World's sparkles. I am reminded that even when I decide that groceries are a better use of my money than new boots, I am a very rich woman- children I adore, a man who is better than my wildest fantasies, a home to care for, talents to nurture, friends and family, and the beautiful blend when the two become one.

The combination of the two Majors bookcasing the Four of Pentacles also brings to mind the thought of hoarding time, which is the most precious resource we all have. More money is findable, things can be replaced, but time is gone forever once its been squandered, and squandering time is one of my worst habits. I lose it everywhere! I have so many interests, and so many people pulling at me, but seeing the central figure demonstrates to me how important it is that I put the brakes on and make priorities, and then stick to them. My family is first and foremost, then my art and business, and everything else has to fall in behind those things.


Crystal Visions Tarot- Three of Swords

The shadow card today is the Three of Swords, a tangible reminder to look at things as they really are, and not as I might wish they were. This card shows me when I need to grieve, but remind me not to get stuck in grief. I have made mistakes, with time, with money, with my business, with my relationships, but they are not the sum total of who I am and what I have to offer. They a just one piece, and making mistakes paves the way for success as we learn what doesn't work.

These cards are from Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Tea Leaf Tuesday - November 8, 2011

2011-11-08T06:12:00.000-07:00

Tea Leaf Fortune Cards

This week it seems like I need to pay close attention to my health, which my doctors have already told me. I'm experiencing a lot of change and different ways of doing things and some of that is being forced. Having said that, I ate chocolate cake for breakfast and cheese sticks for lunch. This is not my normal way of eating, and I did so before this not so subtle reminder that a body is a temple, but eating this way is not fueling my tired body for success. I prepare healthy meals for my family three times a day, and get them up and moving as much as possible. I hope that firecracker of Excitement does not have to do with a health crisis, but I am a firm believer that forewarned is forearmed and now that I know I can be extra diligent. Cards do not make my destiny. I do, but not always wanting to make the best decisions for my body and my health could definitely be my Mountain, a major challenge to overcome. It could also indicate my Karma, having reaped what I have sown in the field of my health, and they are not all good seeds.

The Sun card of happiness and well being is the first card, and I think it carries the most weight, although I recognize that two cards referring to health, side by side, means something. I am ridiculously happy with my life, with my husband, my kids, my writing, reading tarot. Those are the things that matter most to me, and they are immutable. They cannot be taken from me. It seems that my lot in life is to love and be loved by people I cannot physically be near, and I am thinking of my distant friend too.

I just wanted you to know that these cards are available again, beautifully reprinted by U.S. Games Systems, Inc after having been unavailable or ridiculously expensive on the second hand market for years. I have received a set, and if possible they are even lovelier than the original version! So if you have always wanted some, hie thee to Amazon and order some up!

These cards are Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn, recently reprinted by U.S. Games Systens, Inc.

Daily Draw - Chariot, Star, Ace of Cups

2011-11-07T07:28:00.075-07:00


Crystal Visions Tarot- Chariot, Star, Ace of Cups

"This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill

Fifteen percent concentrated power of will

Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!"

~Lyrics from "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor

Today these cards make me think about the love we have to have for what we do, and the fact that as much as we love, that is still never enough.

The Chariot, my birth card (for more information about birth cards check out Bonnie Cehovet's Tarot, Birth Cards, and You, Keys to Empowering Yourself. It's a great book with practical ways to actually use tarot in your every day life!) is a card that shows victory, and charging forward, but it is does not just happen. "Victory through mastery" is a common set of keywords for The Chariot, and mastery comes from doing, every single day. I have heard the number 10,000 hours bandied about, and that seems pretty close to me the amount of time it takes to master something.

And what do you do to a Chariot? You drive it, right? Drive is both a quality and a verb, and both aspects are required. Without the drive, those horses are gonna go any which way they choose, and Rush reminds us, "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." The Chariot is a card that is so promising, so positive, but is a card that requires action. We will win, but we have to go after it, with every ounce of our being. Victory is assured, as long as we show up and play our A game. It won't just be handed to us.

The Star is a beautiful card, of hope and healing, beauty and poetry, but it is a far away card. It's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it is a far off light. It does not illuminate, only promises that you are not forgotten. To me, this card speaks today about the optimism and deep faith it takes to follow our dreams. We have to really believe that it is possible, and we need that ten percent luck Fort Minor rapped about at times.

The Ace of Cups is all about love, and we have to love what we do. Aces are potential, and as the culminating card of this reading I see that Drive + Unflagging Faith = Unlimited Potential for Love, which surely is an equation I can get behind.

Crystal Visions Tarot- Two of Cups

The shadow card for this reading is the Two of Cups, which is all about sacred contracts to me. It's also pleasure and adoration, so while the work we are sent here to do is sacred, and there is nothing more important than being the best possible version of ourselves, it doesn't have to always be so serious. We can approach life, and our own purpose, with a sense of love and fun. I see the teeny little fairy in the background as the figure from The Star, having left her vessels representing hope and trust with the couple, and as they drink deeply and slake their thirst they become ever more what they were always meant to be.

These cards are from Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Monday Majors: Theme for the Week- The Hermit

2011-11-07T06:17:00.035-07:00

Crystal Visions Tarot- Hermit

This week I am using the brand new Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso and published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. I am not even gonna lie; this has been one of my most anticipated decks of the year. I love the purple dusky colors and the 80's fantasy feel of the deck. What I do not like is the apparent return of U.S. Games to the stinky, slick lamination we all thought we had left behind, but I will save that for the forthcoming deck review.

My theme this week will be The Hermit; or learning to be wise. This is an apt theme for me, and I know this. I'm smart, and I am savvy, and I have a good amount of common sense, though I know I sometimes lack something when it comes to exercising it, but I am not always wise, and it may be a matter of quality of life that I learn to be so.

The Hermit is all alone on the top of a mountain. This tells me that looking to tv, to books, to the internet, to other people, for wisdom is just not gonna cut it in my world, not this week.

The Hermit bears a silver lantern, a light that shines out in the gloaming. I love to read tarot because I love to light the way for people who are lost, but to be able to do that, I have to become wiser myself, and have my own affairs in order. I know this, and I am working on it, day by day and issue by issue. It's not really as arduous of a journey as it might sound, thanks to having already been on the journey, but it's never ending, and it's better to just realize that and go with it.

The Hermit is a teacher, and it is important that I take the advice of those smarter and more experienced than me. I need to put ego aside and pay attention to the idea that as much as I know, there is always someone who knows more, and there is always more to learn. I am a good reader, I know that. I am a terrible business person, not because I don't care, but just because I don't know. Ignorance can be remedied, though.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings." ~John Muir

This card is from Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Back to the Blog

2011-09-09T18:32:00.000-06:00

Intuitive Tarot- King of Discs, Knight of Swords, Six of Swords

After what can only be described as a craptastic weekend I decided I was too emotionally wiped to be of much good to anyone, plus I did not get my images uploaded and didn't get my posts done before I left, so I just took the week off. I was days behind anyway, and really, did not have anything nice or non passive aggressive to write. What became clear to me is that people are not always who you think they are and that hurt my heart, more for The Man than me, because I don't think he has really encountered that before. Me, I am an old pro at recognizing assholes and systematically eliminating them from my life.

I am ready to blog again, though.

These cards are probably for The Man. He tends to be the King of Discs in my readings, and I think he has been the most shook by the events of the week. He looks right towards the Knight of Swords, who is archetypal warrior energy, and my honey sure had a lot of that to deal with over the long weekend and the days that followed. Impulsive people, thoughts not tempered with compassion. The Knight of Swords has his face mask pulled down tight. No one is going to look in his eyes, no one is getting anywhere near his heart. The Six of Swords is achingly poignant. Because the steering figure has white hair, like the turbaned King of Discs, I have the feeling the it is the same fellow. He is taking those that wanted to hop on his boat somewhere else, somewhere they can leave the combative Knight of Swords behind. The banks are steep, and there is nowhere for them to land their boat, at the moment, so there is no choice but to follow the river wherever it may lead, and trust that this part of the journey serves a purpose as well. One of the big things about the Six of Swords for me is this- we may not enjoy the journey, we may have to be drug away kicking and screaming, but we have to go sometimes.

Intuitive Tarot- High Priestess

The shadow card for this reading is the High Priestess. Her appearance in that position for me is a signal that I can't know everything about the situation I am reading for, that my information is incomplete, and so any conclusions I may draw could be flawed as a result. She also promises to reveal all, according the the divine plan that I am not always privy to, so that is rather comforting, looked at in the right light. I just have to wait on her good pleasure, and to be honest, only part of this reading is any of my business anyway.

She also probably speaks to the parts of the reading that are about me. I am unknown, I am unknown factor in this, and while the High Priestess is fairly cool and aloof as she sits on her throne, we can never forget she becomes Hecate, the dark side of the moon.

These images are from the Intuitive Tarot by Cilla Conway, published by St. Martin's Press.

Daily Draw - King of Wands, Hierophant, Three of Rings

2011-09-03T05:52:00.013-06:00

Twilight Realm: A tarot of Faery- King of Wands, Hierophant, Three of Rings

These cards eloquently tell a story about success and how we achieve it- passion and creativity, from the King of Wands, being in alignment with the Divine, as we see in the Hierophant, and willingness to do the work, as the industrious fellow in the Three of Rings.

This is my last draw with these cards for the week, and it is a telling one, so I think they will stay on my altar for a while as I ponder the beauty and simplicity of their message.

Short post today, because the cards have said it better than I could have.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

My Turn Tarot- September 2, 2011

2011-09-02T15:27:00.007-06:00

One of my main tenets of tarot reading is that laying cards is an excellent way to sift through the past, assess the present, offer choices, and a sometimes good way to see possible outcomes (as well as ways to change those outcomes if they are not pleasing). I also believe the cards are a two way conversation between myself and the Universe. Sometimes I am told things, and sometimes I get to tell some things myself. Tonight I am using these cards to express a wish, an intention, even a prayer, about what I would like to see happen.

We leave today for a long weekend with The Man's group of friends, and my most fervent desire is that he enjoy himself and that the blessed bright energy of the Sun infuse everyone's time together. He is my central concern in this spread, so I have chosen the King of Rings to represent him and laid it in the middle. I have placed the Magician on his left, to help him manifest everything he needs in order to enjoy this time with his friends, and the Sun to his right to symbolize the deep contentment of soaking up the last rays of the summer Sun.

I ask for the weekend to be good, to be calm, to be energizing, for restoration of broken relationships and forging of new ones. I ask to celebrate the past, enjoy fully the present, and make new memories to see us through the future.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - Five of Rings, Princess of Rings, Strength

2011-09-02T05:50:00.040-06:00

I was hoping the Strength card from this deck would show up sometime this week and say hello, in all its' 80s velvet painting glory. I can just hear the musical strains in the background, "Just a small town girl..." I am going to love unicorns forever and ever, I think.

Rings in this deck correspond to Pentacles, and as you can see there are two of them in this reading, the Five and the Princess, who would be a Knight, or at least the second youngest member of the court. Except she is not a Knight, she is a Princess, and completely herself.

The blue skinned faery in the Five of rings has foolishly lingered too long at a Samhain celebration, and the doors to the Otherworld have closed, leaving her lonely in the first snow flurries. She does not know how to care for herself, she is naked, and she has no resources, or so she thinks. This card expresses all my deepest anxieties- being foolish, losing my home, being cut off from the people I love, feeling unable to care for myself. The Princess of Rings is almost the complete opposite- she has used her resources so wisely she even has excess time to make beautiful things, like her wreath of posies. This is the potential outcome for the first fae; she can pull herself up by her bootstraps and get by, even thrive, or she can lay down and die in the cold.

Strength isn't a card we get to promise some knight in shining armor arriving imminently, whether on just a white horse or a unicorn, but a card we get to remind ourselves that it is all up to us. There is a rescue possible, but when we see Strength we are going to be the architect of it. The promise of this set of cards is that we can travel, from even the most fearful place, to one of glory and beauty. All Knights are hard working fellows, but the Princess of Rings does her work on the spiritual plane, so I know her advice is very practical, it is in all things that I can actually do, and not just in the way I think or feel. So much of my inner work is emotional and spiritual, but she is pointing the way to actual actions I can take, and the message is coming through loud and clear.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Book Review- Confessions of a Tarot Reader

2011-09-01T17:20:00.055-06:00

I bought this book, Confessions of a Tarot Reader: Practical Advice From This Realm And Beyond, by Jane Stern, because I like tarot, I like confessions, and I like to read. I did not then, and do not now, know exactly who she is supposed to be, but she writes as if I should, and so should you if you read this book.

This book is divided into chapters that correlate to each of the Major Arcana, and is illustrated with the luscious Bohemian Gothic Tarot Second Edition by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov of Baba Studio. Each chapter is liberally sprinkled with examples she has experienced in client readings (which I should say bothers me quite a bit because I am not sure I would want to have been one of her clients, although I am sure she has changed the names) and her personal take on the card, which by no means should be taken as the last word on the subject matter. The meanings portrayed are Jane Stern's opinion only, and it does not seem she finds any cards to be particularly positive nor does she seem to like her clients too much, and that tone dominates the book, I feel. Even so, reading the book is often like watching a bad episode of a reality television show; you know you shouldn't be watching it, there are more edifying ways to spend your time, but it's kinda gruesome in its' great terribleness (Real Housewives of New Jersey, I am looking at you...)

The history of tarot cards as presented in the book is largely believed not to be the true history of the cards, as most scholars agree that they were originally a trick taking game in Renaissance Europe that came to mean more to certain people later, and since she is presenting this book as a nonfiction memoir I feel that should have been at least noted, even if she does not believe it to be true. Apparently, she has many fans from other kinds of work she does, and I think it would be a real shame for people to read this book and have that be all they know of tarot.

I'm not sure what she confessed, either, so I think the title is misleading. As a tarot resource book, I consider this book to be a failure, but I do not think that was the main intention of the book. What it does do well is give a snapshot view of one readers' style, thoughts, and ideas, and if you like Jane Stern or will just read anything written on tarot, you will probably enjoy this book. The tone rubs me all the wrong way, but the writing is quite good, and some of the stories are entertaining, if not definitive (in my view) examples of the way the cards interact together. A slim volume is probably not enough to capture all of that, either, but at least a nod in the direction of other areas to explore would have been a nice gesture from an author who is probably garnering readers who have never experienced tarot before.

The author has apparently made many good decisions down her paths in life, and she seems to have very little patience for those of us who struggle more, and seems to have an air of superiority about her that makes me want to track her clients down and give them a big ol' hug and a glass of wine and a compassionate tarot reading, but one reason I have so many tarot reading buddies is I believe every person finds the right reader for them, so my fervent hope is the readings she gives examples of were the right one for those people, in that moment.

Update- October 18, 2011: Someone linked this review to Aeclectic Tarot, and the resulting thread is here, if you wish to read it. Jane Stern has showed up on that thread to chime in, which I would find more endearing if she had ever participated on the forum before, or if she looked around or commented on any posts other than the one about her book (which I did not start), but I don't think her main purpose is to endear herself to me, nor should it be. She has some answers to my concerns, although I do not feel she took my review with the proverbial grain of salt, and I absolutely wish her no ill, or feel mean spirited in writing this at all. Her tarot reading style as she presented it in this book does not jive with what I consider responsible, compassionate tarot reading, but I am not the final say in what makes a good reading. I still feel the tone of the book was condescending, and when she came to the thread to discuss her book she pointed out that as Yale graduate and successful author, with a television show and having been played by Kathy Bates, she is not "your typical card reader". I took issue with her tone there, too, as if most tarot readers couldn't possibly hope to be as successful as she, as if she reads cards as a lark and in spite of her intelligence and success, not because of them. I again felt condescended to and looked down upon. That could totally be my own shortcoming. I also feel it is in extremely poor taste, and not professional at all, to lambaste thoughtful critics of ones' work. I made no personal attack, and it is okay with me that we don't agree. I'm not trying to change her mind. As I said in the original review, I hope her clients received value, and I wish Jane Stern every success, as a tarot reader, as an author, wherever her life may take her, because there is room for all styles of reading that truly aim to help the client. Every book that goes mainstream, every person exposed to tarot as a viable healing modality, is one more person that I have the opportunity to reach, as well, and that is invaluable to me, and I thank Jane Stern for possibly bringing some of those people into the fold of tarot.

