Daily Draw - Focus on the Solution, Not the Problem

I would find it impossible to begin the season of Halloween, of all things dark and spooky, quirky and mysterious, without the Deviant Moon tarot deck.  This was the first deck I instantly connected to, the images reflecting back to me a half realized piece of my own inner landscape.  The deck was gifted to me, and at this point I find it impossible to separate the love of the deck from the love of the person, which is a blessing, although a bit of a mixed one, but the best things in life often are.  Dark decks in particular reflect back to me the tangled and twisted parts of myself, which are not ugly or shameful, but may not often see the light of day.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Two of Pentacles, The Hanged Man, Four of Pentacles

This reading begins with what is perhaps the most iconic image of the deck, the belly dancing two of Pentacles (who also graces my living room wall as a beautiful print).  Belly dancing is one of those mysteries, wherein the tight discipline of the physical body leads to beautiful expression of the soul.  Pentacles deal with physical aspects of life, often money, possessions, our bodies.  She is displaying her back to us, which strikes me in a particularly soft spot as I am several surgeries and countless procedures into treatment for a back injury that is not vastly improving.  At this point treatment has moved from the attempt to make a full recovery to simply trying to keep me in as little pain as possible.  This has affected every aspect of my life, and my family's lives, and honestly, it sucks.  It's a terrible thing to have happened to a fairly young person, but I need to focus on the fact that I am able to get treatment and that my quality of life has changed, but whether it is diminished or not is up to me.  I have many blessings and just this one cross to bear, which in the cosmic equation puts me squarely on the positive side of things.

The intrepid belly dancer is turned away from The Hanged Man and the Four of Pentacles, who are in turn focused on each other and ignoring her, too.  She doesn't have time to deal with them when she is so focused on her intricate dance and keeping her own Pentacles carefully balanced.  She is focused on the solution.

The Hanged Man is one of the most neutral cards in the deck for me, taking his spectrum of meaning from where I see him in a spread and the cards nearby, as well as the feeling it evokes in me.  By the nature of his situation, The Hanged Man is in limbo.  Sometimes limbo is a good place to be, offering us a safe harbor to rest, to heal, to assess, but sometimes it becomes a place to hide, to avoid making hard choices, and to keep from facing the next phase of the journey.

The Four of Pentacles features a man with a fearful expression, facing towards The Hanged Man, and not paying any attention at all to the real problem, which is the demon whispering terrible things in his ear as she leads him towards the fire.  This is me.  I fear staying in limbo, and I fear the fire of the pain I am in.  Sometimes I focus on the problems in life, instead of the solutions, and the Two of Pentacles, with her cool serenity and intense focus, reminds me that the way out of all my issues is to focus on the solution and not get bogged down in worrying over the problem.  I can't instantly fix my back, and I can't go back in time to prevent the injury, which was probably inevitable anyway, but I can focus on doing what makes me feel better, I can focus on all the beautiful things in my life, and I can focus on the other areas of life, like writing and enjoying my family, which can be altered but not ruined by this back injury.

It is my intention to share Halloween themed decks throughout the month of October.  If you have a favorite one I would love to hear about it, or if there is one in particular you would like to see, please tell me so I can check my collection to see if I can share it, or track it down.  This is my favorite time of the year, and I love to share the fun!

The images in this post are from the Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.  Mine has been lovingly altered by removing the borders, but it is now available in a borderless edition.  An eagerly awaited companion book is forthcoming.

Daily Draw- Emperor, Four of Wands

Another pair from the Fairy Lights Tarot graces the blog today, this one led by the faithful Emperor.

Fairy Lights Tarot Pairs- Emperor, Four of Wands

How do you feel about setting boundaries for yourself?  Boundaries can be a word that puts people off.  They sound constraining, because they, well, they set bounds.  The Emperor is the master of this, right?  Here's the thing, though.  We aren't free to chase seagulls without having protection in place.  It can be a mark of immaturity to balk at the protections in place.  We have this amazing freedom to practically fly down the highway, and most of us have vehicles to do so in, yet we must obey the speed limit.  We must get licenses, insurance, and tags on those cars.  All of those are restrictions which are for our own good and serve us well, when we allow it, but it sure can feel like unwelcome restriction at times.

