Thursday, July 15, 2010

Daily Draw - Seven of Wands, Knight of Swords, Ace of Cups

 Home- Seven of Wands:  This deck seems to speak in literal interpretations of the pictures at times.  This card reminds me of my moppets, and how much they love picnics.  It wouldn't take much to pack them up a picnic dinner and sit outside under a tree to eat it.  Sevens are often challenges, and this card is addressing the challenge I feel, to balance quality time with my kids, with the work I have to do, the work I want to do, and the chores and what have you that need to get done to keep our lives running smoothly.

Work- Knight of Swords:  This Knight is focused and driven, which are good qualities to have.  She should be careful, though, where she sticks that sword.  In this context, I feel like today is a good day to be sharp and focused, but to also be aware of the way I speak to others, and how I treat them, too.

Myself- Ace of Cups:  From the LWB, written by Barbara Moore, "A spot in your heart that was once empty is now filled.  When viewed through overflowing joy, nothing ever looks the same."  Beautiful.  It's a good day, well every one probably is, but especially today, to be aware of how blessed I am, because through being grateful we leave room for more blessings to come into our lives.  I've made no secret of the fact I would like to be in a good relationship, so of course these kinds of cards always cause a little hope surge.

The combination of these cards give me the feeling that when I am faced with choices today, I should choose the most loving and compassionate one, at each fork in the road.

These cards are from the Tarot of the Dream Enchantress by Marcco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Daily Draw - Queen of Cups, Ten of Pentacles, Four of Wands

I think it is going to be a good day!

Home- Queen of Cups.  It's a good day for me to be extra gentle and sweet with my family.  I should probably also watch out for mood swings, both mine, and those of others at home.

Work- Ten of Pentacles.  This is one of those cards that it is usually great to get when we're talking about money, and I am glad to see it at work.  This card reminds me today that I am blessed, because although it is only barely, the day job pays the bills, and leaves me with ample time to pursue my other interests and allows me to spend the maximum amount of time possible with my kidlettes, which is always my first priority.  Abundance is not only about money.

Myself- Four of Wands.  This is almost always a favorite card of mine!  My fire grand trine lends me an affinity for the Wands suit as a whole, and makes passion an important part of my life. ALL the rest of my chart makes stability important to me, and I often think of the Four of Wands as stabilized passion.  This card looks like pure joy to me, and in a literal translation of picture, reminds me how much I enjoy strumming on my guitar, singing, loudly, with gusto, and usually mangled lyrics.

The Shadow card again is the Nine of Swords.  A professional organization I am a member of has had a bit of controversy and shake up, and I dreamt about it all night.  I worried about it, because I care for the people involved and for the organization itself.  The card also probably speaks of my general anxiety.  I have a new homeopathic treatment I am working with this week, as my anxiety does seem to be running much higher than I feel is healthy for me and my usual routine is not helping as much as I would like.


These cards are from the Tarot of the Dream Enchantress by Marco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Worst Fear, Best Hope Spread

This is a simple spread I made up, if you can even call it that for such an easy spread, and I use it often.  It works with specific questions and for general readings.  I have a lot of anxiety issues, which I write about a lot, so I am not giving away any secrets here.  I manage them with diet and exercise, yoga, and little rituals and affirmations to help me get through my day.  I operate on the belief that most of the time, the worst fears we have will not manifest, and living in expectation of hope is the best way.  I often draw two cards, labeling the first one, "Worst Fear" and the second "Best Hope".  Often, those two cards give me a lot of comfort and I am soothed.  Sometimes, I will shuffle and draw two more cards, one to show me how to avoid my worst fear, and one to show me how to manifest my best hope.  Other times, I will cut randomly in the deck, a trick I picked up from Dax Carlisle of the Tarot Guild, to see what the Heart of the Matter Card is.  That is what I did today.

My Worst Fear card is the Eight of Wands, which appeared yesterday as well.  As a quintessential Taurus, and with those anxiety issues, movement and change is really hard for me, even good movement and change.  This is a paradoxical card for me, especially in this imagery, with the fast energy of the Eight of Wands and the slow moving snail.  I both crave the movement and things changing, I know in my heart and the very core of my being, that things have to change, but I am terrified by it, too.  I like to plan and plot and know my next move, at all times, yet in that same type of paradox, at times I can be extremely impulsive, going with a gut instinct with only intuition's nudge.  This generally serves me well, and I am learning to trust those nudges.