If you'll forgive me a small bit of snark, Jane Stern has an MFA in painting, so I assume at some point she studied art in Europe at the time tarot was emerging, so surely she must have seen some types of tarot imagery, had some idea of tarot history, which she misrepresents in her book. It's okay to not know, but it is not okay to pass off misinformation as fact when you don't. There was also a mention of her pricing for readings, in the comments of this blog, and in the AT thread, and she has dropped the prices since we originally were speaking of it, but just for the sake of clarity- If my market would bear that cost, I would gladly charge it, because as much I love reading tarot and helping people I also have a thing for designer shoes and feeding my gaggle of kids every single day. She should charge whatever she feels her time is worth, and as consumers we are free to pay it or not as we feel it is worth. I think you all can guess that I was not lining up to get a reading from her, but I wouldn't take one if it was free.

Loving the great conversation, folks! I am all for solidarity in the tarot community, and for rallying behind the brave souls that write, create, teach, and generally strive to make tarot fun, interesting, relevant, and that put themselves out there. I know that is so brave, and I also know my work does not appeal to everyone. I also feel as a small community we can be less than honest at times, not wanting to step on anyone's toes, and as energy workers we are often so aware of how we can impact others and mostly we want to be kind and make nice. I do not like this book a great deal, although I have found positive points to it, but I do not know Jane Stern, and I do not wish her any ill. I hope that everyone who wants to read this book does so, and I wish you all, Jane included, the joy of the journey!

Also, you can hear Jane Stern talk about her book, herself, and her life on Tarot Today Radio here, if you'd like.

Daily Draw - Eight of Wands, Six of Swords, Queen of Cups

2011-09-01T06:10:00.000-06:00

Today, these cards make me think of how we sometimes need a little (or gigantic) push to get to where we are supposed to be. The couple in the Eight of Wands are probably getting on just fine, but Cupid is going to let his arrows fly and help them along. To me, the Six of Swords is journey, but often a reluctant one, one we didn't really want to take, but look- when we arrive the Queen of Cups greets us with open arms and a beatific smile.

When I think about the way these cards relate to my life, and in light of the shadow card of the draw, I can't help but think about a failed love affair. Or maybe it wasn't failed, but did exactly what is was supposed to, which for me was put me firmly in the path and mindset to be open and ready for the amazing marriage I am experiencing today. There was love between us, an immense amount of it, and friendship, too, which I am discovering more and more is the more important ingredient in a successful relationship, but nothing we did seemed to be able to make us able to be together. This was an exercise in extreme frustration for both of us, and took a nasty toll on both of us, but one of my best and worst attributes is that I hang on tenaciously, and I refused to let go of this relationship. Love should have been enough, right? It wasn't though, and it took the Universe breaking both of our hearts over and over to finally make me understand that it just wasn't meant to be.

And I grieved. I grieved so hard I made myself sick with it. I cried so long and hard I didn't think there was any way out and I would never be happy again. And I hated him. As much as I loved him, I hated him too. And I hated myself for letting myself go that far down that road.

Then one day I ran into an old friend, and one thing led to another, and then he had his hand on my knee, and it just felt right, and then he had his lips pressed against mine, and that felt even righter, and all the feelings that had smoldered below the surface of our friendship for years lit on fire, and we have been inseparable since that night. Now I am married to the absolutely right person for me, as I hope and pray and every indication seems to be that I am the right person for him. The point I am making, though, is that I did not choose to be there, that way. Things could have gone an altogether different way and I would have missed out on the very best thing that has ever been mine, if I had not been pushed and forced out of the thing that was very good, but just not quite right. I did not choose that path. I was forced down it. And I am lucky for having had my heart broken so thoroughly.

The Lovers card in this deck really highlights the choice aspect, with the man being drawn to the siren of the watery depths, even though following her will surely mean his death, to the great grief of his other love. I have tried to explain to my former love, though I am not sure he believes me, that there is room in the human heart for more than one person. There is not room in my definition of marriage and fidelity for more than one lover, but what I feel for my husband does not diminish nor eradicate what I felt and feel for him. I would not have been able to pick, so Love chose for me, and that hurt like a bitch, but I can't be sorry now, except for the pain we both felt in the meantime. For me, that pain forced me to grow into the kind of person that is the kind of wife my husband needs, compassionate and gentle, like the Queen of Cups, and I am not sure I would have become that without the catalyst of the immense pain I went through.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Comfort Me, Transparent Oracle

2011-08-31T17:29:00.041-06:00

Have you ever seen Emily Carding's innovative round oracle deck, the Transparent Oracle, published by Schiffer Books? It is really fun, and a perfect foil to her Transparent Tarot. They can totally be used together.

I'm a bit in a funk after returning from my trip, and a bit nervous about what comes next as I am not too much looking forward to the next trip, on Friday, so I asked these clear round cards for some comfort. My cards are Mercury, Gateway: The Celestial Realm, and Element: Fire, which you can see combined here.

Mercury is the planet of communications, as many of us have felt recently while it was in retrograde, and the Gateway card to the Celestial Realm combined with the element of fire suggests I will get comfort from checking the astrological chart for the coming weekend. It would also likely help me to have some clear communications about what I expect, what is expected of me, and how to bridge the two. Two of the cards I have are from the direction of Above, and the book's entry from the 13th card of Element: Fire advises that Fire combined with Above cards speak of the power of prayer and divine will. To me, this suggests two things- One, that I will feel better about the situation through spending time in prayer and meditation, which is always sage advice, but being particularly pointed to it now is telling. Two, some things about the upcoming trip, and just my life in general this week, are as they should be, are in accordance with the divine will of God, and I don't have a lot of options so I can let go and just trust. The meditation part will probably help me feel calmer and more readily accepting of whatever may come, and I have been repeatedly been getting messages that meditation is what I need to move to the next level in many areas. This also relates back to my weekly Tea Leaf Fortune Reading as I need to pay close attention to my health, and be aware of the Angel that is watching over me. I'm not convinced I need a whole angel just for little old me, but I'll take what I can get.

These cards are from the Transparent Oracle by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - Queen of Rings, Two of Wands, The Fool

2011-08-31T06:14:00.032-06:00

My first thought upon seeing these cards was that was me, the Queen of Rings, dancing in the shower like I do, which makes me feel light hearted and happy, like the Fool card. It also reminded me of the Zumba classes I have started, and how I feel kinda foolish as I learn the steps and moves, but how good it feels to move the body in joy.

Then I thought about how the Queen of Rings looks like she might be a little reticent, holding some of herself back, but the faery in the Two of Wands, she is all in. She is acting like a focal point to draw all of that energy from the stars and into the plant she is nurturing, and the Fool is jubilant. He is always an "all in" kinda card, for better or for worse. I feel the Two of Wands is the fulcrum of this reading, because the position of her hands beckons to the practical Queen of Rings to let go, to experience freedom, while the hand nearest the haphazard Fool is grasping tightly. I feel she is counseling balance, a blending of the two energies for the perfect mix that will allow the potential of the flower to burst into full bloom.

The shadow card for this reading is the Wheel of Fortune, more dancing! It is a gentle reminder that while sometimes we just grasp the Wheel, hold on tight, and wind up wherever it takes us, more often we make our own luck, with our everyday choices, the things we tell ourselves, and preparing ourselves to ever become more fully the person we are meant to be.

If I view this reading through the lens of my Major for the week, the Devil, I realize that being a total slave to my obligations is another way of tying myself down, but that when I let go of all those things and just cut loose, still I am responsible for what may come of that. It's a sobering, comforting, terrifying, thrilling thought, that I am the creatrix of my life, and my destiny, that I have the power to nurture and grow those things I desire, as well as the power to prune and pare away those that I do not, and when I have done it right, for at least one moment there is nothing but peace and joy and contentment where I am. Then we start all over again, because this moment is all we really have, or are guaranteed.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder and published by Schiffer Books.

Tea Leaf Tuesday - August 30, 2011

2011-08-30T21:14:00.000-06:00

Advice from a friend- now taking applications! I AM paying attention to my health, or trying to do better anyway. My stomach insists and so do my heaving lungs after hauling myself up and down the hills of San Francisco all weekend. Zumba is in the hizouse and back to daily yoga practice. I'm looking, looking for that path with money on it. I shan't give up, though! Family matters, and the security of my family is ALWAYS tantamount to me, and so I will be especially careful with my pennies this week, watching them and not making any investments until I have all the information. Even so, I trust that evverything will be just fine, ad the Angel wants me to know that, too.

One of the great things about these cards is that I have definitely had mixed bag readings with them, and that is okay with me because life is a mixed bag, but they always seem to end with great advice or sweet promises that come true, so they knock me over, then pick me up again and say, "I got your back." That is a special quality to me in a friend, in a deck, in anyone, really, so I thank the universe for that tonight.

Guess what... One of my most frequent requests is to either sell my Tea Leaf Fortune Cards or help people find some. Well, U.S. Games has acquired the rights and will be reprinting it. I have no idea what it will look like, but for the bold of heart you can preorder it on Amazon. Let me know how you like it!

These cards are from the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn.

Daily Draw - Six of Wands, Page of Swords, Ten of Swords (Reversed)

2011-08-30T06:21:00.060-06:00

I do not read reversals, because I look for the placement of the card, the relationship between the cards, and the elemental dignity, as well as my own intuition to tell me what part of the spectrum to read the card. I shuffle in a way to specifically not have reversed cards, and this Ten of Swords did not in fact come out reversed. I am sure of it, because I am getting familiar with the image this week, and I would have noticed an flipped it over. But the fact is when I got up and left the reading for a bit, and then came back, the card was upside down. Very curious, because I was the only one here at the time, and I seriously doubt the cats managed to flip it over so perfectly. That to me is a pretty clear sign this card is wanting to be read reversed.

Okay.

My oldest son tends to be the Page of Swords in my personal readings, and these cards show the precarious balance of the current path he is on. He is smart, and quick, and witty, and he certainly can become the fire bird and rebirth himself into glory, as we see in the Six of Wands. He could also fall into the despair and ruin of the Ten of Swords. It is reversed because it is not a done deal, and even if he goes against everything everyone is hoping and planning and striving for, he can still pick himself up and try again. It is never easy, but every moment is another chance to turn it all around, for him, for me, for you, for everyone.

I suspect something about him feels he has to keep going, keep pushing, as hard as he can, whetting the sword over and over, until he hits that plain of destruction. If I did read reversals, though, I would read the Ten of Swords reversed as infinitely less impactful than its' upright counterpart. He thinks he is destroying his world, whether that is what he truly wants or whether he just wants to show us all how badass he is, but really he is just mucking it up, and muck is like fake blood- it's messy, and it stains, but no permanent injuries are caused by it.

The shadow card, which I usually look at but do not always include in my posts, is the Tower. There is a lot of fire and air, feeding each other, stoking each other, surrounding this kid right now, and if he does not make the changes the other cards point to, they are going to be made for him, with no choice of his own about how that looks. That too will cleanse and refresh, like a good old fashioned thunderstorm, but it won't be easy or painless.

(I apologize to my son, who would not be caught dead reading his mama's hoodoo blog, for airing some of his dirty laundry, but much like his actual laundry, I have to deal with it, too, and I think we all remember how smart we were at 16, how much we knew everything, how dumb our parents were, how sweet that stolen moonlight could feel on our sneaky faces, how profound we were, how untouchable. I adore him, I love him to pieces, and I know who he is, who he was, and who I hope he will be.)

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - Three of Wands, Nine of Wands, Ace of Cups

2011-08-29T07:42:00.010-06:00

Home again, home again, jiggety jig.

The antlered figure in the Nine of Wands seems to be protectively watching over the girlish faery in the Three of Wands. The Ace of Cups is a pure white lotus, a symbol of sacredness, and one I particularly enjoy, as I am told it grows out of the darkest, dankest mud to explode on top of the water in gorgeous color and unstoppable hope.

The Three of Wands is a card that to me looks like an aspect of myself that needs to be protected from harsh words and critical eyes, although in all honesty most of those come from me. I do not get the feeling from the intense looking deer fae that she particularly cares who it is trying to harm her ward, just that she is there to prevent that.

Today these cards are a good reminder to care diligently for my gifts, for the things that are important to me, to pick my battles wisely but to stand and deliver once I have. The lens of my Major Arcana for the week, the Devil, tells me to own my actions and make sure they are always serving my highest good, and to go ahead and exalt when I have reason.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Monday Majors- Theme for the Week: The Devil

2011-08-29T00:30:00.042-06:00

When I look at this rendition of the Devil, it seems to have an optical illusion effect, much like those pictures where you are supposed to tell if it is an old lady with a hooked nose and pointy chin or a young lady sporting an elegant coif. It is all about perspective. So is the Devil. When I first picked up the card I believed the young lady had her back arched and her face turned skyward as she exalted in the lightning storm, one hand raised in triumph, the other flung behind her head as she cries out. Now it looks more like she is crouched between the rocks, shame keeping her from facing her own reflection and preferring that her hair hide her face from knowing, as if it were that easy to turn away from the things we have done.

There is no horned figure in this image, no chains and no coercion. For good, as in my first impression, or for bad, the Devil is in the choices we each make every day. The artist seems to be stressing the idea of personal responsibility and accountability, and not looking to a Devil that causes us to do things, but to look inside our own souls to figure out why we do the things we do. I don't know about you, but sometimes I have the distinct impression that looking at my true self can be a scarier prospect than looking at any horrific Devil figure.

There is no judgment in this Devil card, because sometimes Devil energy is needed. When you want to spice things up in the ol' bedroom, for example, or a healthy dose of hedonism is the only cure for what ails you. In that case, you should throw yourself into whatever it is you are doing with all abandon, no regrets, but with eyes wide open.

But when we have willfully made mistakes, hurt others, said cruel things, drank too much, had one too many cupcakes, when we have done something we know to be wrong, then it is just as important to have our eyes wide open as we take a good look at ourselves and full accountability for our lives. The Devil is not a card we get when we are being done wrong, but a card that denotes being the wrong doer.

I leave you with the words of Maya Angelou:

"It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self."

This card is from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - Four of Swords, Ten of Swords, Two of Rings

2011-08-28T06:39:00.009-06:00

New week, new deck! Today I will begin using the Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder, published by Schiffer Books.

The Four of Swords and the Two of Rings, which equates to Pentacles, seem to look on the battlefield of the Ten of Swords. At least one person chose not to enter the battle, as we see in the Four of Swords his weapon waiting. The elf in the Two of Rings presumably has some powers, and is waiting on the sidelines before exercising them. Would the Ten of Swords outcome have been changed by either of them taking action?

Without a doubt, it is important to choose our battles carefully, but also without a doubt some of them have to be fought. For me, these cards are addressing a situation in which I have left my sword at the wayside far too long, and it is time to bring it forth, for better or for worse. The Two of Rings symbolizes to me a secret weapon I have, that while small, could be the turning point of the figurative battle. Because of the mushrooms, which are kept in the dark and fed manure, I feel this is going to go on and on until I actually do something about it.

If I view this reading through the lens of my Majors card for the week, The Star, I see that there is plenty of hope for the situation, but some action needs to be taken as well.

These cards are from Twilight Realm: A Tarot of Faery by Beth Wilder for Schiffer Books.

Sunday Showcase- Songs For The Journey Home

2011-08-28T00:01:00.030-06:00

As I get ready to leave San Francisco BATS today I am featuring an aptly named deck, Songs For The Journey Home. This one hails from down under, Australia, and as soon as I heard the name I had to have it. I didn't care what the pictures looked like. It turned out I got lucky, because the cards are just as lovely as the name. I received this deck from a lovely fellow blogger and tarot enthusiast who decided to take matters into her own hands and rustle up an order when we could not find any locally, and I will be forever grateful because this deck is a shining jewel in my collection.

I love the round cards, which are not clones of Waite Smith images, which makes sense since nowhere on the box does the deck claim to be tarot, though the structure IS there. The beautiful, soft, warm and gentle pictures really showcase the shining spirits of the deck creators, one of whom sadly passed away last year. I am sure she was sang home gently, though, if these images are any indicator of the kind of life she led.

These cards come from Songs For The Journey Home lovingly created by Dwariko von Sommaruga and Catherine Cook.

Saturday Showcase- Tarot de Marseille ISIS Version

2011-08-27T17:17:00.001-06:00

A whispered buzz in the tarot community had me all agog early on for this deck, and I will never regret its' purchase. Bringing Tarot de Marseilles into modern times... I am down!

