See, I knew yesterday that he was not done with me, as I blithely skipped over him as my shadow card for the day.
Today, I think he is here to answer my question about why I find it so hard to trust this figure.
In this image, his heart resides outside of his body, and it is all bound up. I do not trust people who don't feel, I think, and I am concerned that he does not feel. Which, of course, brings me to a piece of myself that must not be fully integrated, which I feel is the secret to be content and happy in life - that feeling that the parts of oneself are not at odds with each other on any level.
I definitely struggle with my own authority and stability. I am one giant softie, and my kiddos know it. In a "traditional" family, the father would likely offset this, but we are not a traditional family in any sense of the word, and I do not wish we were.
The shadow card, the hidden card, for the day is the Ace of Swords. Again, I see a misunderstood "bad guy" represented by the fore figure, the lion/dragon/clawed creature, who actually seems more surprised to me than anything else as the maiden shrieks from him and the warrior jumps up to her defense. In this image I can so clearly see the pieces of me which I still find undesirable, and the wish for them to be loved and understood.
These images are from the Heart Tarot bu Maria Distefano for Lo Scarabeo.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
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