My Best Hope card is the Hanged Man, represented by a woman in this feminine deck.  This is one of the ironies of tarot which are so delicious!  I'm afraid of being forced into action before I'm ready, but the Hanged Man has been stalking me lately, much as she looks immobile, and I am not going to have to make a move until I am completely, thoroughly, totally ready.  I am getting ready by learning to see things differently, by using this time as a learning experience.  There is a spiritual aspect to this card as well, one that suggests trading comfort for knowledge, of sacrifice and feeling joy in it.

The Heart of the Matter Card is the Queen of Wands, a dynamic and fiery character.  When I am ready to sit and oversee my domain as easily, with as much confidence as she has, I will be ready to leave my Hanged One cocoon, to take on that Eight of Wands movement.  There is a season for everything, and while the advice seems to be that I should be embracing the qualities of the Queen of Wands, cultivating passion, charisma, confidence, inspiration, and charm, I have time to do so.  I don't have to wake up tomorrow transformed, which is a good thing, because I doubt I could.

This seems to be a chatty little deck that wants me to read a lot with it.  I generally don't do a lot of readings for myself, as my life is usually pretty boring.  It has not gotten suddenly more interesting, or anything, but I just can't keep my hands off this deck!

These cards are from the Tarot of the Dream Enchantress by Marco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.

Dark of the Moon Spread - July

This month I am using the Dark of The Moon Spread, which I found, as usual, at Aeclectic Tarot, and the deck of the week, the Dream Enchantress Tarot.

From AT, The Dark of the Moon spread is not intended for looking outward on a situation, or for readings with a specific question in mind. Instead, its purpose is to look inward, and give you insight into your own life. An example of what this spread gives you would be the answer to, "Where is my life at now?"


1: Releasing. Things you should be letting go of in your life-  Ten of Pentacles.  Look at this picture.  This mom has it all together.  She is so together that not only is she raising her kids, and doing a great job, but she has time to take care of herself, too, and pursue her creative pursuits!  Shock!  Awe!  How do I get that?  The answer is, I don't.  Not neccesarily.  And I have to let go of the idea I should or I'm not a good person if I can't do everything.  Society has taught us that if we do not maintain a perfect home, perfect looks, perfect children, perfect professions, then we are less than perfect, failures.  The truth is, at least in my world, is that I can have it all, but not at the same time.  Mother is my most important job right now, has to be my main focus.  Making money and pursuing my personal and professional goals have to come second to that.  Or fifth.  Patience is a virtue.

2: Retaining. Things you should be holding close to you- Eight of Pentacles.  So, now that I just got on my high moral horse about balancing work and love and money and family, I get the work card for something to hold close to me?  You know why?  Because the work I do is an intrinsic part of who I am.  Someone once said, "If you do what you love you never work a day in your life."  Well, I call shenanigans.  I loooove reading tarot, with a fiery passion that never ends.  But some days, I just don't feel like reading for others.  But I may have booked appointments, and I have to.  Most days, honestly, I don't feel like writing.  But it's gotta get done.  I am responsible for the quantity, even if I trust God with the quality.  I know I am never going to win the lottery, and I know it is because through my work, I am going to be successful, bring something into the world that only I could, and also honestly, if I did not need money, I would not work, certainly not as hard.  The Plan for my life includes work, so I gotta do it.  And I am blessed with a flexible day job that allows me to pursue my true bliss as well.  In moderation.  See card above...

3: Receiving. Things that are coming into your life- Two of Cups.  Jesus, lord, THANK YOU.  Which I say kinda tongue in cheek, and kinda serious.  I love my kids.  I love my life.  But, as much as I know there are people in it who love me, and I didn't even birth them all, I feel like I have been at it alone for a long, long time, and I am parched for connection, intimacy, conversations that don't revolve around cleaning rooms and who put the gum in the dogs' fur.  There was real love in my recently ended relationship, but it never, ever met my needs for those things in a lasting way.  The Two of Cups does not always HAVE to be about love, but for me, it is.  The Lovers, on the other hand, does not always mean love to me, but the Two of Cups does.  I am also open and receptive to the possibility of it in a way I have not been before.  I have been putting a lot of work into realizing what worked and did not work in my previous relationships, so I can learn and grow and be ready for the right one, whenever that should be.