It is everything a Marseilles tradition deck should be - stately, rich, elegant. Self published in Japan, it is a joy to shuffle and merely look through, too.

Lots of other tarot writers have become enamored of this deck as well: See Le Fanu, who tends to be my ultimate enabler, and has written a rave review, Alex Satin whose engaging post first brought the deck to my attention, Mr. La-Luna whose collection makes me green with envy, and Bonnie Cehovet who added another dimension with her review.

These cards are the Tarot de Marseilles, ISIS Version, produced by Tadahiro Onuma.

Deck Review - Tarot of Durer

2011-08-27T12:35:00.078-06:00

This has been a fairly contented week using the Tarot of Durer, which has been published by Lo Scarabeo. The images are based on the art and engravings of German artist Albrecht Durer (May 21, 1471 – April 6, 1528).

Some of the images are quite bawdy, in a way I find endearing and hilarious, kind of like grandma at a burlesque show, not meant to be taken too seriously, so they are not for everyone. A mischievous Fool card shows us exactly what he thinks of a world that sometimes takes itself too seriously, and the Queen of Pentacles sticks her tongue out at us as a reminder that lewd is in the eye of the beholder, and while sometimes we want to reach for ecstatic new heights, sometimes we just need to get it on. This deck has a bit of a sarcastic, dry sense of humor that does not take itself too seriously while still reaching for good readings.

The art style is saturated water colors, and the deck itself very much reminds me of the Alchemical Tarot by Robert Place, currently about to be printed in a Third Edition. There are lots of symbols to use and read, and lots of freedom within the structure of the deck to read the way you choose to. There are 78 cards, with the 22 Major Arcana labeled normally, Strength at 11, Justice at 8, with Latin phrases inscribed on each of the Majors. The structure is loosely based on the Waite Smith deck, but there are some cards that go a whole new direction, and that is absolutely all right with me. When I first began using the deck, I was bothered by the titles going vertical on the left side of the card, in multiple languages, but as the days passed it was less bothersome. I feel this deck is a great candidate for trimming, and may get around to lopping those titles right off soon. The colors are already gorgeous, and trimming the deck would only make them pop even more.

The deck itself is about 2.75" x 4.75" and packaged in a tuck box with the ubiquitous Little White Book, which does little to explain the thought process behind the choosing of the images, but does translate the Latin better than Google Translate, I found to my chagrin. The card stock is lightly varnished and shuffles quite easily and smoothly. The backs are ivory with a green reversible pattern from one of the cards.

I do not think everyone will enjoy this deck, as it is a bit snarky in readings, and both the easy nudity in cards and the small amounts of blood could be disturbing to some. The deck has a Renaissance flair to the art, and would work well for people who like their readings a little humorous and who like allegorical stories to tell. I have found it to be a keeper in my collection, and I will reach for it when I find myself getting a little full of myself, because it seems to have a pretty good ego deflater built in. The cards flow together easily and offer great readings, as I did several on Aeclectic Tarot this week, as well as using it at Denver Tarot Meetup for the readings I did there.

Two thumbs up for a historical looking deck (artfully speaking, not tarotfully speaking) that carries itself lightly through the world while maintaining a none too careful dignity as well!

These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - Five of Cups, Ace of Swords, Knight of Wands

2011-08-27T07:21:00.036-06:00

To me these cards look like the central one, the Ace of Swords, has slain the first card, the Five of Cups, and the Knight of Wands is turned away from the whole mess, in disgust. Swords are about the thoughts we think and the way we communicate, so while the Ace of Swords is potentially a very positive card, but like all Aces it is mostly potential only, so the use of the raw energy is up to the wielder. This makes me think of words used unkindly, of feelings hurt because sometimes we speak before we really think, or we place the vaulted notion of truth above the feelings and emotions of other people. I don't know how many times I have heard variations of the sentiment- "If the truth hurts people, it's not my fault." Well, actually, if you said something that didn't really need to be said, yes it is.

We should always speak in truth, when we have to speak at all, but not every thought that crosses our minds has to be shared. These cards are a reminder to me that if it is not edifying, if it can't help but it can hurt, then it does not need to be said.

The kits in the Ace of Swords, looking to their mama, also remind me that children learn what they live, and that I have to walk the walk and talk the talk I expect them to, because words without action are useless. The Knight of Wands knows this, and that is why he doesn't even acknowledge what is going on in the other cards. He is saving his energy for endeavors worthy of his time. He is probably also advice for me, when I confront the Gossip card from my Tea Leaf Fortune card reading this week.

These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - Knight of Cups, Judgment, Four of Swords

2011-08-26T06:07:00.029-06:00

Good morning from much-cooler-than-Colorado northern California!

Today these cards show how I procrastinate at times, running away from what I should be doing, like the naughty Knight of Cups, and how sometimes I need a pretty big wake up call, like we see in Judgment, and how that often leaves me having painted myself into a corner, or trapped and gnawing at my own paw like the fox in the Four of Swords. These cards are so over the top, with the fleeing Knight, the angel of Judgment with his puffed up cheeks and eyes squeezed tight as he blows that horn as hard as he can so there can be no doubt it's time to get up, and the sad little fox, so clever but still caught.

A good example of this is the trip to San Francisco. I have known for at least six months when it would be, where it would be, that I was going, and what I needed to pack. Did I deal with any of that? No, I did not. I was frantically packing the morning of, and The Man was frustrated with me, as he should have been. I was also frantic about leaving kids and pets, when a little more advance planning would have set my mind at ease, so I ended up with a big mess of my own making. I set my own trap and put my paw right in it.

Judgment is one of those cards that I often dread seeing for other people when I read for them, as it really doesn't say much of anything to me for most other people, but in my personal readings it is almost always a call to reminder of paying attention to my spiritual health and practices. Perfectionism and procrastination are two sides of the same coin, and one way the monkey mind occupies itself when I give it time to. Judgment is usually a not so gentle prodding to me to get my spiritual affairs back in order, to pay attention to what I am telling myself, and to meditation if I have let it slide, which I almost always have when this card appears.

These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - King of Cups, Four of Wands, The Hanged Man

2011-08-25T05:35:00.016-06:00

These cards are probably a little bit describing what The Man goes through to be with me sometimes. I am loving and sweet to him, and he sure is the center of my world, but I am well aware I can be a trial at times.

I very much want to go on our trip today, but my anxiety absolutely flares around traveling. I have overwhelming emotions, which we can see in the King of Cups rising waters. I am worried about my Little Big Man whose care plans had to change last minute and the dog who hates being separated from us and we can't find one of the cats who was naughty and slipped outside and I hate flying and I am nervous to meet new people and I have not even packed yet and my hair is a mess and I feel guilty spending family resources on something that is essentially just for me and really I could go on and on... He really can't do anything right for me just now, either. The Four of Wands shows him lecturing me about going to the doctor for my stomach issues, where I am half scared for what they could tell me and half pretty sure I wouldn't do anything they advised anyway because I do not like the way western medicine treats symptoms and not systems. The card also shows me not listening, which is probably frustrating him. The Hanged Man shows the impasse we are at, how he just has to suffer through this and so do I. The Latin on the Hanged Man reads, "Many plots against a good man." Poor honey!

The obvious answer is for me to just calm down, suck it up, trust that everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to, and stop torturing him and myself with my anxieties. If only life were that simple...

If I manage to do all that, I will be in San Francisco for the next four days, attending the Bay Area Tarot Symposium. All the weekend posts have been written and scheduled, but are not in real time. They are (I hope, and you'll understand once you see this sorry set of cards), a discussion around cards rather than a true daily draw. I'll check in when I can and everyone enjoy your weekends, whether you make it to BATS or hang out at home or something in between!

Update: As I remember from this week's Tea Leaf Fortune Reading there was a Misunderstanding, Great Passion, and Someone Behaving Stupidly. I may not have to wait all week to see who that someone might be. I looked in the mirror, and the only turkey I saw was me. *gobble gobble*

These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Chariot Reversed, Or You're Not Going Anywhere, Punk!

2011-08-24T19:24:00.066-06:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again...

Actually, I do. Monday.

But last night I had a reading at Denver Tarot Meetup that suggested my trip might not go as smoothly as I would like it to. The Chariot decided to be reversed in the physical aspects part of the spread, and while my reader was a newbie to tarot, I totally believe the reading is valid regardless of the experience level of the reader. My question was if she could tell me what I might need to know about the upcoming trip to San Francisco. She could, in fact, and the first card that showed itself was the Chariot... reversed (cue level down music).

Since I believe I make my fate, and not the cards, I asked my Wisdom of the Hidden Realms oracle to show me where the problem might lay.

The Dragon's Duel card definitely resonates with my inner conflict. I am not an easy traveler, being excessively home bodied. I also feel guilty about using our resources for a trip that is really mostly just for me. The Man will go, happily, as he is a traveling Sadge, but I feeeeeel bad. I am just not sure that what I want is what is right for my family in this precise moment, and I have women's disease so I think it all comes down to me; I am responsible for everyone, everyone's happiness depends on how I perform in all my sundry roles, I need to perfect. I'll bet some of you have it, too. (But you shouldn't. You are fabulous!)

Then I asked what was my best advice to combat that feeling- The Chess Queen. This is an advice card, so I can read it positively. I need to trust that I have made the right decision, trust that my kidtauplets and pets are gonna be just fine, trust that we are going to have a good time and be blessed with this mini vacation.

I also need to make a plan, for packing and all the other logistics, because there is comfort in having a plan. Plans should be flexible, but in general are pretty darn good to have.

And if I successfully enact the advice of the Chess Queen, what will my outcome be? The Ice Queen. This was another troublesome card, because it feels like non-movement as well, just like that dastardly Chariot reversed, and I need movement. I need to move like 1500 miles tomorrow! I did not like that card at all, and so I drew another- (this is standard operating procedure, right?)

The Arrow Master, and then I got it! I am going to get what I want, this trip, this time away with The Man and this tarot learning greatness, but I need to detach myself from expected outcomes. I want everything to be perfect, and flow perfectly, and we are hosting a dear friend as a roommate while we are out there, and so I feel responsible for her happiness in this trip as well, and I need not to. I need to make myself like the Ice Queen, the Queen of Swords, who cares and loves and does her best, but does not beat herself up over the little ways things can go sideways.

So, trust- check!
Plan- check!
Detachment- sorta check!
Going on a much anticipated trip to a beautiful place- definitely check!

These cards are Wisdom of the Hidden Realms by Colette Baron-Reid for Hay House.

Daily Draw - King of Pentacles, Two of Wands, The Lovers

2011-08-24T06:06:00.060-06:00

The King of Pentacles is The Man, as ever in my readings. He takes care of things on a very practical level, and while he is the best hearted person I have ever known and an absolute charmer and prince on every level, he tends to be quite pragmatic and realistic, which is a good foil to my flighty artistry. The Two of Wands is about reaching for greatness. In this case, one of the great cats is literally trying to stretch out and reach the prickly porcupine. My tender sensibilities want to think he just wants to love it and play with it a bit, while his partner looks on. The scene on the Lovers portrays something impossible to work out, a satyr and a human woman, but the Latin inscription reads, "Nothing is difficult for those who love."

Today these cards make me remember to consciously give thanks for all the good things in my life, The Man who I adore, who adores me and makes sure I know it, being chief among them. The hard things aren't so hard with him, and every day life has taken on a dreamlike quality where I can't wait to get from one moment to the next, just enjoying each step by his side. I am grown up more, or this is right, or some combination of the two, because I don't need perfect, I just need him and my family. And I know no one who isn't in a happy relationship wants to read about mine, so I feel almost guilty about having found this beautiful joy. Life is by no means perfect; there is never enough time in the day and stretching the dollars is a constant struggle. We both have contentious custody situations, and exes who wish us no good, as well as two teenagers, two middle schoolers, and a baby girl who is 9 going on 19. All of that adds up to a lot of stress, but somehow it's not crushing when there are two to bear the burdens.

These cards are also such a contrast to my weepy, sad cards of yesterday. I said I didn't know where they applied to my life, but as I look at my happy, triumphant cards this morning, I feel they may have been referring to a dark time in my life, about four years ago, when my kids' dad and I were splitting up. That was so hard for me, because I loved my family, and I wanted it more than anything, and I did not let go of the relationship gracefully, though I dearly wish I had, because today I can see where I had to be broken down and rebuilt in order to be more fully who I really am. Also, because The Ex and the mistress will always hold in their minds the idea that I want to be with him, and I truly don't. I loved him, at a time and to a point, but it was never the all encompassing, unconditional love I have now, and if I thought it would do any good I would write both of them a thank you letter, because where I am is exactly where I want to be. What I loved most of all, more than The Ex and what I really cared about was the family, the children and my place in it and my former in laws and our life together. There is also the point that The Ex deserves to be loved the way I love The Man, and while we could have probably "made it work", life is so short and you only get this one shot at it, so we both deserve to live more fully than just getting by together. But my sadness over the loss of my family, or what I perceived as the loss, I allowed that to cripple me for many months, and it went beyond simple grieving and into the danger zone of believing that was life was, pain and misery.

Love just happens to us, at first, but then it becomes a conscious choice, to stay in love and fan the flames of desire and to keep walking down the path together.

These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Tea Leaf Tuesday - August 23, 2011

2011-08-23T13:58:00.008-06:00

I would be willing to bet that most misunderstandings rise out of great passion and people behaving stupidly. I wish the gossip card could surprise me, but it doesn't. I am well aware that there are people in my life, mostly remnants and hangers on, that do not wish me well, and that's okay. They talk about me because nothing else in their lives is as interesting. My little sister posted this on her facebook page the other day and I echo the sentiment- "I love all haters, fakers, pretenders, and backstabbers. I thank y'all for making me strong." I am responsible for me, and the way I walk in the world, and everyone else is responsible for them. At the end of my time here, when I make my accounting to the powers that be, I will not be trying to explain why they feel the need to be mean. I'll be explaining how I reacted.

We are going to San Francisco on Thursday, so I am sure there will be some happy, light hearted fun mixed in, and I am sure we will make it on a boat at some time. If there is a lottery or casino kind of thing there I will be sure to throw some money down on that lucky card. I'm excited for the Chain. I am ready for things to be happening!

Update: August 30, 2011- The misunderstanding happened here, wherein my gentle and soft spoken husband became quite irate with me for continually putting off needed doctor's appointments, and I would be willing to go so far as to say that the great passion and someone behaving stupidly was there, as well. I am not naming names, though... I am still not all that concerned about the gossip, because when you live your life with integrity you just don't have to worry about those kind of things, and as I said I am sure it happens all the time anyway, because I was not always good about surrounding myself with people who lived their life that way.

We had a beautiful time in San Francisco, with lots of carefree time as a couple and with friends, and I loved every single moment of it. I can't wait to go back, and it is definitely on my list of livable cities, should we ever need a change of landscape. I also believe that the act of attending San Francisco Bay Area Tarot Symposium has set into motion that chain of events that will affect my life, in no small part because I learned sooooo much and had such a fire lit under my behind to get in gear with my business pursuits. It became very clear to me that while learning is lifelong, I am beyond ready to spread my wings in both areas I am passionate about- tarot and writing. Now I just need to attend to the details.

The winning or windfall is The Man's to expound upon, as he has a lucky nature and works hard, which always ends up a winning combination. He won a gorgeous Steele Wizard Tarot from the raffle at BATS, which is his first deck, as well as probably a HUUUUUUGE prize at work, which was performance based AND he won even missing two days at work to accompany me. I'll let you in on the details after we know them, if you don't hear me screeching in delight wherever you are.

Another win for fortune telling with the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards!

These cards are the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn.

Daily Draw - Five of Cups, The Moon, Eight of Cups

2011-08-23T07:09:00.045-06:00

What a moody set of cards I have drawn today! They just want to lay about and moan about how not fair it all is.

The birds in the flanking Cups cards want to cry, and they very well may have good reasons for doing so. The lady perched in the curve of the crescent Moon looks as if she is grieving something as well, and the dog howls along with her in her grief, but the Mad Hatter figure, he just keeps on keeping on, because really, that is all we can do. Grief is a valid part of life, and we need to feel what we feel, but we need to also get up and get on with our lives. We can't and shouldn't kill the grieving, sad parts of ourselves, but we shouldn't let them take over our lives, either.