There are many opinions on the wars being waged, and none of them encompass the whole truth, because I doubt any of us know it to share.  Most of us, though, have freedom to dissent, freedom to disagree with our government, freedom to say anything we like (though that should not be mistaken as freedom from the consequences of that speech) and we owe those freedoms to the brave women and men who serve to preserve them.  An ugly example of lashing out at authority can be seen when our service people and soldiers take criticism and sometimes even bear the brunt of hate because of their service.  They deserve respect, even when we can't support what they have been ordered to do.

Are you the protector, the keeper of the bounds, or are you frolicking carefree on the beach?  Are you able to switch in and out of those roles as appropriate to your situation, or do you struggle with taking either of them on?


These cards are from Fairy Lights Tarot by Lucia Mattioli, published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw- Two of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

I like to use Thorhammer's Daily Spread when I feel like spending time with my cards but do not have any pressing issues to work out.  I like the barometer check on life and it usually gives me something to think about.

The positions are:

• What I Did Well Today
• What I Need To Leave Behind From Today
• What I Should Carry Forward With Me Into Tomorrow

Dream Raven Tarot- Two of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

What I did well today- Two of Pentacles.  Today I kept all my balls in the air.  There was a lot to do, and a lot of ways to do it, but it all came together, and I am grateful for that.

What I need to leave behind from today- Four of Pentacles.  Tomorrow may not be as smooth.  If things go south, I need to be gentle with myself,  Just because today I managed to balance the two Pentacles doesn't mean I can double my load tomorrow with no consequences.  Superwoman I am not.

What I should carry forward with me into tomorrow- Queen of Swords.  I have needed to set some boundaries, and they are for my benefit and the people I interact with.  I am not cold or cruel for doing so; it is actually a loving act.  I need to stick to my ethics and be bold and brave in my choices, because I know who I am and where I am coming from.  I try to express it in a loving way but I am not in charge of how anyone receives me, only how I express myself.

Do you know what you did well today?  Do you like to do any daily readings?



These cards are from Dream Raven Tarot by Beth Seilonen, published by Schiffer Books.

Soft Compassion

I am so thoroughly entranced by this deck and it has easily been the most anticipated one of the year (for me).  I love the concept!  78 cards, which are made up of 39 images divided.  Often, you won't see the cards together in a reading, but when you do, it is bound to make an impression!  I am looking forward to playing with the images and seeing what goes where, but this was the first one I puzzled out.

Fairy Lights Tarot- Four of Swords, Ace of Cups

"The boundaries are soft," in this world, so reads the Little White Book.  The relaxed, peaceful feeling of the the enchanted twilight these cards represent is indeed a place where the boundaries are soft.  In the Four of Swords, the little girl is letting her fairy lights fall softly into the the whispering waterfall.  There is no hurry, no drama, just peace.  The unending source of her light shines brightly into the night sky, where drops of the stuff fall into the Ace of Cups, ensuring this chalice will never empty, the mermaid will never choke on dry air.  Love is always like that, a cycle, and I find myself telling sitters, and my own self alike at times, that if the relationship does not fill you up, and do so peacefully, as if it is almost too easy, it may not be the love you were actually seeking.

It's not always easy, but we should never spend ourselves utterly on any person or thing that is not giving back to us, or all of us who have ever had an overdraft on our banking account know what will happen next- we are empty, with bills to pay, and fees on top of all of that.

Compassion comes softly.




These cards are from Fairy Lights Tarot by Lucia Mattioli, published by Lo Scarabeo.

NaNoWriMo 2012

Every year, hell, every day, I tell myself I am going to write, and in November if you are going to write it has to be National Novel Writing Month, otherwise known as NaNoWriMo.  Procrastination is the what kills me, every time, every November, and if I am really honest with myself, every day.

Silver Era Tarot- Two of Cups, Six of Wands, Four of Swords

"Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy." ~Wayne Gretzky

Even as I am typing this I am looking at Pinterest, checking email, rubbing my sore back and telling myself surely I deserve some time off to deal with that, talking to My Little Big Man about spring league football, planning crafts I want to make (I never want to make crafts so I know this is Resistance), wanting to go get coffee, and watching Hoarder with equal parts fascination and horror.  (My Little Big Man went to fetch me coffee.  One more bonus of having a Kuerig- kidproof coffee and he feels great about helping me!)