4: Surroundings. How the world around you is affecting you- The Lovers.  Why, hello, Lovers.  Nice to see you here.  Did you know I was just talking about you in the previous card?  You must have, because I am going to continue that conversation here.  The world around me is making me make choices, sometimes hard ones, but ones that are forcing me to evaluate who and what I love, and how I can best honor that.  I am also learning what I want in a relationship, who I want to be, how I want it to look.  Every date, every conversation, every butterfly in the tummy, and every soft disappointment when it's not quite right, gets me closer to an understanding, and closer to the eventual goal of true union.  These are incredibly valuable experiences, and while I am much looking forward to having been on my last first date, I am also enjoying the journey, and even when I can't enjoy it, I am at least learning from it.

5: Giving. What you should be giving to others- 10 of Swords.  Take that, dragon!  No nonsense, no mercy.  Everyone, and everything, in my life that does not serve, that is not kind, that is not based in love, needs to go.  This is a difficult concept for me, because I am ferociously loyal, and although I don't love easily, once I do love someone, I do it with all my heart, and forever.  Yep, forever, and trust me, it leads to some deep confliction when it goes awry.  You can love people, though, and forgive them, and ask for forgiveness yourself, without allowing them to continue to hurt you.  It looks like I am going to have to get ferocious, and not even necessarily with other people, but with myself.  Time to slay all those dragons so the princess within can emerge.  "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

6: Beginning. Something new that will begin soon- Three of Cups.  I know I have mostly mentioned my desire to be with someone here in this blog, but if you could peek into my private journals, you would see how deeply I long for all relationships, and good friendships are just as important, even moreso maybe, than a good romance.  I see connection, and joy, celebration of friendship in this card, which I will welcome with open arms and an open heart.  The best way to have good friends is to be a good friend yourself, and that is another lesson I have been learning and intend to live out with fullness in my future dealings with other people.  In my former life, I did not value any relationships as deeply as I should have, and what we don't value we don't keep.  I have been lonely and don't have a huge support system, but I know better now so I can do better.  I am also taking some dance and movement classes and lessons, a true rendition of this card.

7: Your lesson. What you should be learning at this point- The World.  I am learning the importance of wholeness, and how to be there.  This is an important time in my life, when I am learning my place in the world, and the plan for my life.  I am learning how to be complete unto myself, and how to be overflowing at the same time, so I have good things to offer to my children, my family, my friends, my clients, and my eventual love and partner.

This has been a beautiful spread, with a beautiful deck, soft and gentle with me at a time when I need that, and I am very grateful for the insight and the things I have been given to think about within the spread.

Another tarot blogger, Enelinwen, at Seeker's Journey, used the same spread this month as well.  It's so interesting to me to see how different readers interpret the same spreads!

These cards are from the Dream Enchantress Tarot by Marco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - Nine of Wands, Two of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles

New week, new deck.  This week it is the Tarot of the Dream Enchantress by Marco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.  The same artist created the very popular Secret Tarot, and like all lo Scarabeo decks, it feels like silk to shuffle.  I was feeling like I needed the feminine energy of a deck, and the color palette is soothing.  I had initially picked out a deck for this week that, while, beautiful, is a riot of colors, and it was jarring for me to use it.  Maybe next week.  This deck has some female nudity, so if that bothers you, it may not be a good week to hang out here.

The spread, if you can even call it that, is a daily spread that I just made up, though it is by no mean original, so that the cards can tell me what I need to know about Home, Work, and Myself.  I use the card from the bottom of the deck as a card to tell me about something I should be looking out for.

Home- Nine of Wands.  This is the eye of the storm.  It's quiet, but it's not peaceful.  There is a tension in the still air, a current riding just under the surface, not visible, but palpable.  Floppy Hair is the biggest tumult in the house, and he is not here for now.  Some of it is his fault, the choices he is making, and some of it is my fault, who we are as a family and the ways it both works and doesn't, and some of it is just the fault of being 15.  While he is away, I am going to rest, regroup, catch my breath, because when he is back, it is all in, once again.  It's okay, though.  Nine is almost ten, and ten is the end.  Just one final push, although it is going to have to be a big one.  We love him, I love him, he loves us.  Love isn't the problem or question here.  Will is.

Work- Two of Pentacles.  Twos are about duality, and balance, and Pentacles have to do with the material plane.  Many tarot images of this card feature a juggler, the careful, calculated, and skillful balance of the things of this earth, love and money, work and home, parenthood and self.  The fey in this card seems to be letting fate decide for her, casting her coins to the wind to see which way they land.  My day job almost pays the bills, and that is important, and something to be grateful for, something I in fact enjoy doing, but there is more for me out there, and I know it.  I am just having a terrible time striking the right balance between following my bliss and keeping sneakers on little feet, food on the table in a regular manner.  This card reflects both my desire to have that balance, and the need for me to go ahead and create it for myself, not just expecting it to be blown in by a passing wind.