Playing a twitter game a few weeks, ago I posted the Dr. Suess quote, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." as a possible meaning for the Five of Cups. Because the internet removes all need, and some people's desire, to actually be polite some random person decided to blast me for being trite and not acknowledging the need to grieve for what we have lost. (It's hard to not be trite in 140 characters or less, but I digress...) Au contrair, I think grief is a very important part of life, but I also think that myself, and many other people, use grief as an excuse to not do the things we need to do. We get lost in the delusional light of the Moon and begin to believe that is the only way to feel.

I am not particularly grieving anything, not yet, but I am well aware I may be on the cusp of a great loss, but I want to remember that I can cry when I need to, and then I need to let it go and keep on moving, and that when next my tears well up behind my lashes and I need a moment to sob and harangue and beg and scream at the universe, I can. But the spaces in between count, as well.

These cards come from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - Ten of Wands, King Of Pentacles, Ten of Cups

2011-08-22T05:59:00.016-06:00

These cards today are illustrating my sickness. While I battle with my wayward stomach, my house is burning around me, little fires that add up, like laundry and dishes sitting on the counter while I do not feel good enough to drag myself around to get to it, and the burden weighs heavily on me, as we can see in the Ten of Wands. The King of Pentacles tends to be The Man in my readings, and look, he is sweeping in to pick up the pieces for me and to ensure our home remains happy and peaceful while I recover, which keeps us all Ten of Cups feeling, lovey dovey. He deserves some major props, because this weekend he got our basement cleared out, with the help of two of the kidtauplets, and shampooed all our carpets. Let me tell you, I thought there was nothing sexier than a man with a vacuum before, but now I know there is- a man with a steam carpet cleaner! My house smells fresh and clean and the floors look great! Thank you, sugar!

These cards are form the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Monday Majors- Theme for the Week: The Star

2011-08-22T00:00:00.031-06:00

My theme for the week, according to the Major Arcana is The Star, a beautiful card that symbolizes eternal hope and healing close at hand. When we wonder if the light at the end of the tunnel is the end, or another oncoming train, The Star is what we are hoping to see.

The Star can be a mixed bag kind of card, though, as much as we'd like to don the rose colored glasses and say it ain't so. There is hope and healing there, for sure, but it may not be quite as quickly coming as we want, especially when we are in pain. Stars are distant and far away, not immediate and fervent like The Sun. The Latin on this particular card translates to, "All things clean to the clean" which insinuates, to me at least, that perhaps the seeming help and hope she offers is not quite as free as we would like to believe. There is some work to be done by us.

There is also the element of wishing on a star, and the way that thinking could leave us disempowered, as if we are not in fact in control of our destiny. And, although we are coming out of the night time circuit of cards that the Wheel of Fortune may have spit us out into, we are not out of the woods yet. The Star is one card before the madness of The Moon, and her fractured light is shining on the ruins of The Tower. She is literally between a rock and a hard place, and while that is the eye of the storm and we can be grateful for her respite, we still have miles to go in a dark place to get to The Sun, and our demons to face. She does not promise to see us safely, just gives us hope for the possibility.

Update: August 29, 2011- The Star manifested herself in my life this week in much way the way I had anticipated. There has been lots of promise for hope and healing, but it is far off and not free for the taking. No wishing on a Star is going to get me and mine where we want to be, but that is just fine with me. "The longer I live the more I believe you do have to give if you wanna receive..." ~John Michael Montgomery, Life's A Dance.

The Star has graced my Daily Draws for the week with her gentle presence and sweet, light pressure to keep on going, to never give up faith, to never feel alone, and for that I am grateful.

This card is from the Tarot of Durer by Lo Scarabeo.

Sunday Showcase- Sakki Sakki Tarot

2011-08-21T14:10:00.019-06:00

This is a weekend for big, bold colors for me, as today I feature the Sakki Sakki Tarot by Monicka Clio Sakki, and available at her website, although in a limited run, so who knows how long that will last. Do not mistake that Artist card for the Fool, because it is not. The book, Playing with Symbols by the artist with Carol Anne Buckley, is a pretty darn good tarot book in its' own right, even separated from the deck. The book also explains why some of the figures are headless.

This is not the first deck I think to reach for, but it's quirky, fun energy, and outstanding companion book, make it a keeper in my collection, as I feel it adds something to tarot that makes it different than before the deck made its' appearance.

If you like your colors and art large and in charge, if you like to play with symbols, which is what I feel the basis of tarot learning is, then you may like this deck!

These cards are from the Sakki Sakki Tarot by Monicka Clio Sakki and available at her website.

Daily Draw - Knight of Cups, Seven of Cups, Knight of Pentacles

2011-08-21T07:01:00.005-06:00

These cards make me chuckle as I watch the Knight of Cups get the hell out of dodge. He DOES NOT want whatever that naked lady in the Seven of Cups is selling and is gonna be pretty clear on that. This makes me think he is a big talker and when push comes to shove he just does not have the cojones to see it all through. I can imagine the Knight of Pentacles looking on stoically, but I"ll bet he is grinning sarcastically on the inside. He is not a flighty Knight; he has what to takes to make the hard choices and then see them through.

For me, today, these cards bring a message about standing and facing what scares us, even when we have to choose and it seems there is no good one to make. At the very least, the Knight of Pentacles can defend his ground, while the fleeing Knight of Cups has left his rear exposed and in perfect shot distance.

Update: As I look at these cards now, I wonder what the hell the Knight of Cups thinks he is getting away with as he jets off with one of her cups. He took the empty one anyway, as is his karma for being a stinky thief. Some punk little neighborhood kids broke into my car, although I just leave it unlocked and devoid of anything of interest since I can't afford any new windows at the moment. They took my gum, though, and I felt skeevy in my car. It sucks that I have to make a choice between the rifling through of my stuff and a broken window, but maybe the Colorado Make My Day law extends to vehicles? In any case, I made the pragmatic (Knight of Pentacles) choice, although I didn't like it (Seven of Cups) to leave the doors unlocked, which made it easier for the thieves to abscond with my gum, which while basically worthless still bothers me (Knight of Cups). I am still hoping for them to get shot in the butt, though. I'm not that enlightened.

These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

Deck Review - Paulina Tarot

2011-08-20T12:03:00.067-06:00

Charming, fae, sweet... These are all words that have been used to describe the Paulina Tarot, drawn by Paulina Cassidy and published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. and they are all true, but there is more to this deck than just that.

My account at Amazon tells me I have had this deck since March of 2009, and I instantly bought one for my aunt, a budding collector and reader in her own right, because I found it so adorable and the colors so lively, which should speak highly of the deck, but it had never made its' way into my regular reading rotation until recently.

Before I took the deck and and actually began to read with it I believed that the images, while charming and gorgeous, were too similar, too samey-samey to offer good readings. I purchased some prints for my daughter's room, leafed through the cards occasionally, but that was it. I now know better. This surprising little deck is not just fairies and pretty things. It's sweet exterior hides a tough core and some sharp little teeth.

This charming reading, including the Magician, the Ten of Swords, and the Tower, heralded the onset of one of my worst anxiety attacks to date, and then my husband went in for an emergency surgery.

But I can't hate a deck that was just telling me like it is, nor one that has my all time favorite Hierophant card, which is an oft maligned card that should be about our connection to God and where we all find divinity, whether that looks the same or not, and it should be a card that offers wise and good counsel, and encourages to follow our own traditions. Unfortunately, it often becomes a card that becomes about our disappointments and discomfort with organized religion and authority figures. I feel this image goes far towards salving those wounds.

The Paulina Tarot is a 78 card deck that features standard Major Arcana, with Strength at 8 and Justice at 11. The Court Cards are Page, Knight, Queen, and King, and the suits are the standard Wands, Cups, Swords, Pentacles, so no surprises there. It is based on the Colman Smith deck, but not enslaved to it. There are lots of quirks to this deck that make its' voice unique, and the colors are gorgeous. For intuitive readers, there are plenty of symbols to grab a hold of to read, and lots of play between the colors. The cards interact and have a great storytelling ability to them. The packaging includes a tuck box and Little White Book, and the cards have been printed in China on lovely stock without a hint of shine to it, and the cards themselves are a good size at 2.75" x 4.75". I am a huge fan of the U.S. Games decks that have been printed in China, as the card stock is divine and the colors are lovely, as well as being less pixelated. (If anyone from U.S. Games is reading this, can we get a Hermetic from China, pretty pretty please?)

My experience with the deck has been that the readings are straight forward and really hold no punches. If you are going to ask the Paulina a question, you had better be sure you want to hear the answer! I also found my biggest concern, that the images may not be distinct enough to offer good readings, was entirely unfounded. This deck positively sang in my hands, and I had no head scratching moments with it at all.

I feel people to new to tarot would enjoy this deck, and the images are not scary at all, with no nudity or violence. I feel experienced readers with a leaning toward whimsy or fanciful, somewhat fussy fae will enjoy the imagery, and intuitive readers that like to have many things to work with on the card should enjoy the expressive pictures as well.

These images are from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - The Empress, Queen of Wands, Temperance

2011-08-20T05:50:00.004-06:00

Today these cards, the passionate Queen of Wands sandwiched between two Majors, want to talk to me, like this whole deck has seemed to this week, about my creative life. Temperance is also a card of doing, like the Emperor of yesterday, and she is actively managing her life, so that the Queen of Wands is free to be passionate about the way her garden grows, with the help of the Empress.

I feel like garbage, physcially, so I don't have lots to write, but I get it. I feel too sick to do much about it, but I get it. The advice of the lady Arcana in this reading for me is to nurture myself, and get with the program, doing what I know I need to in order to feel better.

These cards come from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Saturday Showcase- Phoenix Tarot

2011-08-20T00:03:00.008-06:00

The Italian Phoenix Tarot, by Paola Angelotti is a deck I have to take in small doses. The colors are incredibly vibrant, and the line art is simple yet striking. Something about these cards causes me to have a visceral reaction, almost making me dizzy at times, and causing me to fall straight into the artwork.

The cards are large, 3.25" x 4.75" and printed on a non glossy, fairly stiff stock. They are labeled in Italian, with the Fool being 22, and the Minor Arcana being pip cards.

This deck is self published and I am not sure where you could find one, but the good folk at Tarot Garden are amazing with finding things we think we unfindable. They have a knack!

These images are from the second edition of the Phoenix Tarot of Paola Angelotti.

Daily Draw - Nine of Swords, The Emperor, Ace of Wands

2011-08-19T15:50:00.001-06:00

These cards speak a fairly clear story to me today.

The order that the Emperor is capable of bringing out of the chaos of my Nine of Swords anxiety will free the creativity of the Ace of Wands.

This is a powerful message for me today because I just decided to run my life a little differently than I have been to this point. My schedule is loose and free flowing, generally, and as much as I enjoy that kind of schedule, it may not be the best way for me to be productive. So this week I had a firm "butt in chair at 9 am" policy that has worked quite well. I managed to get my exercise and breakfast in before, though I am still in pjs now at 3:30 pm. Clearly my dressing routine needs a bit of refinement, but writing is happening, tarot readings are happening, and while my family is my first priority, these run a close second.

Like many people, I struggle against what I perceive as the stricture of the Emperor, but there is a reason to impose order, at times, and I am beginning to realize it more and more. Of course no one wants to be manhandled by an iron fisted fascist, but there is more to this guy than that. In this reading, he is the gatekeeper, dividing me against myself where I need it most, the protector, too.

Update, August 24, 2011: It has been a rough weekend for me. I have developed some weird stomach condition that feels like heartburn or acid reflux, and I NEVER have had that before so figuring out what it felt like was step one, but it is constant so it can't be that, either. I am working on figuring it out and started a whole body cleanse because I think married life has wreaked havoc with my previously pretty good diet of very little processed food and lots of grains and plants. The big worry on the brain is getting to the Bay Area Tarot Symposium, which I am to leave for in a couple days and being well so that I can learn lots of tarot things and enjoy a mini vacation with The Man and my friend.

These cards are from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - The Hermit, Eight of Swords, The Magician

2011-08-18T05:31:00.001-06:00

The words I heard when I looked at this draw were, "The way forward is the way back, at times." Great, now I am talking to myself in cryptic riddles.

I am gonna leave this reading to percolate a bit, and let the images work on my mind, and let my inner Gandalf express himself in a way that leaves me with actual words to write on my posts. This probably requires role play of some sort.

Update: To me, the figures look as if they are forming a unit, though not necessarily a cohesive one. The Eight of Swords denizen appears to me to be turning away from the Hermit, as if the Hermit is herding her somewhere she doesn't want to be, and seems to be entreating the Magician for help, who is coming forth to give it.

I am having a hard time today fulfilling my personal obligations to myself, because the deep introspection I am asking of myself is making me see things about myself I don't necessarily want to, so I have been willfully turning away. The Shadow has to be treated gently, because above all else it is self preserving. The Magician could cut those bonds we see in the Eight of Swords, but it may not quite be time for that, for me. I may need to struggle against them a little longer.

The Magician makes me think of doing, and one of the things I do that makes me feel better is walk. I don't mean stroll leisurely, but walk so hard and fast it is very nearly running, and I huff and I puff, and my mind works and works, and then, at the sweetest moment, it goes blank, empty and peaceful. This Magician certainly appears to be on a mission, and so in addition to Morning Pages and meditation, I commit myself again to a pounding, cleansing walk every day, too. It certainly couldn't hurt anything.

These cards are from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - The Lovers, Queen of Wands, Three of Wands

2011-08-17T05:40:00.007-06:00

The cards for today want to affirm for me that I have made the right choice, as the Lovers is often a card about choices, to pursue with passion and diligence, Queen of Wands, the idea that came to me for a creative project that wants to be born, Three of Wands. Just to be sure I understood what was being said, the Knight of Cups appeared at the bottom of the deck for my shuffle, to let me know that it's okay to dream, and dream big.

The Lovers cruise blithely through the air, entering the Queen's garden, where she is master of all that surrounds her, like that giant cat who could easily rip her to shreds, but she is fearless in confidence, which reminds me to go forth boldly and conquer what fears I may face, because that is the only way through them. The Three of Wands makes his third appearance for the week, and I believe he is here to say, "Yes, this is why I keep hanging around." plus to remind me to keep my other projects going as well. Dreams are we need to sustain our souls, the Knight of Cups counsels from the bottom, but this project is going to be a long one and may pay very well, but not for a long time, so better to keep my other things going as well, in tangent. All these Wands this week are telling me if I make the commitment to show up, I will be given the creative energy I need to complete these projects, which is deep reassurance indeed.

These cards are from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Gods and Titans Talkin' Sweet

2011-08-17T00:15:00.058-06:00

I'm excited about the prospect of my new project, like excited enough to feel butterflies, so I asked the Gods and Titans to tell me what I could expect from undertaking my new project. The first card is a potential obstacle, represented by Eros, the second the way through that obstacle, Loki, and the third the end result, Green Man.

I can see Love being a great potential inhibitor of this project, because I am so crazy in love with the idea, which is a very necessary component to any large creative project. I need to feel ferocious love for it in order to have the energy to see it through, but much like a marriage, you are not always crazy in love with your projects and your commitment to seeing it complete is what takes you through that hard time with it. I can also see myself not being as rational about the project as I may need to be, because any criticism could shut me down. Love is a strong force, but in order to love we leave ourselves exposed. I need this love to make me strong, not break me down.

The way through the obstacle that Eros is presenting me is Loki, who is a hard god to get a handle on, and probably should be. The classic trickster, though, had the knack of not taking himself too seriously while remaining deadly intent on his goal at all times. Although the work I would like to undertake is scholarly, it also has amazing potential for entertainment value, and while I can certainly study with the best of them, my writing style lends itself better to a novel than a scholarly treatise. I think I will maintain the integrity of my work and stay more true to my own voice by keeping this in mind and keeping a commitment to only do me.

The end result, if I have read the cards right and followed their advice, is the Abundance of the Green Man, the energy of growth and prosperity. Prosperity is not only about financial matters, though it is a much easier thing to feel prosperous when you can afford a bottle of wine with dinner and a new tarot deck every now and then, but about the way we feel about ourselves and how content with our lives we are. Successfully completing this project would, at the very least, bring me the deep satisfaction of knowing I could do it, and I believe also has great potential to be a financial success as well. Just the shift in consciousness, where I think of myself as an author and somewhat expert in my field, as opposed to a dabbling writer and amateur, is likely to change my life in myriad ways, not least of which the way I present myself and my work.

I have a good, contented feeling from these cards and this reading, and I feel ready to take this project on.

