A small percentage of people are just testing me, and I usually figure that out pretty fast. I then give them the opportunity to change their mind and have the reading, or I politely decline to do the reading and hand their money back. I want to help the people that need my readings, not convince skeptics.
The rest of my sitters tend to be people who want answers, who want to explore the present or delve into the past. I am not a therapist, but a tarot reading can often be a faster form of figuring out what you really need in order to move forward. You lay the cards, and instantly see areas of blockage and emotional frustration, where traditional talk therapy can take several sessions to build trust and start to reveal issues.
|Aquatic Tarot- Death|
I have chosen to not pursue relationships with some members of my family not because I am a cold, vindictive bitch who doesn't love anyone, but because I am a warm and loving person who would turn the entire world inside out for my children's best interests, and a sensitive one who feels hurts soul deep. I firmly believe forgiveness is necessary, but does not require that you allow people to continue to hurt you. I have always wished my parents well, and my siblings, even the ones I am not close to. I love them, but I chose to step off the sick cycle carousel.
It has been brought to my attention, both on this sad day and before, that my siblings may not have experienced our shared childhood in the same way I did. I have two brothers and three sisters, that's six of us all together, and my stepfather had a whole mess of kids, as well, two of which I was close to as a young teenager. That is a whole lot of people, and in trying to understand I have realized that even though we were all there, all experiencing the same thing, we did not perceive it in the same way. Each person's perception really is their reality, isn't it?
Tarot comes into this because through the lens of the cards we can explore the sometimes murky waters of our pasts, and pull forth nuggets of truth we can grasp onto. The creative force that places the card, which I call God, or Goddess, depending on my level of subversiveness on a given day, never gives us things we can't deal with, which means some are held back, while some are revealed, and we are given the tools to deal with them.
Tarot can help us sift through the debris of a difficult relationship. We can ask the cards what the lesson to learn was. We can ask for reminders of good memories so that we can experience positivity that may have been lacking. We can rewrite the pages of our own history in a way that allows us to process our pain and our joy and all the moments in between.
|Aquatic Tarot- Eight of Pentacles|
Now, no longer having the luxury of that time, I wish him peace, and I wish peace for my siblings. I thank him for the lessons, I thank him for his physical presence, thank him for the love and for the his efforts. I hope he gets to go fishing every day now, and walk all around in the big sunshine, outdoors where he was happiest. I know in the presence of the Divine he will know, all the way to the depths of his soul, the kind of love that he always seemed to searching for, and I am happy for that.