What obstacles can I expect to encounter this November during NaNoWriMo?  Two of Cups- I have two thoughts as I look at this card.  The first one is that it's hard for me to do anything that takes time away from my husband and my family, because there is so little of it, and it is so vital.  One thing that can counteract that, for me, is that Little Big Man wants to participate this year too, and we can totally sit in companionable silence together, working, plus he is such an interesting writer!

The second thing I think about is that for me, the Two of Cups is often about sacred contracts, the why we came to this world at this time, in this body, what purpose we have.  I have no doubts that writing is one, for me, but because it is so very important to me, I struggle with it.  I want it to be just right.  I want it to be perfect.  And perfect doesn't exist.  I worry about putting something out into the world that is less than perfect, because if I can't do this one thing well, what can I do well?  It's sometimes easier for me to pretend I didn't want the grapes anyway, like the fox in Aesop's fable, than admit I want them more than anything but jut am not sure how to get them.

How can I overcome the obstacle?  Six of Wands- This card makes me chuckle.  Astrologically speaking, it is Jupiter, the most beneficent planet, in Leo, the SuperStar of the zodiac.  What that means for people who don't deal with astrology, is that this card has a lot of well deserved chutzpah.  It may be a little bit arrogant, but it deserves to be.  For me, as advice, what that means is that I need to own my talent.  Sometimes I want to hide behind modesty, to pretend that I am not all that, which sounds like modesty, but really isn't.  It is actually an ugly personality trait, because to waste such a precious resource, like talent, that is Divinely gifted, is nearly blasphemy, and it's actually a way to try to avoid the responsibility that goes along with having a talent.

What will be the end result?  Four of Swords- If I manage to stick to my schedule, and finish NaNoWriMo successfully, I will have earned a well deserved rest, self satisfied and easy in the knowledge I did my best.  Swords have to do with thoughts and ideas, so I think this also means I will have gained a skill which enables me to hold my ideas, suspended, like the three swords above her, ready to implement when I am ready to write them, while I concentrate on the one currently most important.  This will be really valuable to me because, like many creative people, I get overwhelmed with ideas and then I do nothing about any of them.  This card promises I'll gain the skill of organizing those ideas so they can later be utilized.

Silver Era Tarot- Seven of Swords

The Shadow Card of this reading is the Seven of Swords.  In Denver Tarot Geeks one evening, I heard my brilliant friend Rory describe this card as stealing from yourself, robbing yourself of an experience that you needed to have, and this describes me very well.  If I don't do this, I will be stealing an opportunity for myself to grow, learn, and create, from myself.  I will be hurting myself, and to what end?  Just because I love to procrastinate?  Just because I am afraid that what I write won't be "good enough"?  How selfish, how cowardly, and how not who I want to be!

Inspirations for Survivors

The card I pulled from Inspirations for Survivors, also by Aunia Kahn and Russell J. Moon, reads ,"The World is at your fingertips."  I have always known I would not win the lottery, because if I did I would not do the work I was sent here to do.  I have also known that I will be quite successful, which is not arrogance. Clearly, as of yet, I have no right to be arrogant, as I have not published a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, or even much of anything.  That doesn't matter to me, though, because I know I will.  The fact that I haven't yet doesn't affect that at all.


Are you going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year?

These cards are from Silver Era Tarot and Inspirations for Survivors by Aunia Kahn and Russell J. Moon, published by Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw- The Hanged Man, Four of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

The cards I have drawn today are talking about my surgery scheduled for tomorrow.  This is the second discectomy in three months, and judging by the fact that I never, not for one day, had any real relief, my doctor is guessing I almost immediately reherniated the disc.  This is quite possibly because I did not take seriously the amount of downtime I was supposed to have, and the very day of my surgery I was taking one boy to football practice and one to a Scouts meeting.  I felt okay, probably due to the lingering anesthesia (I did not drive) and it mattered so much to me that they get to their activities, my Little Big Man because he eats, breathes, sleeps, and lives football, so it really mattered to him, and the Little J Man because his mom is telling him we won't allow him to do activities like Scouts, which is simply untrue.  We need him to see that we always do what we promise him we will, because actions always speak louder than words.  My husband and I live our entire lives around scheduling these kids to get to where they want to be, so they can do the very important work of figuring out exactly who they are and what they love.