Myself- Queen of Pentacles.  Tarot makes me giggle.  This is the card I most often associate with myself.

She gazes into her hand mirror, but does she like what she sees?  If she doesn't, is she capable of changing it?  In a very literal way, this reflects my evaluation of myself, my physical self, which I think is uncomfortable for most women.  I will feel better if I look better, and I will look better if I step up my physical activity, and not diet, exactly, but eat with intention.  I have been doing a lot of stress eating and couch sitting, which has taken its' toll.  I have already gone on a run this morning, in addition to the usual yoga, and I plan on hitting the gym this morning, too.

For what I know, these cards seem a very accurate portrayal of life as I know it today, and the spread has proven its' worth again, in my eyes.

Oh, the bottom card.  I'll bet you could guess.  My old friend, the Nine of Swords.  Fear, anxiety, mental torment, anguish.  Interesting thought, from the Little White Book, written insightfully by Barbara Moore- "Nightmares torturing sleep are usually considered a bad thing.  But for some, the pain of remembering is more comforting than the ache of forgetting."  In this card, the angel seems almost benevolent, a companion and witness to the mans' pain.  He has drunken enough to pass out, hopefully oblivious, which is a reminder that so many of the ways we, I, try to numb ourselves, are ways to try to not face pain.

These images are from the Dream Enchantress Tarot by Marco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Daily Spread - July 11, 2010

I am a big fan of Thorhammer's Daily Spread - The first card represents what I did well today, the second what I need to leave behind, and the third is what to carry forward.  I like this spread because while I do not dismiss predictive tarot reading, I find it even more valuable to explore the past and present through tarot.

What I did well today- Ten of Cups.  Today I did a really good job of caring for myself, isolating myself from the cares of the world.  This rendition of the card shows a lone figure, as opposed to the happy family image.  This was accurate for me as my chuckleheads are all gone for the week, so it was just me, by myself for the day, and it was a good day.  Church, yoga, beignets, laughter, got a tarot reading, and an afternoon of reading and watching Glee.  It was a very pleasant, very refreshing way to spend Sunday, and I feel revitalized and ready for the week ahead now.

What I need to leave behind from today- Eight of Wands.  I really, really love this card!  It reminds me of the Neverending Story, and the racing snail, which adds an interesting twist to the swift, dynamic movement of the Eight of Wands.  In this card, we can see that sometimes a slow pace suits, and is just what is needed, and sometimes it's time to put that snail into racing mode.  There is no chiding in this card, but tomorrow I need to leave the slow and easy pace of the day and dive into action.  This is probably accurate as I have appointments to attend in the morning, and I fully intend to take some necessary steps toward the new business venture this week.

What to carry forward from to today into tomorrow - The Hierophant.  So, this dude (-ette; the denizens of this deck are mostly female) is kinda creepy.  The Hierophant is a card I often have trouble with, and this one does not look like the comforting God I seek.  The Hierophant corresponds to Taurus, my sun sign, and is often representative of conformity and tradition.  With the energies swirling around me and my moppets, it seems like this is a good time to focus on creating more of what can be seen as traditional family life.  We spend a lot of time together, all four of us, and there is no doubt we are close knit and love each other deeply.  Not all my parenting choices would be other peoples' though, and I think that is just fine, because it works for us, but I am aware that the ex may be gearing up to attempt to change our current custody agreement.  The only change I would consent to is one that offers me more money and more time (time being the more important factor to me) with them.  I have them almost all the time, and I would not have it another way, if I could help it, especially since I have the definite feeling that he is more interested in the money aspect.

I suppose the way the Hierophant relates to this is that when a mediator or officer of the court looks at a parenting situation, they do still look for traditional roles.  In our last custody bout, I was told point blank that his home, where he lives with the woman he cheated with, has two "parents" and the court appreciates that, completely disregarding the fact that my home is stable and loving with just me.

It also reminds me that I do not have to trust him to do the right thing, because he never does, and I do not have to trust the judge on the case, because she is just a human, but I do need to trust in the God(dess) who loves me and my children, and their father, who cares for us all and wants what is best for all of us.

