WTF Tarot- WTF Am I So Scared Of?

Witches Tarot- Nine of Swords

You don't have to believe me, but I have been using the cards long enough to be highly aware that many times, they will eff with you, particularly if they feel effed with first. While in my head I know they are just paper and ink, in my heart I know they react to my moods and feelings.

My question was this- "WTF am I so scared of?" and in a twist of irony, I got the Nine of Swords. "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." has to be one of the most overused quotes in all of history (apologies, former President Franklin D. Roosevelt) but that is pretty much exactly what the card(s) told me in response.

The Nine of Swords is all about worry and anguish, staying up all night lamenting what may come, effectively praying for what we don't want. I feel lately like all I am is one giant stress ball of worry. I worry about my back, and this is a good depiction of back pain as well, its' untender mercies, and any sufferer of chronic pain knows that worrying about the pain only makes it worse. I worry about money, directly related to my back, because I can't work two jobs to make ends meet (not that I want to) and I am not even doing so hot with just the one at the moment. I worry about my kids, particularly my stepsons who are being put through the wringer in a custody dispute at the moment. I worry that their mom is a psychic vampire who is literally trying to drain me and/or my husband dry (see, there are even bite marks on her neck) and she has been clear she has no intention of being at peace, has no desire for it, even for the sake of the boys, and we have no choice but to cope with her and her drama because we love those kids.

And funny I should mention drama, because according to Ellen Dugan, celebrated witch and author and co-creator of this deck writes this about the card, "This is the 'drama queen' card. When it turns up in a reading, it symbolizes a person who is always having a crisis or causing drama in coven dynamics or social situations." Which gave me pause for thought- What if I'm the drama queen? That terrifies me. I just want to be chill, do me, and live my life at peace. Even so, I will be the first one to tell you that most people who have to tell you they hate drama actually love it and call it to themselves. Not wanting drama should be one of those things that is just reflected in the way you live your life. For someone who doesn't want drama, I sure seem to have a lot of it in my life.

Witches Tarot Page of Swords, King of Cups

I am a huge believer in cleaning up your messes, and I never leave a client with a giant pile of doo for a reading and tell them just to deal with it. I help them find advice and answers, so I have to be at least as kind to myself.

How can I best cope with my fear as expressed in the Nine of Swords? I pulled the Page of Swords, but that little booger was attached to the King of Cups, so I am going to read them together.

Look how ferocious that Page of Swords is! I'll bet he is just trembling under the weight of that Sword, but his determined face is never going to let that show. He stands at the ready. Pages are the youngest members of the Court, so they carry with them a certain innocence. Swords are about our thoughts, ideas, words, and communications. This rendition leaves no doubt that this Page stands at the ready, and he will do whatever is necessary, but I am just as sure he would be willing to sheathe that weapon if peace could be wrought.

So my first piece of advice is to stay vigilant, but use my words wisely. I need to be as ready for peace as I am for war.

The King of Cups rules from a solid rock amidst the crashing waves of the ocean. He is an island not himself, fully aware of his emotions all around him, but not being swept away by them. Those waters can also signify intuition, and this King is finely in tune with his. The advice of this card is to practice making myself still among these storms of life, because that is the only way I can hear what is true.

I love the cards. Not just these particular ones, but The Cards. They always have something interesting to say, usually something helpful,  and often something funny.





These cards are from The Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan and Mark Evans, published by Llewellyn.