Deviant Moon Tarot- The Hanged Man, Four of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

The Hanged Man shows pain and sacrifice both, but sometimes sacrifice is actually martyrdom, which can be an ugly personality trait.  Of course I want my kids to have the best of everything, and be supportive, but truthfully, I had no business running around town the very day of my surgery, and me wanting to be a good mom, or at least wanting my kids to see me as a good mom, left me in pain.  The Hanged Man also shows unmovingness, and that is what has to happen for me right now.  I can't, through sheer force of will, make my back be better.  I just have to follow my doctor's instructions, listen to my body, and wait, which for me is sheer torture.  Were there anything to do, I would be all over it.  As it is, I must just sit still, lay still, and wait.

The Four of Swords, with its' resting message, reinforces the Hanged Man.  She is underground, mimicking the dead, and laying perfectly still, which is what I must do.  For me, someone who walks and does yoga daily, would like to dance and do Zumba, would my back allow it, runs errands, meets with clients, has lunch with friends, picks up kids, cooks, and is just generally active, laying around in bed feels like death to me.  It isn't of course, and it isn't forever.  Just a little while.  In my personal time telling method of tarot, which is shaky at best, because I do not believe time passes the same way on the other side, or wherever the answers are coming from, the Four of Swords would equal four weeks to me, which is about how long I can expect to need to take it easy, and not at all how long I did so the first go round.  The pain I have been through has taught me a hard lesson about actually doing what the doctor has ordered, though.

In my personal readings, the Queen of Pentacles is always me, and this one surrounded by the demands of little kids is how I feel.  My baby will be 11 in a few weeks, so they really don't need me at every turn, to do for them, to provide tissues or wipe their noses, except that they kinda do.  I have not tried to force them to grow up quickly, so they aren't, and I spend a good amount of time every day picking up after other people, finding lost items, delivering forgotten ones, and generally making the house run smooth.  I am worried that without me able to do what it is I do every day, the house will fall apart, and I can't live in chaos, nor do I want my family to.  Add to that the fact that we are in a custody dispute concerning two of the kids and I love them and want the best for them and really, I am just a wreck.  The Queen of Pentacles is mother card, and that is my most important job, and the only that it really matters if I do well.

However, I am taking the first two cards as advice- If I manage to successfully undergo surgery, recovery, physical therapy, then I will be ready to throw myself full time back into mothering, working, keeping house, cooking, doing the things I love, and generally being me.

Deviant Moon Tarot- The Moon

The Shadow Card of this reading is The Moon, and its' imagery describes perfectly how I have felt these past 10 months while dealing with this back injury.  I am a puppet on the string of the doctors, the chiropractor, my back, my pain meds.  I want to do the dance; I am just not physically able.  The Moon is also a card of uncertainty, and I am not sure what comes next.  I despise the way I feel on pain meds, and I take as few as possible, and I worry how they may interfere with my intuition, which is vital to both reading tarot and writing.  I want to be off them, and I want to be off them now.  I can't know that this surgery is the end of the road for me, though.  I just have to trust that I am on the path I am supposed to be on, and keep walking down it, sometimes crawling down it, and sometimes even letting my husband carry me down it, because I can't go backwards and I can't stay where I am.

These images are from the Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza, published by U.S> Games Systems, Inc.

What Deck To Use This Week?

It's the week before Halloween, it's October, my very favorite month in my very favorite time of year.  I love "dark" decks, spooky decks, atmospheric decks with twilight colors and different slants on traditional tarot meanings.  I really, really considered the Mary El, because I am madly in love with this deck and while it is not dark, persay, I find it brings shadow aspects of myself to the surface, and while I am pretty confident about who I am, but I am not always sure I want to blog about all my shadow things.  Also, I will be having another discectomy on Thursday, so I need a deck that will be gentle with me while I recover, and while Mary El is always on point, gentle is not a word I would use to describe it.

So, the contenders are Bohemian Gothic by Baba Studios, the Second Edition as my First Edition is retired to collector only status, Deviant Moon by Patrick Valenza, published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc, and Tarot Maroon, self published by Tomasz Maronski.  I asked each deck in turn what I could expect from them as a working deck this week.

