Cry Me A River

I've sure enjoyed the rain,

but I'm looking forward to the sun.
You have to feel the pain when you lose the love
you gave someone.
I thought by now the time
would take away these lonely tears;
I hope you're doin' fine all alone
but where do I go from here...

~Dixie Chicks

It's terribly difficult for any of us to just give in, to surrender, to the pain of loss. If you watch folks in the rain, they will work so hard to not get drenched, whereas if they just gave in, let themselves get wet, they would not have to fight against nature.

One of the things we do not often consider is that the pain we feel when we lose something is in equal measure to the pleasure it used to give us.

C.S. Lewis summed it up beautifully -

"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal."

Well, pardon me, but I think the deal sucks, and probably so do most of you.

Nonetheless, we have to go on, right? When I see the Three of Swords, I think to myself, and this is someone elses' quote, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

Well, count me out. Remember when we were young teenagers? And our arms and legs and all of our joints would ache? Those are called growing pains, but unfortunately, no growth occurs without pain. It would be good for us to remember that when the Three of Swords strikes, piercing us through the heart and making us feel that sometimes it is just too difficult to go on, to love, to risk, to want, and to possibly feel this immense, aching loss. You gotta feel it, it's gonna hurt, but all that hurt does not have to define ones' life.

Jim Morrison was rather blunt as he addressed this topic -

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”


I will leave you with these thoughts from the Lovers Oracle, with artwork from Sulamith Wulfing.

"Love has no limits and has no regret," writes the brave author.

I am challenging all of us to live as if those words were true. Not every love ends with the Ten of Cups, but does that make them less valid, less worthwhile?

We can't help hurting sometimes, but we can help how long we stay in that place of tears. I, for one, am definitely looking forward to the sun, even if I had to feel the pain to lose the love I gave someone. It's hard to leave little pieces of ourselves behind in the hearts of others.








These images are from Deviant Moon tarot and Lovers Oracle, artwork by Sulamith Wulfing.