These cards are from the Dream Enchantress Tarot by Marco Nizzoli for lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - Page of Wands, Two of Pentacles, The Fool

Well, look what we have here- the chrysalis from the Hanged One has fallen away, revealing this gorgeous butterfly, free form, free flying.  The combination of the Page of Wands with the Fool suggests some innocent fun in store for the day, and the careful balance of the Two of Pentacles expressing tacit approval.  I can manage the fun and the practical today.

These cards speak of the day ahead for me.  The Two of Pentacles looks like a yoga pose, and Sundays are my long session days.  The Pentacles in hand even remind me of the small balls I use at times in a strength exercise.  The Fool and the Page of Wands feel like pure joy, which is how I plan to spend my day.  Worship at church, which is so much more to me than showing up in a steepled building, and a fantastic novel to while away the afternoon.  It's summertime, and the living is easy.  Today at least.

These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Daily Draw - The Devil, Queen of Wands, Judgment

Look how much fire in this set of cards!

The chains of the Devil can't hold back the fiery Queen of Wands.  She simply transforms to the phoenix of Judgment, which succinctly captures the essence of this card.

I have the feeling that the Lord of the Gates of Matter (the Devil) here is causing the Queen of Wands to be poorly aspected.  I do not read reversals, because I don't like looking at upside down images, but I do believe all cards have a range of meaning.  The Devil is not always "bad", and the Queen here is charismatic, dynamic, and passionate, and those are fantastic qualities, but they can also turn tumultuous at times.  The Queen of Wands is the Queen I least associate myself with, but she probably does represent me today.

These cards tell me it would be a good day for me to speak humbly, act humbly, work actively to shed some of the bad habits that I know are holding me back.  Doing so will be freeing to me.

These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Daily Draw - Knight of Cups, Hanged One, Three of Pentacles

 In an eerily similar draw to this one, I have the dreamy Knight of Cups, the Hanged One, and the Three of Pentacles.

The Knight of Cups is turned away from the Hanged One and the Three of Pentacles.  Maybe not the most practical of the Knights, he prefers to pretend the sacrifice and the hard work of the other two cards do not exist.  It's okay, though.  The figure in the Three of Pentacles has his back, though.  He is helping the Knight, placing his work upon the errant Knight's heart.


These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Love Reading - Cards Pulled July 6, 2010

This reading concerns my love life.  There seems to be a trend in tarot, or maybe it is just the circle I hang around with, to poo poo these kinds of questions.  I am not a fan of that thinking.  What matters more than love?  Of course we should be able to bring our concerns, thoughts, and questions, to the beloved, but that is not always practical, or easy.  My particular question on this day was, "Please tell me about love and my desire to have it in my life."  The first set of cards is The Situation, the second The Obstacle, the third The Solution.

The Situation - Nine of Pentacles, the High Priestess, Five of Cups.

There I am, all Nine of Pentacles content, me alone in the world, taking care of myself, and mostly happy to be doing so.  She can be haughty and proud, maybe a little cool, at times.  The High Priestess card shows how deeply introverted I can be, as well, how much time I spend lost in my own thoughts, my own world, and how little I generally let others into it.  The High Priestess also has an aspect of guarding to her, of either keeping something in or out.  The Five of Cups shows my discontent with the situation as it is.

The cards combine beautifully.with the figure in the Nine of Pentacles reclined gracefully, cupped by the outer edge of the moon in the High Priestess card.  This demonstrates my independence and that it is okay to be that way.  The Five of Cups shows that sometimes I see that independence as loneliness.  Mostly, I am okay being alone, and being alone does not necessarily equate to loneliness, but sometimes it does.  I believe this combination of cards shows me as okay with being alone, but wanting to not always have to be.

The Obstacle - Ace of Pentacles, King of Wands, The Magician.

This card combination is the most chaotic bunch,, the most discordant, which makes sense, it being the set that the issues and problems are based in.

The Ace of Pentacles, badly aspected as this one is, shows a lack of belief in the abundance of the world.  I often believe that yes, all the good ones are gone, and I have to admit that I often feel that I am single because there is something wrong with me, and that people I may potential date are single for the same reason.  This is not my only belief, but it is one of them.

The King of Wands is bold, and passionate, and mostly I am scared to be that way.  I am afraid, which is the antithesis of what the King of Wands represents.  Lack of King of Wands characteristics is a big part of my problem.  Confidence, charisma, charm, and self assurance would all go far towards solving my issues.

The Magician here represents my self doubt, and that I seem to be waiting for good things to come to me, rather than drawing them to myself, both in thoughts and actions.  I have to think positively, and I also have to do things.  The love of my life is nowhere in my novels or my bathtub, which seems to be where I spend the bulk of my free time.