Bohemian Gothic Tarot- Six of Wands

Bohemian Gothic- Six of Wands:  This is a card of victory, hard won, and justifiable pride.  I am very proud to own this deck, and one of my 17 year old sons has been learning to read tarot with it.  He is so intuitive and I am so proud of him for the ways he sees things in the cards I never have, in 23 years of reading and studying.  I feel this deck often brings to the surface shadow things I may not want to face, but it has a quirky sense of humor to me that somehow lightens the meaning enough that I can laugh at my own issues.  I am also taking particular note of the gargoyle resting above the archway.  Gargoyles are notoriously ugly, and they look evil, but they are actually benevolent protectors of home and hearth.  The images in this deck may look scary, but they are actually quite protective and kindly, if you can trust your feelings and not just the surface look.

A reason I may not want to use this deck is it is not currently readily available, and I like to review decks for people to consider adding to their own collection.  In that sense, a shadow aspect of the Six of Wands comes out- arrogance and false pride.  I have something you don't, and can't, have.  However, I have learned from The Baba Store that they are considering a reprint in 2013, which I am sure I would gladly pick up, and I am hoping for a reprint of the book, as Karen Mahony's writing about tarot has a unique voice.

Deviant Moon Tarot- The Sun

Deviant Moon Tarot- The Sun:  This is often considered the happiest, most fortuitous card in any deck, and I am not surprised to see it appear here.  The Deviant Moon Tarot is one of my all time favorite decks, and it is the very first deck that I just had to have, under any circumstance, for any price, and the very moment it came out.  The art just drew me in, and it was a very special gift from a very special person in my life, someone who understood how deeply this was affecting me, because he always has understood me in a way I am not sure anyone else ever has.

I would like to use this deck because it is a favorite, it feels like an old friend, and it often sheds light on issues I would not have noticed before, in ways that help me have a breakthrough understanding.  That is just how the art talks to me.

The black figures in the card are twins, and that brings up a reason I may not want to use this deck- I have used it often, we know each other quite well, and because I feel so familiar with it sometimes I am blinded by that familiarity.  Choosing this deck may be choosing the easy way out, which may not be an entirely bad thing on this week that I will be in the hospital for at least a day, and recovering after that.

Tarot Maroon- Four of Wands

Tarot Maroon- Four of Wands:  This figure is going home, and that is often what I feel like when I use this deck.  I also understand its' symbolic language.  My other great passion, besides tarot, is writing fiction, and my preference is for fantasy, both modern and old school.  That is also what I prefer to read, and my husband and I both love role playing fantasy games of all type.  The art in this deck fits right in with my view of how the world should be, were it perfect for me.

Wands are passion, Fours are stability, and here in this deck many of my passions converge, and give me a safe outlet to express all of them.

A reason I may not want to use this deck is it is not expressly a dark deck, and my intention was to use dark or Halloween themed decks both here and on my Daily Draws on the 78 Whispers Facebook Page for this Samhain celebration month. (If you don't do Facebook, I usually manage to pin most of the images to Pinterest as well, here for general tarot coolness, here for things specifically related to this blog, if you are interested.)  This figure also looks like the Waite Smith version of the Ten of Wands, an overburdened figure trying to make his way into the world.  With my impending surgery, this deck, which currently offers no book and most of what is written about it is in Polish, as well as the at times non traditional imagery of trying to get home, may be a bit much for me to take on.  In further addition to this imagery, this deck is not readily available in the United States, though as I understand it can be shipped anywhere, and I myself got it from the creator a few years ago.  Sometimes Tarot Garden, a favorite purveyor of mine, has it available.  It may be hard for my readers to carry home, should they fall in love with it, as the Four of Wands indicates is entirely possible.

I am not sure I have a clear answer yet, but I do have a blog post for today, with beautiful images from three great decks.  All of these decks offer clear advantages.  You'll have to tune in tomorrow to see what I pick, I guess.  What would you pick, based on these images and the decks themselves?  Or what would you like to see used and then reviewed?

These images come from The Bohemian Gothic Tarot, Second Edition, self published by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov at Baba Studios, Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza for U.S. Games Systems, Inc, and Tarot Maroon, self published by Tomasz Maronski.