These cards are from the Gods and Titans by Stacy DeMarco and Jimmy Manton for Blue Angel Publishing.

Daily Draw - Three of Wands, Two of Swords, Four of Cups

2011-08-16T05:51:00.026-06:00

Here's that Three of Wands again, because I just must not have quite got it yesterday, now paired with the Two of Swords and the Four of Cups. I think this card combination today means that I will be exploring my creativity deeper, but no clear good choice will arise, and I will feel discontented with whatever I do decide on. The stance of the figure in the Two of Swords makes me think she would like nothing as well as to to swing those swords outwards and knock the smug Three of Wands the complacent Four of Cups right off their retrospective towers, and maybe that will be exactly what will happen. The Nine of Swords had to make a shadowy appearance, just to make sure I understood that I could face a great deal of anxiety about this choice, and when it finally does come due may have a hard time trusting in what I have decided. This is actually a comforting card for me, because it signals my anxiety, and anxiety is a liar. I know this.

Update: I now know what these cards and yesterday's refer to- I have had what I think is an amazing idea for what to write, but it will take a lot of work, research, and dedication. I have no real idea what I am getting into, which is the blindness of the Two of Swords, and I do not really want the tedium of the amount of work it will require, seen in the Four of Cups, but the creativity in the Three of Wands demands it. Nervous, excited, and preparing for a long haul...

These cards are from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Tea Leaf Tuesday - August 16, 2011

2011-08-16T00:52:00.026-06:00

Looks like a mixed bag week coming up!

Well, new opportunities are always nice to have, and I love the thought of walking through an archway into such an open garden. With five kids going back to school and a trip to San Francisco coming up, of course we are in a financial pinch, so no surprise there. We like pasta and I have decks to last me into the apocalypse, so no real worries. I'll look forward to a romantic celebration, which makes sense because since we can't agree what the true anniversary is we get to celebrate all of the ones in dispute. No arguments here! (Once the wedding anniversary rolls around I suppose I shall have to settle for just the one...) There already is some family sorrow, sorry to say, and I can see where it may intensify over the coming week, so while I don't look forward to that it's part and parcel of the package of loving other people. I feel vaguely uneasy about the karma card, reaping what you have sown, but I try to only sow good things, so it shouldn't be painful, and may actually be good, and although I do not want any wedges, I am confident in my ability to handle any that may pop up, and above all soars that Eagle card, with the promise of triumph over our troubles.

I shall be back to update next week!

Update, August 23, 2011: Well, I definitely had a new opportunity open up, in the form of a MASSIVE writing project I have undertaken. It really is huge. I have had offers of, and probably need, a research assistant. As I guessed, the kidtauplets school stuff was a small fortune, and The Man's surgery bills came in, not such a small fortune. We will definitely be running a much tighter ship while we deal with those. We had a great weekend, bowling with friends, and with two of the five kiddos hanging out with us and working hard. The family sorrow probably comes from one of them not being able to join us, due to his own choices, and we felt the sting of that. We also missed Miss Thang, the girl child, as it was her weekend with her dad. My ever sweet husband keeps surprising me with little tasty treats and romantic text message notes. It's cute. I'm smitten. I do not know who would be trying to drive a wedge anywhere in my life, or if I do I can't say it on a public forum, and I am not worried about it at all, because I have finally learned the trick of surrounding myself with good people. I have my family, both the blood one, the married one, and the ones I have chosen, and every other little ol' thing ain't nothing to me.

I think the karma thing has to do with my poor choices in diet and exercise in recent months and how they are coming back as backlash now. I have developed a painful stomach condition that I guess feels like acid reflux or heartburn, but it is constant. The only time I ever had heartburn was at the end of pregnancy, so this is new. I used to eat very little processed food and was quite active, but becoming a full time writer and tarot reader as opposed to a busy waitress has cut my activity level down quite a bit and I have to make an effort to get a workout in whereas before it was just part of my regular day. I have also modified my diet and that of my kids to better fit in with what The Man and the stepsons are used to, but their diet sucks and now they are going to have to get used to mine, haha! I have started a full body cleanse and cleansing diet, and this morning I felt much improved, so I went for a long walk and did some yoga. I am committed to reverting to my better eating ways and getting that yoga and walk in, at a minimum, every day. This is also good for my mental health. I will also get to the swimming pool and Zumba classes at least twice a week, so I should be better in quick order!

These cards are from the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn.

Daily Draw - Three of Wands, The Moon, Page of Wands

2011-08-15T06:20:00.050-06:00

The precarious balance of the first card, the Three of Wands, shows I can go either direction right now, and I am not yet done with the energy of the Moon, which is where I need to delve in order to reach the bright energy the Page of Wands exudes.

The combination of the Three of Wands with the Moon speaks of exploring the depths of the Moons' landscape, and the exuberant Page of Wands suggests that it doesn't have to be quite as murky as I have been making it. I have pulled the Moon over and over and over since March, and honestly still have no idea exactly what it means and why, but the card was kind enough to defer to the Lovers as my Monday Majors pull earlier today, and the fiery cards flanking it today suggest that I may be able to burn up the watery Moon energy with the advice of the Wands surrounding it. The Moon is a lovely card, and one I enjoy, but I am ready for something new in my life.

My work is all creative work, reading tarot, writing fiction, being a mom, all of that is creative work, and the Three of Wands is a card about preparation and putting energy into our creative endeavors, and the Moon is card that insists we follow our intuition. When I relate this combination back to my theme card of the week, the Lovers, I need to pay close attention to my feelings in order to know where to put my creative energy, because I have so many different things pulling on me at the moment. I see the young Page of Wands here because I am just not sure what I should be doing, and I am learning all manner of things at the moment, all of which seems so important, but I am not just a little overwhelmed. The Moon says I have to walk on faith, not always being able to see the next clear step, but the Wands cards are ready to light the path once I take those first steps.

Update: This draw is totally connected to the one for today, separated by a day, and I know what the cards were saying. I had some creative ideas bubbling around in my head that came to a boil in my sleep (the Moon), in a dream, in which I realized the project I want to write most of all, and I realized it was kind of a big deal, a TON of research involved, but I think there is nothing else like it and will be so worthy, which at the very least would would be my ships coming in artistically (traditional Rider Waite Smith imagery of the three of Wands) and would have me an exuberant student all over again (Page of Wands). Tarot is so cool!

These cards come from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Monday Majors- Theme for the Week: The Lovers

2011-08-15T00:13:00.024-06:00

I almost fell down and said a little prayer of thanks when I pulled my Major card for my theme of the week and it was not the goddess forsaken Moon. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It is a lovely card, and clearly full of messages for me, but I really am ready for a break.

So, we are at the Lovers, and this card is a beautiful rendition of it. The couple is whisked away on the wings on a snow white creature, completely trusting the driver, and why shouldn't they? When we love this ferociously, we tend to be oblivious to the rest of the world around us.

Of course, with the Lovers, the first thing that comes to mind is our romantic relationships, and I will try to remember to be extra good to The Man this week, who is always so good to me.

The second thing the Lovers advocates is choice, and when one arises, to follow the one that makes your heart sing like a lover, when all is going well. I will spend this paying attention to what inspires that ecstasy in me and what I truly love, and thusly look for clues as to where my time is best spent.

This card is from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - Queen of Pentacles, The Magician, The Tower

2011-08-14T06:25:00.056-06:00

Now we move on to the Paulina Tarot, charmingly wrought by Paulina Cassidy, and brought to us by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

The Queen of Pentacles is usually me, so I am glad to see her hanging around today. The Magician, that can be me, too. The Queen glances over rather conspiratorially at the Magician, who has her back turned away from the calamity of the Tower. Those first two cards have something up their sleeves, and they want nothing to do with the third card, the Tower. Which, coincidentally, neither do I.

I believe these cards are a warning to me today, which is if I do not want to encounter any Tower moments I would wisely emulate the responsible and earthy Queen of Pentacles. I will deal with my housework before playing, and get everything set up for Monday morning kids' things to do. The Magician is the great intercessory between the worlds, and works with all the elements, so if for some reason I am not able to avoid any Tower moments through diligence and care, I should be able to assimilate them through my own belief in my ability to so, which is actually a quite empowering thought. The Magician, le Bateleur in the more tricksy Marseilles incarnation, has an air of getting something over on someone, almost as if I play my cards right, proscribe the "proper" household rituals, I can avoid the upheaval of the Tower. I may just leaave out a bowl of milk for any faeries hovering about today.

Update: I know what these cards wanted to tell me now. When I let myself, the Queen of Pentacles, lose my self confidence, signified by the Magician, I have a lot of upheaval in my sense of security, shown by the Tower. I did it right, though, by being able to recognize what was going on pretty quickly and changing my words, which changed my mindset before a total collapse came, so I am beyond grateful for the heads up from my cards.

These images are from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Sunday Showcase- Surrealist Tarot

2011-08-14T00:34:00.041-06:00

Today's showcase deck is the Surrealist Tarot by Ari Bach, who you can visit on facebook or at Tarotsmith.

I adore black and white decks, and this one definitely fits the bill! It has been self published and came to me all the way from Singapore. It is definitely not a traditional tarot, and it is not aiming to be, either, so hold on loosely and take a ride. The cards themselves are playing card size, and the images show up quite well even at that smaller size. It seems to be a deck with a sarcastic sense of humor! There are some carsd some people may find disturbing, though I sense they are meant to be more a "black" kind of humor, or the sort of disturbing that makes you think, not just goes for the gross out factor, but all the images are available online and I encourage you to check them out, not just take my word for it.

Can you tell these are naughty cards that do not wish to line up in the scanner properly? They are beautifully printed on lightly laminated card stock, I promise you! I am the one with issues.

These cards come from the Surrealist Tarot by Ari Bach, and can be seen and purchased at Tarotsmith.

Deck Review - Prairie Tarot

2011-08-13T12:08:00.101-06:00

I have spent a contented week working with the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available from his website, and also the awesome folks at Tarot Garden.

I have been dreaming of these cards at night throughout this week, and they have awakened not a little bit of nostalgia, for sourballs and the tobacco and hay smell of my Grampa, his scratchy salt and pepper whiskers and the feel of the fur of my Australian Shepard, Vixen, between my fingers.

I like this deck. I understand these images. I grew up on the eastern plains of Colorado, where green grass dances gracefully in the winds that sweep over the prairie, and the seasons passing can be measured by the fading to yellow color of the sea of grass. We tickled each other with foxtails and searched out pussy willows on the marshy banks of the Platte river. The wind, with nothing to break it up or say it nay as far as the eye can see, caused the snow to drift up over our heads at times, and the branches that reach out to the clear blue sky mark every swimming hole and watering place for miles. We shivered in delight in the gloaming hour, when bats would blot of the twinkling of the first star and the coyotes would call to each other, and look for our kittens to bring them inside where 60 Minutes would come in over the rabbit ears antenna, assuring us we weren't really so far from civilization. The purple mountains' majesty rose in the west, snow capped peaks you could almost reach out and touch, and we all dreamed of cool mountain nights in the shimmering heat of August. There is a song that sings itself over the prairie, and it has nothing to do with the Garth Brooks the radio was lucky enough to pick up from time to time. (Though I DO have friends in low places...)

The Ace of Pentacles is particular favorite card of mine, the sun setting over the splendor of the Rocky Mountains. These are the kinds of colors we get to see every day, folks. Be jealous. Before reading his biography, The Man and I speculated Robin must have been raised in Colorado, because no one does mountains like Colorado. Apparently, Montana comes in pretty close though, as it turns out that is whence the artists' inspiration came. The cards are lively, with a lot of movement and color to them, while maintaining a bit of a melancholy feel with is perfectly evocative of the sometimes lonely life on the prairie.

The deck is in many ways derivative of the famous Pamela Colman Smith deck, but it has been painted by an American, and the iconography is distinctly American. Anyone with a background in tarot, or Americana, should be able to pick this deck up and read it with ease. The images speak gruffly at times, the way cowboys do, and there may be a bit of a twang in their speech, but they are easily understandable.

There are no cards I would find objectionable to read with for anyone, although there is the barest hint of buttocks visible in the Nine of Cups. The Hanged Man does depict a painful looking scene of a Native being strung up, although the ritual involved is a willing sacrifice kind of ritual, and the Ten of Swords features a dead or dying buffalo laying on the grass as a train hurtles past in the distance. This is the kind of waste and horror that the push westward brought, as well as the wonder and amazement, and I feel is fitting to the meaning of the card, but it may disturb some people.

The cards are are glossy and what I think of as standard tarot size, about 2.75" x 4.75", with reversible black backs featuring a gray scale wagon wheel in the center. The colors are soft but saturated, and the deck feels very gender neutral, neither masculine nor feminine, but incorporating the energy of both. The deck comes in a sturdy two part box that will protect it well, with no title cards or booklet. The 79th card is the Jackalope card, the old west's answer to today's Happy Squirrel, maybe. I think that collectors would enjoy having this deck, as well as anyone who waxes nostalgic for the good ol' days. I can see many American readers enjoying the deck, as well as people who have never visited here but are curious about our culture, before television told us what to think and wear. America is a young country, but rich in mythology, and it is a delight to see some transposed onto this very workable deck.

These images are from the Prairie Tarot created by Robin Ator, available here.

Daily Draw - Queen of Swords, Four of Swords, Temperance

2011-08-13T06:56:00.043-06:00

These cards look like the way I parent the kids, the way The Man parents, and the happy balance between them.

I am all Queen of Swords, which is not surprising since I have Libra, the ruler of this Queen, rising in my natal chart. Rising signs are the mask we display to the world, and I struggle to be intensely fair, not least because one of our kids is an intense Libra himself, and he calls every single thing he perceives as "not fair". I also have two stepsons, which is an altogether new experience for me. Kids I am old hat with, but kids that go back to their mama who is likely drilling them for information about how they live here, not so much. I try very hard to give logical consequences, and rewards, to behavior and situations, but I love all of them, to little bitty pieces, which is why I think we see the watery Queen here rather than a harsher card.

And it annoys the ever living bejesus out of me that my husband is much more lackadaisical where the kids are concerned, much like it looks like the Queen of Swords is brandishing her sword at the relaxed fellow in the Four of Swords. I want my home in order and he wants to snooze. Grrrr...

The last card, Temperance, speaks of how both elements are necessary to blending a happy family, how we are probably a good combination as parents, that I shore him up where he is weak, and he does the same for me, how our strengths complement each other, too. I often think of temperance as the active management of our lives, the things we do to make it better, and this card illustrates it nicely with the chemist mixing up his draught. (Is it wrong to hope it's a sleeping draught for kids?) I also see keeping the kiddos busy as a great way to avoid conflict, because if they are too busy to fight then they become to tired to fight and no fighting over inane stuff makes me a happy mom. And you know what they say...

And so concludes my very pleasant week with the Prairie Tarot.

These cards are from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Saturday Showcase- The 7th World Tarot Deck

2011-08-13T00:56:00.045-06:00

I am achingly aware that I have many, many tarot decks, more than I am ever going to be able to use in my lifetime, so many of them are just here for my own personal delight. I very much enjoy the exercise of using each deck for a week, but if I stopped obtaining decks now (fat chance) it would take me about twelve years to use each one for a week on this blog, but they deserve to be seen!

The 7th World Tarot Deck, created by Australian artist Terry Whidborne is my feature for the day, and it is beautiful! I am reminded of Alice in Wonderland, but under his own direction. The Seventh World website is full of all manners of curious, quirky, and engaging art. The deck itself is printed on sublime card stock, and so much fun to look at. My only quibble, which is a matter of personal preference only, is the unillustrated pip cards, in the Marseilles tradition.

Nisaba Merrieweather has written a review about the deck here, and J. Dev has also written a review here. One day I hope to add to their body of work, but go on over and see what they think after you take in these beautiful images!

These images were created by Terry Whidborne at The Seventh World. Visit his web home here.

Daily Draw - Nine of Cups, Strength, Knight of Cups

2011-08-12T06:41:00.035-06:00

The satisfaction we see in the Nine of Cups is what I feel on these Fridays, which we call "kid weekends" in our house, when all the kidtauplets make their way here (Every other weekend we don't have a name for, but there is nobody here but us chickens then. It's quiet, and good for us to have time just for us, but sometimes we don't know what to do with ourselves without the kids. At least I don't. I suspect The Man has some rather good ideas what to do with Himself, but dads tend to be different.)