The Solution - Justice, Knight of Swords, The Sun.

Justice speaks to me of balance, and karma.  The Knight of Swords is further a seeker of truth, and a man of action.  The Sun is positive, always a positive, energetic presence  in my readings.

The combination of these cards advise me to be very careful about my thoughts and actions, to be sure that they are serving my highest truths, and that I am careful with other people's feelings as I expect them to be with mine.  I have not always been so in the past, and though I have made a lot of effort towards correcting that character flaw, I may still have karma in that area which contributes to my current troubles.  It is also a work in progress kind of thing, where I take one step forward, maybe two back from time to time.

These cards tell me to think positively, to act positively, honorably, and with integrity, too.  They are cards that promise I will have what I seek, if I do these things, and they are immensely comforting to me.

These cards are from the Transparent tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - Ten of Cups, Seven of Swords, Four of Cups, + 3 More For Good Measure

Six card daily draw tells me this is more like a reading than a quick take on my day.  The first three cards came from the top of the deck, and the next three from the bottom.  I often have a little peek at the bottom of the deck, just for some extra insight, some hidden information, on the theory that I have placed what I most don't want to face furthest away from me as possible.

The Ten of Cups is a card I often get in readings, for myself and others, in the wish position, or the dreams, the possibility position.  In a recent relationship reading, it showed as outcome, which is lovely.  It is the happily ever after ending the fairy tales promise us, that so few of us seem to get.  I want this just as much as anyone ever has, and it can be frustrating to have it appear but not manifest.

The Seven of Swords appears again today, after showing up for my Comfort Me reading a couple days ago.  There it spoke of trying new ways, maybe unconventional ways, of thinking about a situation.  The more traditional way of interpreting this card has to do with deceit and dishonesty.

The Four of Cups is boredom, apathy, discontent with what one has.

These cards combine for me to speak of a recent situation that I was part of, wherein my happily ever after dream was crushed, well maybe crushed is too melodramatic a word, let's say postponed,  by dishonesty on both parts, and how that is currently affecting me- loss of interest in trying again, with someone new, lack of trust in people in general.

I am not proud of that.  I would like very much to be open, warm, and receptive to the possibility of love, but it's so painful to have that betrayed.

The next set of cards speaks of that deep anxiety.

The World shows completion, deep satisfaction and contentment, everything is as it should be, as it was meant to be.

The Nine of Swords is mental anguish, torment of the mind.  In particular, for me, this card appears when my anxiety is running especially high and I am having troubles processing it in a healthy way, or at least a non-damaging one.  I continually beat myself up for these romantic failures, for failures of all types, telling myself if I had done this, not done that, lost 20 pounds, or kept such and such to myself, things would have been different.

The Lovers speaks of union, of perfect balance and integration.  It's the two halves that together make a whole, and even more.  It is choices we make, choices that bring us to wholeness and healing, the following of the heart that brings perfect bliss.

These cards combine to speak to me of how I worry about finding that, about being complete, about how I often feel I don't deserve that, and as long as I believe that, it won't be possible for me to find.

I feel I should say here that I do not believe I need a partner to be happy and fulfilled in life.  But I do believe I want one, and there should be no shame in that, but it is often seen as a sign of weakness for a woman to admit she would like to be with someone.

I am also aware that at times I share more of myself here than I strictly need to.  I don't know any other way to be, though, and I promised myself I would not censor, if I was going to write, it was going to be real, come from the heart, no holds barred.

These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Daily Draw - Six of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, Ace of Swords

My cards for today are the Six of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, and the Ace of Swords.  Check this out, the Six of Swords sails blithely towards the Wheel of Fortune, with the Ace of Swords leaning into it.  Some cuts are beneficial.

They combine in a way that lets me know that the way things are unfolding is part of a plan.

The Six of Swords is a journey, whether of the mind or in actuality.  The kidlettes and I have just physically moved house.  The Six of Swords is moving to a safe place from a tumultuous one.  In my case, often I don't want to move.  I would often rather being comfortably miserable than make necessary change, which is probably a large part of why I seem to have so many Tower moments.  I am making an effort to make choices before they are made for me, though, and this move was one of them.  This is where we are supposed to be.

Heeding the call that has brought us here is freeing.  That Ace of Swords is poised, ready to slice away at old thought patterns, relationships, habits we no longer need.

So, we have moved here, because we were supposed to, and now something new is about to begin for us.


These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiifer Books.