Daily Draw- Three of Wands, The Tower, Death

By the time you are reading this, I will be having my second disectomy within three months.  I saw my primary care doctor last week for a physical and my pre op exams, and she and her nurse were both gushing over how handsome, how tall, how charming my surgeon is.  He is all of those things, but I don't get to enjoy them much, as I am under most of the time I spend with him, plus I have a handsome, tall, charming man I get to look at home every day.

I am not going to lie, as a Daily Draw, these cards gave me a moments' pause- The Tower, Death, and I am going into surgery tomorrow.  A fairly routine one, one that should be easy, but it can happen.  These are heavy cards for any day, let alone this one.

Deviant Moon Tower- Three of Wands, The Tower, Death

Two pregnant figures bookshelf this reading, and talk of pregnancy has been flying around our house.

The figure of the Three of Wands is like an Amazon, one breast either missing or tucked away so it won't get in the way.  Her cloak may very well be the skin of one of her kills.  She is fierce, yet she is nurturing too, as she feeds her garden from her very body, while The Moon charges that connection with psychic power.  The Moon is ruled by Cancer, the Mother of the zodiac, and all Threes relate back to The Empress, the Mother of tarot.  There is a lot of mothering going on in that card.

The Tower is change, catastrophic change, a total destruction so that a complete renovation can be done.  In my birth cards, The Tower is my teacher card, the one that has lessons for me to learn, and like most people, I am very uncomfortable with the card.

I have always enjoyed this Death card, because my youngest two came pretty close together, and my Little Big Man didn't get a long time to be the baby of the house.  In this card, this mama loves her child, but even though the world is a big, scary place, there's no going back to the safety of her womb.  Even if she would allow it, and all of us who are parents know it can be hard to say "No" to your kid, even when no is what will really serve them best, she doesn't have a choice.  She has another baby in her womb, and there is no room for the older.  He has to grow up and accept his new place in life.

This doesn't happen to me a lot, but I am having a hard time pulling these cards together, and I don't want to even admit that, because how can you have confidence in me as a reader if I can't even read for myself, but honestly, reading for oneself can be difficult, and lying here comes dangerously close to lying to myself, so I have to write truth.  Not to mention, today, with this surgery, I could have handled The Tower, and I could have handled Death, but them coming together has me a little freaked.

I take notice that both the Three of Wands and the Death card are facing away from The Tower.  Neither of those mothers want anything to do with that card.  My husband, who does not read cards, but who does want a baby, says that those mothers are ignoring the chaos of The Tower because they want the baby more.  Adding chaos to our home, and having to tell my kids "No" more, is one of the main reasons I am against having a baby.  He says the moon in the Three of Wands is showing my ability to manage my business and new motherhood, and the Death card pushing the little one away is us telling the Little J Man and NicNoodle "No" more often, causing them to grow up and stop thinking of themselves as the baby of the family, because it is not doing either of them any favors to see themselves as entitled, coddled, and without personal power.

Deviant Moon Tarot- The Lovers

The Shadow Card, the piece of information I have put furthest from myself, is The Lovers.  As our kids are getting older, and they physically need us less and less, my husband and I tend to fall into our own world at times, where it is just him and I, to the exclusion of other people.  That is a beautiful blessing to have!  Our BabyGirl is about to turn 11, and we have often talked about while we love being parents, we are also looking forward to the time when it is just him and I, and hopefully a long time from now, when we have grandkids we can enjoy and then send on their way.  The viper biting his leg reminds me of the story of the serpent in the Garden of Eden, who lied.  I wonder if that serpent is lying to my husband, telling him we have to have a baby that is our combined DNA to truly be a family, when I know that we are a family because God chose us to be, and we work, all seven of us, every day to make it so.

PS- I'll post a quickie something when I leave the hospital so you all know I am not dead.  Not that I expect to be.


These images are from Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza, published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.