So the kids all gather round the homestead, and I am happy and content with my little family, enjoying everyone's company. Except that, five kids give us five different personalities to get to interact smoothly, and have to referee at times. The Man likens it to herding cats, and the woman in the middle might be trying to do just that in the Strength card. The Knight of Cups, he is turning away from all this hullabaloo, offering up a cup where you might expect a cowboy to be the one with a lasso, and I believe that is my advice for this weekend with the kidtauplets: Enjoy them, enjoy the family time, be patient and gentle, but when it gets to be too much, it's okay to take a break, to retreat to my quiet place. That may be the only way to stay sane.

The Nine of Cups, and the Knight of Cups with his offering, first brought to mind the phrase, "Mommy drinks because you cry." and I think that is hilarious, but I don't need anyone calling any social workers on me. The lady in the Strength card also looks as though she might be trying to rope the picture of the lascivious lady in the Nine of Cups, who has her back turned to all of us. The romantic Knight of Cups also has his back turned to the whole situation, so that makes me think of how, when we have that many kids at a time, it's hard for us to either find the time and privacy, or muster up the inclination, to be terribly romantic with each other, because kids really are effective birth control. Sunday evening is always a reconnecting time, and as much as I adore the children and want them around, I also adore my husband and realize that once we are done raising these children there will be just us, and staying connected and maintaining a relationship that is not just about being parents is important.

These images come from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Daily Draw - Two of Cups, Hanged Man, Seven of Swords

2011-08-11T06:16:00.039-06:00

The things we do for love...

When we make a sacred agreement we think we mean it in the moment. We probably do. Sometimes that agreement includes the words, "For better or for worse" when what we usually mean is "For as long as you still satisfy me sexually and we don't have any money troubles and I feel safe and secure and we don't argue and our kids are perfect angels and no one better looking or with more money comes along". But then one or more of those things don't happen, and what do we do?

These cards to me look like when push comes to shove after our word has been given, what do we do? Tough it out, nailed to the letter of our word, no matter the price, or slinking off into distance, telling ourselves whatever we need to hear to make our betrayal palatable to our own tastes? And is there anything in between those two extremes when we find promises are more easily given than kept?

These cards, in that interpretation, aren't about me and my marriage, at least not today. We are crazy happy together, warts and all. But I have not always been real successful at the through thick and thin part of any relationship. They are a glimpse at what could be, though, and a reminder to myself that in every moment I get to choose who I am, how I react, where I go, and how I comport myself.

Update: These cards ended up being not about my marriage today, but another intense and love filled relationship, in which I had to make a really hard choice, one that hurt me deeply, and will for a long time, and one which the other person who is in the relationship likely feels is an act of betrayal. It wasn't, it was intense love, although of the tough variety, and I hope that it looks like that when we come out on the other side of this.

These cards are from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Gods and Titans Speak Out

2011-08-11T00:08:00.016-06:00

Gods, you see, are not as close lipped as goddesses. no pussy footing around with these fellows. So I asked a direct question and I got a direct answer. Most refreshing.

What do I need to do in order to succeed?

Vishnu- Balance, Hypnos- Sleep, Jade Emperor- Organization

I need balance in my life, and I know that. I need both balance in managing the day to day details, and I need to recognize that gray is a far more common shading than black or white. Vishnu is the Preserver, and so preservation and balance are intricately linked in this card. He is also the lover of Lakshmi, goddess of prosperity, so they are closely attuned as well.

Hypnos, born of Nix, brother of Thanatos, grants a sweeter and shorter respite than his brother, when we are lucky. I often stay up late, seeking to extend the time I get to spend with my husband, reading late into the evening and well into the morning, usually, and when I do sleep I have nightmares as often as not, really vivid ones, really disturbing ones. Balance will likely lead to better sleep, which is the basis for all really good days.

And then the Jade Emperor urges me to clean up and get organized. I have been writing with a vengeance for the past several days, which is good, but I have been doing so at the kitchen table or on my bed because my desk is covered with papers and kid stuff. I don't need cards to tell me that cleaning it up will give me peace of mind.

This is sage advice, straight forward and simple, but like most simple things, maybe not very easy to implement. But we do what we can, when we can, and that is how it goes.

These cards are from the Gods and Titans set by Stacy DeMarco and James Manton, who you can visit here.

Fiddling With Cards

2011-08-10T20:54:00.000-06:00

I was idling shuffling, which I do pretty much all the time my hands are not actively engaged with some other activity, and I decided to flip a card over. The Page of Swords is the card that always represents my oldest son, so I decided to shuffle some more and flip again. The Nine of Swords. Worry so bad it makes you stay up at night. Shuffle shuffle flip... The Queen of Pentacles. That is usually me in my readings. I didn't ask any question, so the cards reflected my most intense emotion at the moment- worry for the kid. The young man is facing the Nine of Swords, all nine of which are pointing at me. He knows he is causing me a lot of heartache and trauma. At the moment, it hurts me more than it does him. I wish for his whole life I could bear the brunt of his hurt, too, so I am not even mad about it. But his life is his to lead, and mine is mine, and the older a child gets the less a parent can, or should, take on for them. A good parent will work themselves out of a job, and one of my hardest struggles right now is knowing when to let go, and when to hold on tight.

So then I asked, "What is he feeling, then?"

The Fool, Six of Cups, Five of Cups

He is turning away from what he sees as childish things, ready to follow his own path, and very possibly going to fall right onto that ravine. He is sad about it, though, and looks back on the childhood days with nostalgia and a little regret.

There is nothing I would take to go back in time and relive my teenage years. Poor guy.

These images come from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Daily Draw - Two of Pentacles, Eight of Wands, Six of Pentacles

2011-08-10T06:43:00.042-06:00

Uuuuuggggghhh... there are no words for how deeply I despise this Two of Pentacles card. Enough that had I seen it in the deck before it came home to me, I might have forgone the whole shebang. It's not really the card's fault, just that I am THAT terrified of snakes.

But, even so, the cards are pretty clear in their message. Look at all those pencils as Wands! That is writing, isn't it, and writing fast! I often see the Two of Pentacles as managing our day to day affairs, and I think my absolute biggest nightmare in this card shows me how overwhelming I find all the day to day details, and how, like if I saw a snake, I just run and hide from them. (One of my longtime friends posted on facebook about seeing a little snake slither across his floor behind the stove the other day, in his newly moved into house. I told him to thank his lucky stars he had his wife and not me because I would have insisted on him packing right back up and moving out again. I would have been at a nice, clean, cool, snake free hotel. It's THAT bad for me.) Attending to my life's little details leaves me free to concentrate on my writing, but conversely, worrying about doing them takes up a lot of time and creative energy that should be going into writing. I think that is the message in the scary Two of Pentacles card for me.

Now the Six of Pentacles, showing up on the right side of the spread, mirrors the Six of Wands from yesterday, but on the other side. The gentleman is calmer now, not under the frantic need to get through the next obstacle, and in a place where he can strike a deal with confidence and assurance. The thing about the Six of Pentacles is sometimes you are the giver and sometimes you have to receive graciously.

In a nutshell, this reading says to face my fears, deal with my life, but not drown in the details of my life, write furiously, and then reap the rewards. I like this reading.

These images are from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Tea Leaf Tuesday - August 9, 2011

2011-08-09T11:49:00.003-06:00

I am going to be honest with you all again. I stopped doing my Tea Leaf Fortune Card readings because I did not like the readings I was getting. They were, for lack of a better word, icky. Now this could be because my life in general was kinda icky then, or it could be that I was getting legitimate warnings, but I don't like feeling icky and generally go to great lengths to avoid it, and not using the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards was an easy way to do so. I realize this is nonsensical in many ways, because forewarned is forearmed, but I never claimed to be the most completely logical being on the planet. I mean, I'm a tarot reader. I write fantasy fiction. You had to know what you were getting into by reading this blog, right?

This weeks cards, though, are some cards I can get down with. Honor and respect! Excitement! A dark haired woman! Risk! Happiness! Reward! And... a new job or a raise! The neutral cards, Dark Woman and Tiger, are all surrounded by lovely cards, with promises of great things.

My prediction is that the job I have been interviewing for will start this week, depsite my difficulties with one of the interviewers, who may be the dark haired woman. This is a great job situation for me as it will bring in steady, dependable income while allowing me to pursue tarot and writing, school, and of course allowing me to keep my schedule flexible, which is the most important thing to me in a job, because my family ALWAYS comes first. It's a job doing what I love, and while I would absolutely do it for free, these kidtauplets do not buy their own food and school clothes, ya know?

We'll have to come back next week and see how accurate these cards were for me. Cross your fingers and send me lots of good energy, please!

Update August 16, 2011: Well, no progress on the job front, at least not the one I was hoping for, which probably means nothing good in that regard, but I was offered a waitressing job, which I do not want, however. Not to look a gift job in the mouth, but I am too old and decrepit for waiting tables now haha. There was lots of excitement, with the boys and their Magic: The Gathering tournament, and the antics of The Floppy Haired One. I am totally, utterly happy with life right now, even though it is not all perfect, and The Man gave me a sweet surprise in telling me one particularly low feeling day EVERY good thing he could think of about me, and it was a long list, bless his pure, sweet heart, which was honor and respect, as well as recognition. Accurate, I would say, though not necessarily in all the ways I would have hoped for. That's okay though. I'll take what I can get.

The Tea Leaf Fortune cards by Rae Hepburn are currently out of print, but there are rumors they will be reprinted by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. in the near future.

Daily Draw - Six of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Ace of Swords

2011-08-09T06:05:00.057-06:00

These cards today are addressing my money issues, or more likely, my scarcity thinking issues, that I first began to talk about on Sunday. The Four of Pentacles is back for a repeat performance with some more cards that just don't believe his nay saying. The flanking Six of Wands and Ace of Swords look like they are about to pull a bank robbery and make a quick getaway. The Six of Wands speaks victory, and confidence even in the face of adversity. The Ace of Swords is ready to bust open the lock on the chest the man is guarding so closely. Whatever is in there, it is something I must have. It is vital to my quest.

What is it? What is in there that he keeps from me, that I need? A Jackalope... Really? A mythical creature. WTF am I supposed to do with that?

Maybe what I am supposed to do is believe, to have faith, which is the absolute belief in something untouchable, unseeable, unprovable, not completely knowable.

And probably, since fantastical fiction is my genre of choice, maybe I should be writing some of those things myself, huh? I do not necessarily write in a world that would have a jackalope, but I can certainly envision many other far fetched creatures that belong there.

So, I think these cards today are addressing a specific concern, which is causing me to not put forth my best writing effort, be stingy even, as shown in the Four of Pentacles. I am so worried about making money doing what I love that I am very possibly blocking myself from doing so.

These images are from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Monday Majors- Theme for the Week: The Moon (Again)

2011-08-08T08:28:00.002-06:00

So, um, I have a confession to make, something to tell you all. It's kinda weird, and I have no way to prove it as I gave up trying to write about about months ago. But every single Monday, at least the ones I have drawn a card for my Monday Majors; I gave up about six weeks in because frankly, I ran out of stuff to say about this biznatch, since March, 21, 2011 I have drawn The Moon. Clearly, The Moon and I have some unfinished business between us.

One of the things that comes to me repeatedly is that I have to listen to my intuition, which I agree with. It's just that my intuition seems to like to tell me random stuff like who is about to call me, and what song will be next on the radio, and what movie is playing at my husband's work on Fridays where they get all kinds of crazy by not just allowing jeans and tee shirts, but putting movies on the screens. (His job makes me sad but I shouldn't knock it too much as I need a new pair of glasses and the insurance is good, and apparently our washing machine just died, and even though I am using the Prairie Tarot this week washing clothes on a washboard is a little more intense channeling than I had in mind. Plus he works so hard, and asks for so little.)

But clearly, if what I am supposed to be doing is developing intuition, I am doing it wrong. March was a long time ago. I am still on the moonlit path, it seems, and have a ways to go.

This moon card comes from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot Second Edition by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studio.

Daily Draw - The World, Seven of Wands, Five of Swords

2011-08-08T06:11:00.021-06:00

When we feel passionately about things is when we become the most dangerous to mess with. I really, really need these cards to just be making a statement about life in general, and not be predictive for me today, because I cannot fight with anyone today. I need peace, I need calm, I need serenity. But sometimes pretending everything is all right is a balancing act that needs to be upset, for the greater good of everyone involved.

Update: I still don't know how these cards related to me today, as it was a quiet little day in my quiet little world. I wrote, I cleaned bathrooms, I took Little Big Man to the skate park. I did a client reading and I made leftovers for dinner. The Man and I cleaned out our cars, then sat companionably together looking at our laptops. All the peace, calm, serenity I begged for when I posted. I did read on facebook that the 9th of Av, today, in kabbalistic teachings, is the worst day. Maybe these cards were for the world at large, standoff fights with no good resolution, precarious balances being upset. I hope it passed well for you all, and prayers and love go out to the United Kingdom, especially the victims and police, and for the misguided rioters as well. They maybe don't deserve love, but they surely need it. Just like me.

These images are from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Daily Draw - The Fool, Four of Pentacles, King of Cups

2011-08-07T18:09:00.000-06:00

It's easier to go your own way, to take risks and follow your dreams off into the sunset when you have taken care of house at home, so to speak. Having a little something something in the bank makes that leap somehow easier. This is my dilemma to face at the moment. I have dreams, big ones, but I don't know to get from where I am to where I wanna be, and the precarious balance of love and money is forcing that issue for me. Then the King of Cups over there laughs, like he just knows it's all gonna be all right, and I am a mess worrying about it all for nothing. God, I hate smug assholes who laugh at me when I am legitimately worried. It's not like I am alone in the world with this worry, either. We all have dreams to follow, and practical concerns that could keep us from them. the trick of it comes in learning how to meet all the day to day details while also being authentically you. I don't have it all down, yet, but I am working on it.

Since I have The Fool and that smug King facing away from the uptight Four of Pentacles, I feel their energy rejects his. There is a kind of scarcity thinking that perpetuates itself when we let it, and the Fool is blithely unaware of the concerns the gruff ol' bear the Four of Pentacles holds, while the King of Cups is a mature gentlemen, so while he is likely aware, he just doesn't seem too concerned. Since he is a trustworthy King, when he is not reflecting my inner smug assholery to me, I can believe him. So I need to be aware of my pennies and where they go, but I also need to have faith that this is a temporary situation, that taking my leaps, that doing what I love, will be the ultimate answer.

God I hope so...

These images come the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

Jacked Up Cards - Three of Swords

2011-06-24T06:05:00.000-06:00

Every tarot reader feels there are some cards you just don't want to see in your readings, whether they are for self or others. The gods be damned Three of Swords is one of them. "Heartbreak!" it screams. "Despair!" Tears are sure to follow, right?

The dark and stormy skies in the traditional tarot image are deeply reflective of the very idea of having "the blues", and Golden Dawn tradition titles the card, "Lord of Sorrow". Heartache is a common keyword assigned to the card, but I argue that is not the best possible one. If this card was about heartbreak, it would most likely be in the watery suit of Cups, most often associated with emotions, or possibly Pentacles, relating to all things of this earth, including our bodies, because most of us are unfortunate enough to know that hearts really can hurt. A card signifying heartache could even be found in the Wands, dealing with our spirits and passions, but this card is found in the suit of Swords, which has to do with thoughts and communications. Threes can be related back to the creative genius of the Empress, so I put forth that this card actually has to do with the way we create our own thoughts, and the deep disappoint we feel when what we thought was true doesn't match up to the reality of what is.

The astrology of the card is Saturn in Libra, according to Mr. Crowley, and others, and Saturn has to do with our life's learning experiences, among other things, while Libra is mainly concerned with how we relate, and above all things, keeping it fair. One of our first life lesson comes at a tender age when we plaintively wail, "But that isn't fair!" to some seemingly uncaring adult, and we all know what their response generally was- "Life isn't fair. Get used to it." True, but harsh words.

By its' very nature, Libra desires to be balanced, but Threes are not balanced. They are the antithesis of balance, the very thing that can upset the careful balance of the Twos and lacking the stabilization of the Fours. Saturn does not mean to be a right ol' bastard, but the fact of the matter is most of us do not learn while everything is going our way, so difficulty and challenge tend to be the things that spur growth. The pairing is not very harmonious, and that brings us to the title of "Sorrow" for this oft-maligned card.

