Sacred Contract or Scared Contact?

As I am getting more and more convinced by this deck that perhaps the alien invasion looks less like the action flicks or Gigers' vision, and more like some of the lovely healers, light workers, tarot readers, reiki masters, and all manner of just good people I know who are on a mission to make the world whole again, I will soon be asking The Big Question.  In the meantime, I wanted to write about an experience I had with the deck yesterday.

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Two of Chalices

Yesterday, in my extreme nervousness before a client reading (I get butterflies every single time, but I also get butterflies every single time my phone chimes with The Man's message tone, or I see his car in our driveway, so I do not necessarily think that is bad thing) I played a game I often play with tarot, called Comfort Me Tarot, in which I ask my card to show me some words of comfort.  It self soothes, and eases my anxiety better than Xanax ever did.  My Comfort Me Tarot Card was the Two of Chalices, a card I nearly cried in relief to see.  While this imagery reflects quite traditional Waite Smith cards, it is card I see as not just love, but as sacred contracts, the things we were sent here to do, that we agreed before we came to Earth to fulfill.  May times that is romantic love, but it is other things and people we love, too, and reading tarot is one of my sacred contracts.  As I flew to my Twitter account to share my card, I mistyped so that I originally wrote "ComfortMeTarot 2Cups- This is my scared contract, so what am I so scared of?"  I caught the typo before I posted the tweet, so that made me think about how close those two words are- Sacred, Scared.  They are close enough that if you mistype one your spell check, and likely even your grammar check, won't catch it.

Do you get scared when you are about to fulfill part of your sacred contract?  I often do, and I think that can also be related to Resistance with a capital "R" (if you are paying attention, you'll notice I gave up for the week after that post.  I can claim, legitimately, needing healing time, but it is entirely likely capital "R" Resistance won out on me), and today I am asking The Sirian Starseed Tarot what I should do when Sacred and Scared are too close for comfort for me.

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Six of Chalices

My immediate response upon seeing this card, the Six of Chalices, is an old, faded, but undeniable memory of hugging someone so dear to me, promising to see them soon, and going to do what I knew I was supposed to, excited, nervous, scared, and exhilarated, slightly sad, but mostly exuberant.

Patricia Cori writes in the accompanying book, "Like children of the stars, we leaped into this world to learn, to grow, and to give.  This beautiful key is about remembering this innocence- that total surrender- and trusting that what is unfolding is what you came to know and experience.  From your stellar self, to your earthly being, with this key you recognize that you are a child of the universe, and you feel that harmony with yourself and with others sharing your path."

For me, to embrace this idea of a Sirian High Council, of myself, or anyone even, being a Starseed, is going to require a complete overhaul of my way of thinking.  I do believe it is possible, but this deck is challenging me to go beyond believing in possibility, and onto embracing a whole different reality than I have been living in these past 35 years.  That is a big, scary concept, and this is the first tarot deck I have ever used that has actually challenged my beliefs and way of thinking, besides the first one that I worried I might be going to hell for using (but I was 12 at the time and my Grandpa let the Jehovah's Witnesses in every time they knocked, and we kept every book they left, which a curious and voracious reader consumed in frenzied fear and hope, that I could be saved from my wickedness and suffering forever in a lake of fiery torment if I could somehow be good enough, so I get a pass on that).

So, I believe this card is advising me to remember, when I get scared as a direct result of doing something that is fulfilling the sacred contract I came here to fill, to remember that it was my choice.  I chose this, this life, this time, these people, all of them, even the irritating ones, even the ones that have hurt me, that I have hurt, and maybe them most of all.  I think the card also reminds me that I love infinitely, beyond here and now, crossing all boundaries of space and time, and I am loved just like that, too, by other beings, probably The Man, the kidtauplets, potentially some past lovers, and by the Supreme Being (who has no lake of fire; who shudders at the thought of such a thing being taught in The Name).

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Eight of Orbs

The Shadow Card is a familiar one, having appeared before as something I need to know but don't want to deal with, the Eight of Orbs.  I bind myself with my own thought patterns, and by my own admission, before I ever picked up this deck, I thought of the Two of Cups as love and sacred contracts.  Well, who was I making those sacred contracts with, unless it was God, or Goddess, with the help of Spirit Guides more than one gifted seer has said hover near me, who, if I am honest with myself, I feel, and reach out to?  If I instantly feel body recognition at the sight of the Six of Chalices, how do I explain that away?  This deck is causing me to think deeply about how I perceive the Universe, and honestly, I am scared.  Equally honestly, I am excited!  I have always known that I am more than a body here on Earth, but knowing a thing and truly believing it are two different things, sometimes.  I am beginning to truly believe.

These cards are from The Sirian Starseed Tarotby Patricia Cori and Alysa Bartha, published by North  Atlantic Books.