The advice this card offers is to go ahead and face whatever you need to face, because pain and love are alike in some ways- you can't go around it, under, nor over. The only way through is straight and narrow. The gift that can be taken away when this card shows up, and it will, is that we are in control of our thoughts. They may, in fact, be the only thing we are in control of fully, and the way we think about a situation has everything to do with how we experience the situation. That doesn't make it easier when marriages crumble or jobs are lost, or all the tragedies large and small that we all experience happen, but it does make it endurable.

And life always circles around to where we are not just getting by, but celebrating again.

These Three of Swords cards are from the Victorian Romantic Tarot by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studio, the Pamela Colman Smith Commemorative deck, and the Aleister Crowley Thoth Tarot, painted by Lady Frieda Harris, trimmed by me, both for US Games.

Daily Draw - High Priestess, The Devil , Wheel of Fortune

2011-06-22T23:03:00.000-06:00

This is what I started to write when I drew these cards this morning- What these cards make me think about is the private face we all keep hidden, the ways we can't expose ourselves, but what would like to, and the public face we show to the world. The Devil card looks to me like the metamorphosis of the High Priestess, who has donned her armor. That was about as far as I got.

The way these cards played out in my day today was thus- Instead of speaking my truth, I tried to make nice, and I was miserable, which made my honey miserable, and we were all miserable. I did not want to lay myself bare, and it was not simple protection, more like wanting to come across like better than I am. The Wheel goes round and round, but sometimes we do get to decide where we are on it. Today I learned that speaking truth will always put me on the right turn of the Wheel, but denying it is the biggest dice roll of all, and the odds are on the house.

These cards are from the Victorian Romantic Tarot by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studio.

Daily Draw - Two of Swords, Seven of Swords, Queen of Cups

2011-06-21T11:13:00.000-06:00

Today I need to make a decision to turn myself away from a deceit I perpetrate with myself. I know what it is, but I don't especially feel like sharing, which may be a giant tease, but it's hard enough to admit our shortcomings to ourselves, let alone the world at large. It's me I am hurting with it, no one else, though, as seen by the Queen of Cups turning away from the rest of the reading. She doesn't want anything to do with the sly ways of the Seven of Swords, who is making off with his ill-gotten gains. Goodness starts with good thoughts, and good thoughts lead to good actions, which leads to a good life. Peace is a choice we make.

At the base of the deck, the Two of Cups appeared to remind me that I don't have to live that way anymore. I am loved, I am valued, I love, I cherish, and this is a safe place for me to be.

These cards are from the Victorian Romantic Tarot by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studio.

Daily Draw - Hierophant, The World, King of Cups

2011-06-20T15:38:00.000-06:00

Today's cards come from the Victorian Romantic Tarot by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studio. The deck is out of print and a bit spendy when you can find it now, but there are murmurings of a slightly modified reprint at some point in the future, so if you love it, keep on eye on their facebook page.

My cards today speak to me about the undertaking of a big study subject. The Hierophant is the master of structured learning, and that is what my project would require, or at least I feel it would. I feel like those boys, surrounded by open books piled up all around me as I try desperately to take this all in, by osmosis if necessary. The World speaks of what I am hoping the end result will be. Specifically, I am considering delving into the study of the Thoth tarot in all earnestness, something I have never done for fear of what a massive undertaking it is, and because I find Aleister Crowley's writings to be ponderous and heavy. The cars, however, have been popping up in my dreams, and I feel that my tarot study in general would improve with being forced to learn the astrology, kaballah, alchemy, and all the other nuances that went into the making of this deck. That World card, with the carefree attitude of the central figure, illustrates my hopes for the undertaking. I hope that providing what I feel is necessary structure for my intuition to really take off and fly will help me evolve into the kind of tarot reader I want to be.

The King of Cups shows my fears, heavily burdened as he is by the mundane cares of his life, and not able to let his intuition soar the way it should. I am worried about losing my love of tarot in the details of it, and that would be a shame.

The Page of Pentacles was hanging out on the bottom of the deck, just to make sure I knew what this reading was about. This studious fellow is prepared to learn just about anything, and I am thinking I am going to need to be too.

These images are from the Victorian Romantic Tarot by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studio.

Soul Spread

2011-06-15T11:01:00.001-06:00

This reading is inspired by Angelo Nasios' Soul Spread and I decided to do it with the Vanessa Tarot because it amuses me to juxtapose the seriousness of this kind of reading with the cuteness of this deck. It's also a chatty little thing, I am discovering!

I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind as I pulled these cards.

1. Logos – The rational thing, the truth of the matter, what can be learned? Six of Coins- It's just money, easy come and easy go. It ain't making me or breaking me to have it, because I don't treat it like the sum total of my existence. I am who I am with or without the bling, and money is just a tool to get by.

2. Thymos – The motivation behind everything, what you seek to gain? Knight of Cups- I want to make sure everyone I love feels loved, and for some people, that requires stuff, which requires money.

3. Eros – The self-gratification aspect, what you desire right now, the thing that should be controlled/limited. Nine of Coins- All those little luxuries I feel like I deserve, well for now they need to be regulated to "luxury" status. Dear Starbucks, I'll see you in September, okay? Let absence make the heart grow fonder...

I also want to be all independent, like I used to be when I was a single gal, but I am not a single gal . I am wed to my own personal Knight of Cups and he likes to take care of me and I hurt him when I pull away and try to act all like I don't need him.

The Coins in this reading reinforce the money theme, and the Knight of Cups in between shows the balance between love and money, and how sometimes it gets all mixed up in our heads and our hearts. I think the first card, the Six of Coins, really struck a chord with me because I want two things pictured in that card. First, to be able to give that freely and nonchalantly, and secondly, to have that freedom of trust in the provision of the Universe.

These cards are from the Vanessa Tarot by Lynard Narciso for US Games.

Daily Draw - Ace of Bows, Ace of Vessels, The Woodward

2011-04-14T11:03:00.002-06:00

Working today with the Wildwood Tarot by illustrator Will Worthington of Druidcraft fame. My personal feeling is that every tarot reader needs a copy of the Druidcraft Tarot as much or more than a Waite Smith or a Thoth, so I was eager enough to try this new offering I ordered it from The Book Depository in the UK, where it has already been released. There are a couple polarizing issues with this deck that I will discuss in the forthcoming review, but I think it is a lovely spring deck to use, although Colorado does not believe it is spring today, much to my chagrin.

The pink tinge is wonky scanner, soon to be replaced, so apologies for that.

I had to laugh when I saw these cards, and though I usually lay my cards in a line, they seemed to want to be a triangle today, and who I am I to argue with the cards? That made more sense as I read the entry in the book for the Woodward, also known as Strength in a traditionally named deck. His position in the Wheel of the Year stands at Lammas, which falls at the waning of summer, balanced between the elements of Fire and Water, according to Mark Ryan, author of the companion book, and I suppose one would have to have the fine touch of Strength to balance successfully between those opposing elements.

While shuffling, I asked for some cards I could share on this blog, because the two sets I drew before these cards this morning were relevant and accurate, but way too personal to share here, which is saying a lot as I do not have a lot of boundaries with my writing, and this is what they gave me. I see here in the two Aces the very beginning of something passionate and loving, which makes sense as I am now a Missus, to an unbelievably amazing Mister. What I see in the Woodward card is the culmination of the careful balancing of the first two cards, chalice in his hand, bow strapped to his back. The lynx at his side has no need to be subdued, and he wears a lynx cloak as well, symbolic of his oneness with the creature. In America, we call lynxes bobcats, and they are silent watchers. They are cats closely associated with psychic powers. In an animal based deck, I would expect to see the lynx as the High Priestess, the guardian of secrets and knowledge, knowing when to hold the tongue and when to let secrets spill. These cards speak to the need to let love flow, to let inspiration flow, in order to effectively use the kinds of powers the lynx and his master promise.

These cards are from The Wildwood Tarot by Will Worthington and Mark Ryan.

Deck Review - Wizards Tarot

2011-03-30T10:02:00.005-06:00

I have waited years for the Wizards Tarot by Corrine Kenner and John Blumen, and I was breathless with anticipation when I got the shipping notice for it. This was easily my most anticipated deck in a year full of great ones. You can explore the Wizards Tarot more fully here on the website.

This deck is computer generated images, CGI, and done in the traditional style of 22 Major Arcana with 56 Minor Arcana divided into four suits, which are Wands for fire, Cups for water, Swords for Air, Pentacles for earth, nothing surprising there. The backdrop is a school for magical arts, a wizarding school, if you will, and the tagline for the deck is "Welcome to Mandrake Academy, where you are the student and tarot is the teacher." The Major Arcana are stunning and original, truly adding a new flavor to the archetypes of tarot. Chiron, the ever suffering centaur from Greek mythology, strikes me as a particularly brilliant choice for taking the place of the more traditional Hierophant in this deck. Many Waite Smith derived decks have a harsh and cold looking man of God to represent him, but I feel much more comfortable approaching Chiron for the wisdom of the cosmos than a stuffy ol’ bishop. Another amazing choice is Odin as The Hanged Man, surrounded by runes and ravens. These images make me want to delve deep into the myths that surround them, and the book is very obliging, giving a great start to any student. Traditionally “difficult” cards, like Death, here renamed Transfiguration, the Devil, The Dark Lord here, and the Tower, are all rendered powerfully, but without scary images. They are not needed to make the point.

The Minor Arcana are heavily Waite Smith based, which is great for those new to tarot, as so many decks today are based on that deck. Generally, I urge my students to go to the source, and learn on a Waite Smith deck, but some people really do not get on with the art, and since tarot is all about images, enjoying the art is key to learning. The art of the Minors varies, from as stunning as the Majors, to at times being slightly stiff and awkward. I feel this is common is CGI decks, and in readings has not proved problematic. The court cards are represented by elemental beings - fiery, salamander/humanoid beings for Wands, merfolk for the watery Cups, fae for airy Swords, and gnomes for the earthy suit of Pentacles. I take personal issue with my significator card, the Queen of Pentacles, not being as traditionally beautiful as I would like to see myself, but that is personal preference only, and I am growing fond of her other charms. I find the court cards to be very expressive, which is helpful when trying to read these cards that generally represent people or facets of personality; just what they are expressing does not always jive with what I thought I knew about them, and that is okay. It’s good to stretch and grow and see things from new perspectives.

The book is one of the best I have ever read on tarot, and being that I have read hundreds, I think that is high praise. I prefer my students refrain from reading any books as they learn to read tarot, but the given meanings are concise and to the point. The real gem of this companion book, in my opinion, are the extra tidbits of information, mythos and magic, rune lore and astrology, that accompany each Major Arcana. The Minors are written about with affirmations, as well, and the spreads in this book are amazing. I want to try them all, all at once! The book is written in clear language, is well researched, and is one I would purchase on its’ own were it not a companion book. It’s that good!

My readings with the deck have been accurate and flowing. The previously mentioned awkwardness of some of the Minors did not seem as evident when laying cards down side by side as it did when assessing the cards individually. I would read for anyone with this deck, although there is no denying The Moon is sensual and lovely, and the Queen of Cups is a mermaid in traditional mermaid garb, which is to say nothing but shimmery scales, so those who are opposed to the suggestion of the female breast might take issue with those cards. Personally, I would prefer my children to see pictures of nudity, of which there is none overt in this deck, than pictures of violence. Many of the professors of this school are beautiful, and I do not take issue with that. If I had the power to make myself look however I chose, I would appear physically beautiful as well.

There has been a lot of online chatter about this deck, and people seem to either really love or hate the possible correlation to the world of Harry Potter. I would just like to say that while using this deck, there is a feel of the Harry Potter world, but I think describing that world as a wizarding school world would be more apt. J.K. Rowling was not the first writer to take on the idea of a school for learning magic, nor will she be the last. It wasn’t a unique idea for her, nor for the creators of this deck, but their take on it is what makes it special, in both cases.

Physically, the deck and book comes packaged in a flimsy box that fell apart before I even opened it. The glue seems to be bad, and Amazon shipped it poorly packaged, so the box was smashed as well. This disappointed me, as a collector, but I also have a copy that came from Tarot Garden, in perfect condition. The inner box is basically useless, being extremely flimsy and far too large for the cards. I hope Llewellyn will get with the program soon and at least give us decent packaging for its’ decks. They can look to Lo Scarabeo, who they distribute for in the US, for good ideas of snug fitting boxes and box sets with cunning spaces for the deck, or even better, Schiffer, with their sturdy boxes. The cards are backed and bordered with cobalt blue and gold scrollwork, and I think you would be able to tell if they are reversed or not, if that matters to you. The titles are unobtrusive, and the Majors are left unnumbered for those who like to order them in a particular way. The cardstock is satiny, not heavily laminated, and shuffles beautifully. The cards are what I would term a “typical” tarot size, about 4.5” x 2.75”, and they fit nicely in my average sized hand.

I think this deck would be good for beginners to tarot who enjoy the world of Harry Potter, and I feel like people who enjoy CGI of all reading levels would like this deck, for the most part. More experienced readers who want to add more astrology, runes, myth, and magic lore to their readings will benefit greatly from the companion book, no matter what deck they may use. What keeps this deck from being 5 stars, for me, is that I would have preferred interpretations of the Minor Arcana to have headed in a new direction in tarot, being based on but not exact replicas of the decks that have come before, and I feel the Majors demonstrated that the creators were fully capable of doing that. Overall, I find this to be an enjoyable, easy to read deck that will grace my shelves forever, and I, as ever, I find Corrine Kenner’s writing to be succinct, knowledgeable, and relevant. Thank you!

The Wizards Tarot by Corrine Kenner and John Blumen is published by Llewellyn Books, and has a dedicated website, as well as being available wherever books are sold, including Amazon.

Monday Majors- Theme for the Week: The Moon

2011-03-21T21:19:00.038-06:00

Interestingly, to me at least, I have not drawn The Moon for blogging in all this time, which is not to say that I have not drawn The Moon at all. The Moon and me, we have a great relationship. I ask questions, and she teases me with shadows of thoughts and whispers that almost make sense, and then I have to chase them down the fairy trail, eager for more, silvery tendrils caressing my face.

I love The Moon. I think she is beautiful, and I love to bask in her light. I am not sure the artist of this card loved her as much as I do, though. The tattered wings of the angel don't seem to be good for much, just a painful reminder of what was, and is no more. The colors of the card are discordant to me, jarring even. The wolf on the right and the dog on the left are scruffy, mangy, not seeming to care for themselves as such noble animals usually do. The valley of shadow the angel is about to pass through seems to be made up of wayward spirits and lost souls. No help comes from the distant towers, which look on, cold and unfeeling.

I may have some dark places to walk through this week, not inherently evil, but dark nonetheless. I will have to lean on my own intuition, and I will have to walk through, because my wings are useless, for the moment. I am filled with fear, but I know the Lord of Light can restore all that has been lost, if only I am brave and true enough to follow where He leads. The Moon appears to teach us to trust in our deepest knowing, to cause us to stretch and grow, to strengthen our vision in the weaker light of the reflected sun. I kneel, and I pray, and I remember, "To thine own self be true." and "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Update: March 28, 2011- The Moon has chosen to manifest itself in my life in interesting ways this week. I have had several incidents of deeply claircognizant experiences, which my logical mind wants to talk me out of. Sometimes, I just know things, and there is a feeling of calm over my entire body when that is happening, and what I pay attention to in order to learn to trust. Sometimes it happens when I am reading for people, but it often just comes unbidden, and I am learning to trust that feeling, because when I follow it in my own life, I always do better, and when I follow it in reading for others, those readings are better. I'm not gonna lie, though, it's scary as hell...

This card is from the Templar Tarot by Allen Chester, available here.

Stroke of Luck Reading - St. Patty's Day 2011

2011-03-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

Top o' the morning to you, and kiss me I'm Irish... Not really, I am Mohegan Indian and Scottish, got my last name from a German ex husband, about to be married to an Irish boy, so close enough, right?

Today I am using Eowyn's Stroke of Luck Spread, with the gorgeous Deirdre of the Sorrows tarot deck, which is not sorrowful at all. The first card is your next stroke of luck, the second how it will come about. I drew a third one to add some information to the King of Swords.

My next stroke of luck will be the Nine of Cups, the Wish Card! How cool is that? It's validation that exactly what I wish for is exactly what is good for me, and what is going to make me happy. It has long been my theory that God puts the desires on our hearts that reflect His deepest plan for us, and I am all too happy to try to oblige.

So, what would make me most happy? I am with the love of my life, every single day, and my kids are all happy, healthy, working on getting wise. I have a home I love, bright and airy, and a family that makes me glad to be alive. I have a man that's home every night, a best friend that loves me and unequivocally has my back. Those are the main things I have ever wanted.

My deepest desire that is so far unfulfilled is to write. No, I take that back. I already write. It is to write and be published. It's to create beauty, to create emotion, to touch and change the world in ways both tangible and not.

It will come about through the King of Swords and the Ace of Cups- the phrase that comes to mind to describe these cards together is infinite mercy. The King of Swords is powerful and just, and the Ace of Cups is overflowing with love and deep emotion.

The Ace of Cups strikes me as a very good card to temper the colder, more logical side of the King of Swords. It makes a person seem well balanced, seeking the truth, but not placing it above love and kindness.

These cards are from the Deirdre of the Sorrows tarot self published by Deirdre O'Donoghue.

Daily Draw - Four of Swords, The Empress, The Devil

2011-03-16T08:26:00.011-06:00

I gotta be frank with y'all, The Obstacle card, Four of Swords, doesn't really look like all that much of an obstacle to me. You have Hecate lying there with her man, looking pretty peaceful, if not overly passionate (and no, that's not the problem *grin*).

I think this card refers to the general lack of motivation I feel today. It's overcast, and springtime in the Rockies means it's either bitter cold or searing hot, none of that gentle spring rain most of you seem to enjoy. Today it's cold, and I would very much like to curl up in bed with someone else's book and read the day away. I would very much like to take that break. But this would not be a good day for that. I have a project I am working on, and duties call.

It's very easy for me to get confused about productive downtime and just plain procrastination, because for a writer, daydreaming IS part of the work, sometimes, and to write well, and to read tarot well, I need quiet times of contemplation and connecting to Source. The difficulty comes when I do not differentiate well, when I am dishonest with myself and I let my meditation time turn into nap time, or watching trashy reality tv time. I have to be aware of that today.

The Way Through the Obstacle, The Empress. Just as I suspected - it's time for me to let creativity flow, not time to rest.

The Empress is associated with Venus, goddess of love and beauty, fertile and nubile. Today is a good day for me to focus on the birthing process of the creative project I am working on. I am reluctant to turn to my writing this morning because what I wrote yesterday made me cry, big fat wet tears, not pretty sedate ones, but the kind that wrack your body and leave you snuffling and weak, headachey and thoroughly wrung out. I don't want to do that again today, but birth IS painful. Worth it, but painful.

This Empress is advising me to armor myself in beautiful things, beautiful thoughts, and to go ahead and get on with it. If it warms up enough I will take my writing outside and sit in the grass, feel the sun upon my face, smell the breeze as it wafts against my skin.

The Devil as The Outcome makes me chuckle. This is a great example of how "difficult" cards aren't always, and how every single card has a range of meaning, light and dark, and why having specific intentions about the position of each card in a reading works for me. If I was just doing a free form reading, no positions, I could very easily fall into the trap of thinking this card holds doom and gloom for me, that no matter what I do today I am not going to be able to escape the shadow of the Devil.

But, since this card is the Outcome of following the good advice, I can be assured that I can look for its' light meaning. The advice card, The Empress, and The Devil, are both sensual cards, excessive cards, of pleasure and enjoyment. Once I have completed my tasks for the day, I can join my honey for dinner and a glass of wine, and maybe we can cut loose a little, and really enjoy the fruits of our labors. A couple hours of Devil energy is good for the soul. It's when we let our desires rule us, instead of ruling them, we get into trouble.

As an alternate, somewhat evil reading, these cards made me think of a relationship going down the tubes, and getting pregnant accidentally-on-purpose, resulting in a whole host of other problems, not really addressing the main one. This is not the case for me, but I like to illustrate how cards can be read differently at different times. The Man and I are solid, and our baby is nine years old. If we had the resources we would probably have five more kids, but our hands are quite full with what we have, thank you, and while I am completely crazy about my children I am also looking forward to the far off day when I am free to travel and make love and live my life on my own schedule alone. And He feels that even more strongly than I do, haha!

Update: I was able to maintain concentration through the time I needed to, and make some progress on important projects. Then we went to dinner, where all of our senses were thoroughly indulged - crisp white wine, creamy tomato caprese, ravioli filled with cheese, fried potatoes, tiramisu. It was a good reward for a good day's work.

These cards are from The Kingdom Within Tarot by Juno Lucina and Shannon Thornfeather for Schiffer Books.

WTF Tarot - Why Am I So Grouchy?

2011-03-16T00:01:00.029-06:00

Welcome to a new section in my blogging, WTF Tarot. Many, many times I shuffle thinking exactly that, and I get good answers!

So, WTF, tarot! Why am I so grouchy tonight? Nine of Cups... Seriously? I am in such a foul mood because I pretty much have everything I ever wanted? What kind of ungrateful brat am I? The Man is in the kitchen, doing dishes, an act I would normally find unbearably sexy, but it is just annoying me now. I should be doing the dishes. I am the one that works at home now, and it's my kids that dirtied the dishes, and I hate that he feels like he should do them even though he worked all day.

But... I worked all day too. That is actually my biggest hurdle I am finding, separating work from relaxing time. And I don't want to do the dishes tonight. I would rather do them with the bright morning sunshine streaming in the window, listening to the radio, planning the evening's meal. Right now I just want to read, and lay in bed with a bowl of popcorn and a soda and something mindless to distract.

Second biggest hurdle - Here I am, safe and warm and loved, I am so loved right now, just me as I am, warts and ridiculous number of tarot decks and moodiness and full Taurean-ness and all, and this is probably the first time in my entire life that has been the case. Even my mama didn't love me unconditionally. I am pursuing my life's dreams, writing, tarot, and I have my family all together every single night, and those are the only things in life I have ever really wanted. And I spend sooooo damn much time worrying about losing it.

So what can I do about that? Temperance- I get this stupid, stinky ol' card when I am not doing a good job of actively managing the details of my life. I get this card when my anxiety is flaring and I know moving my body and eating right and meditating and yoga-ing out would help and I know that but sometimes it just seems like so much work to go through just to function as a normal human being. I get this card because that angel is not going to do my work for me. He has his own. I have to actually do it myself, and in the practical application of good ideas is where I fall apart. Inspiration I have in spades. Or maybe Wands. But I struggle with the details.

I guess I gotta go to bed now. The yoga isn't going to stretch itself come 5am. Any possibility that angel over there is mixing me a Cosmo?

These cards, on whom my foul mood should not be blamed, are from the Morgan Greer Tarot by Bill F. Greer and David Morgan for U.S. Games.

Tea Leaf Tuesday - March 15, 2011

2011-03-15T20:54:00.002-06:00

My intention is to draw seven Tea Leaf Fortune Cards every Tuesday to gain insight into what the week ahead may have in store for me. Who knows how this will turn out, because I do not use cards for divination all that often; more like cheap therapy.

I will probably take whoever is leaving my life pretty hard, which is just like me, because once people are in my life, I like to keep 'em, but it is actually for the best, as I will move forward spiritually through it and the problem will not be long lasting.

The "Broom" refers to the fact that this is spring cleaning week in my new-to-me-house. Thanks, Tea Leaf Fortune Cards! I knew that, though!

I'll be back next Tuesday to look this spread over and make comments on its' accuracy.

Update, March 22, 2011: My major challenge to overcome and sorrow over a loss manifested in the taxes not quite going the way I thought they were going to, but that is okay. Something is better than nothing, fo' sho! The person leaving my life is a social worker, who while sweet, compassionate, and doing a great job at what she does, I feel is unnecessary, and she has exited our family scene, forever, I hope, and I do wish her well! It's good to have these kinds of services for people who need them, but I don't think that applies to my family. Still, I am grateful that they came, even if I am resentful of the false claim that brought them. The temporary problems speak of that, and the money situation, as well as a tiny misunderstanding type spat between The Man and I, but they were swept away quickly, like always with us. My spiritual development is coming from committing to a course in study of The Inner Temple Of Witchcraft: Magick, Meditation, and Psychic Development by Christopher Penczak, which if nothing else I believe will strengthen my reading abilities for tarot, and enhance my creative flow for writing. I am also honored to be a student in my friend Joy's class, Intuitive Astrology, which seems to be the only way I can learn the stuff, and I would like to so that I can enhance my tarot reading as well. Spring cleaning goes on, and on, and on...

I am most pleased with the Tea Leaf Reading for this week, and I think as I learn to speak the language of these cards I will get better at interpreting them in advance. Stay tuned!

These cards are the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn and Shawna Alexander.

Daily Draw - Two of Swords, Six of Pentacles, Four of Cups

2011-03-15T08:58:00.020-06:00

Again, with The Obstacle - The Way Through the Obstacle - The Outcome spread for today.

The Obstacle: The Two of Swords is generally a card I feel good about and enjoy, it usually feels peaceful to me, and this one is labeled with the keyword "Harmony", which should be comforting, but this card in this deck, in this reading, makes me decidedly uncomfortable. The jester character in the forefront seems like he is about to wreak some serious havoc on the peace the couple in the background seem to have come to. The castle makes me feel like this has to do with our home, as in our home is our castle. The Man and I are peaceful together, and are generally in complete agreement on how to run our life together. This shady character peeking out from his blindfold, though, is an interloper. I have the impression he is about to rip his blindfold off, turn to the couple, sword in each hand, and launch an attack.

This card is the Moon in Libra, which I can see as being difficult because the Moon is not always what it seems, and Libra energy prefers everything be on the up and up, bright Sun shining, no secrets, no intrigue.

The Way Through The Obstacle: I often associate the Six of Pentacles with charity, and sharing of resources, but the resources in this card are not necessarily material. They aren't coins trickling from careless fingers to needy ones. What I see here is pure, uncensored love, and "Prosperity" that does not always have to do with what we have and what we can buy. This is a rendition of generosity that has more to do with our spiritual gifts than or material ones.

As an advice card, I take this to mean that the problem I may face today should be met with compassion, and creativity. I can see the answer being something I can do, write, or perform a reading on, or perhaps the empathy I can share will be helpful and remedy the situation somewhat. I think those things might be part of the answer because they are what I see as my gifts, what I have to share with the world. Metaphorically speaking, possibly I am meant to snatch that creepy ol' jester up and love on him as much as either one of us can stand. *smile*

Outcome: Four of Cups. In this card, the female figure looks resigned. She is neither thrilled, nor gutted by the result, which is sometimes the best we can ask for in a difficult situation. It's just okay, and sometimes that has to be just okay.

So my summary of this reading is to be aware of some outside force disrupting the harmony of my home or partnerships today, and to meet that force from a place of love, to apply my unique talents to situation, resulting in an outcome that is improved, and certainly livable, for the moment at least.

Update: It turns out that the Interloper up there had nothing to do with any person outside of my house, but had to do with me, my foul mood in the late afternoon and evening, and my flaring anxiety that likes to eff with my head. Anxiety is all about thoughts, unjust ones, usually untrue ones, as it were, and sneaky to boot. I shoulda seen that coming! I did not do a good job of caring for myself and turning my own thoughts around, but The Man was exceedingly careful of me and tried very hard to share his good feelings with me, and in a strange juxtaposition my NicNoodle decided to use some oracle cards to give me a reading, which was amazingly accurate as well as unbearably sweet! She proclaimed reading the cards made her feel close to me, and calmer herself, which is often the case, and mirrors the image of the Madonna and child as advice, though not the way I would have expected. I was the one being cared for. My daughter is so deeply empathic, and a Scorpio to boot, that she does not always know how to deal with these emotions that come from outside herself. I ended the evening feeling better, content, if not well satisfied, and resolved to sleep well, curled up against the love of my life, and to wake this morning better able to cope with the world at large. So far, so good!

These cards are from The Kingdom Within Tarot by Juno Lucina and Shannon Thornfeather for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - The Devil, Six of Swords, Justice

2011-03-14T12:02:00.017-06:00

This week I am using the Kingdom Within Tarot by Juno Lucina and Shannon Thornfeather, published by Schiffer Books, and I will review it at the end of the week. I am using a spread found in the back of the book, slightly modified, called the Triangle Spread, with the positions The Problem, The Way Through the Problem, and The Outcome, but I don't like the way it looks as a triangle so I made it linear. This is how we do.

The Problem: The Devil (dun-dun-DA!)- haha what am I supposed to say about this card? I have a loose relationship with the Devil card as a whole, because, frankly, I don't think it is THAT bad. Of course, according to Jim Carroll, "The devil's greatest accomplishment is convincing the world he does not exist." so maybe I have fallen prey to that trap, although for me, it is not so much that I do not believe in the devil, or manifest evil, but that I do not believe he/she/it has any power over me, so what care I where the devil may go?

This card carries a strong sentiment of judgment to it, not the card Judgment, associated with rebirth or awakening to a new life, but the ugly feeling of criticism and blame. Look how Saturn, the ruling planet of Capricorn, associated with The Devil, looms above the angel, becoming a halo and symbolic of her highest thoughts, while she points down at all the things she finds distasteful, and which are distasteful, but it is important to remember that people are their souls, not their actions. Mother Theresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." and I want to be aware of that critical feeling in myself, towards others, and towards myself, so that I can choose to change that feeling, and approach others, my family, my friends, people I don't even know, from a place of love, as well as meeting myself in that place of love and compassion.

The Way Through the Problem: Six of Swords- (small side tangent- Folks, this deck is weird. I like it, I don't use weird as a derogatory term, but weird it is.) I am not even sure if I was to deliberately pick a card as a response to what to do about the problem of the Devil I could have chosen a more appropriate one. The owl and the dead dude ( according to the book, Mictlantecutl, Lord of Death, however; he shall remain "the dead dude" in my mind) have turned their backs on the bright but harsh angel of the Devil card, and they are sailing away to a better place. The ghostly mermaid behind them is releasing a specter, and the water purifies all as they rush forward to meet a better destiny. This happens when we consciously choose to turn our backs on the things and people we know are no good for us, and when we make the decision and take the action to radically alter our behaviors.

For me, I have to remember that my thoughts, which are associated with the tarot suit of Swords, are not just random and uncontrollable, but that I can change them. I can stop the bad ones right in their tracks and I can make them like me instead, like Pink advises in her song, "You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong- Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead. " This is actually a simple thing to do, but like many simple things, it seems too easy to actual work, but it certainly can't hurt anything so I am gonna give it a whirl.

The occupants of the boat travel forth to their destiantion, which as it turns out, is the Outcome: Justice. I like this image, with its' balance of light and dark, sun and moon, neither one whole or complete without the other, and this is a particularly interesting card to come away from The Devil and come to, because they are essentially polar opposites. The Devil is a card about wrong motivations and bondage (not the good kind *wink*), and Justice is a card about karma and doing the right thing. Both cards have an element of "just reward" to them, the Devil embodying the natural consequence when we go against what we know to be right, and Justice holding the bright promise of symmetry, the natural consequence of living right. I like the promise dark has made to bright, and vice versa, the innocence and trust exemplified, which is a lovely idea, that we can all trust in the world again. I think that is what Heaven will be like, no fear, no anxiety, just joy.

Venus crowns this card as the ruler of Libra, associated with Justice, and in a mimicry of The Devil, demonstrates that love is highest aim. "We understand that justice is what love looks like in public." ~Cornel West

This reading was meant to be a daily draw, but the appearance of the two Major Arcana cards signify to me a reading that bears so more contemplation, as the cards are quite deep and evocative.

Update: So, folks, guess what I did today. Can you guess? Well, if your answer was "not take my own advice", ding, ding, ding, you win! There I was, in the hot and steamy shower, grooving to a favorite song, moving my body all fast and furious (yes, I dance in the shower. It's private and you wash the sweat away, win-win) when something jiggled in a way I didn't like. I was instantly filled with loathing, hate for this one body I am ever going to get, that is strong and curvy and that my man loves and shows me he loves in every way, this body that hauls me around and that I can twist and flex so fantastically thanks to my yoga practice, the body that likes to dance salsa and snowboard, that bore and nursed my children. I actually told myself how fat and ugly it was, and that is when my Devil moment manifested for me, only moments after posting this. Luckily, before I got too far down the trail of tears, I remembered to rein it in and talk only nicely to myself. Then I danced for a few more songs, in the shower. Naked. And just enough jiggly to be cute.

These cards are from The Kingdom Within Tarot by Juno Lucina and Shannon Thornfeather for Schiffer Books.