|Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Eight of Swords, Queen of Cups, Knight of Cups|
I don't generally air a lot of my dirty laundry on my blog, although I am pretty open when I write. Mainly I think if you just don't have any dirty laundry to air you don't have to worry about it, and I work very hard on living my life in such a way I would have no issues with anyone seeing the way I live, truly, even when no one is watching.
Even so, no one gets out of any relationship alive, not wholly as they were before, and I understand that my perspective is only one when I discuss these relationships. If the other people want to share they should write a blog.
Currently we are dealing with a set of custody orders that is very old and extends back to when my stepkids were toddlers, over ten years ago. At one time, their mother was a little more lenient about allowing extra time with their father, my husband, when his schedule allowed for it. I was not around for the breakdown of this situation and I cannot comment as to why it may have happened, but I just know that now it is a holy living terror to try to adjust anything about the scheduling, and since we have a houseful of teenagers and almost teens, scheduling is a big deal and changes every week for them. It seems like the only solution is to go to court and ask for an amendment, which makes me sad for the kids. Going to court will put the kids in a position of feeling like they have to choose, and that should not at all be the case. They should get both parents equally, without any guilt being laid upon them, and although I can't claim to be unbiased, I feel they are being pressured and made to feel guilty. I also know that getting the court to say the kids go here at blah blah blah time and here at blah blah blah time will not address the changing needs of teenagers and all of us, including their mother, as a changing family, and I really just wish the adults would make a commitment to parent the kids where the kids need it, and not where the parents feel their rights are.
These are excellent young men, who love their mama, and who love their dad. I know both of their parents love them. I see my husband in the first card, worried and brooding, looking towards the broken part of his family, with the kids' mom in the second card, who the Queen resembles on her good days, and my younger stepson, with the tousle of dark hair, who plays at his mother's feet, the two of them taking delight in each other, which they should, but leaving my husband and other stepson out of their exchange. Far off, in the third card, is my older stepson who is turned away from everyone in the picture and possibly only going further, because he does not feel he has a safe place to voice his true feelings. There is a lotus, a symbol for beautiful things that grow out of muck and ugliness, so all is not lost for him.
I hate even saying this, but I am so pissed at the adults in the cards. I hate saying it because I love my husband and want to always be his staunchest supporter. I hate saying it because I want to respect and admire my stepsons mom, and I can't right now. The man hurts, and he looks upon the pain of the sons, but does nothing because he feels like he can't affect any real change, which is the message of the Eight of Swords. The mother as Queen of Cups is not truly engaged with her child, but just holds him there as an emotional lever, one of the lowest expressions of the energy of this court card. The getting older by the moment older son as Knight of Cups has no place for all his water to flow, and so he heads anywhere he can dump that Cup, and in this instance it is clearly away from his parents. The Knight is full of emotions and he has no voice.
|Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Justice|
|Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Temperance|
The Majors are the most important aspects of this reading. The man can stop brooding and start taking action, the woman can shift her emotions to the most positive side of the Queen of Cups, empathic and nurturing, and the Knight of Cups can turn around and find his place. The Minors are not set in stone. What is troubling is that it seems the need for Justice may not ever trump the need for peace for these two, and that will extend to me, as well as my children, all of them, those I birthed and those I chose, so I have to become the creatrix of peace within my own domain and where I can affect change. I will love my husband and I will love our kids, and I will love the baby mama, and to the extent she will allow me to she can experience that love and compassion. I am aware that my husband is not able to extend it, but I am, so I do. I can create a home that is fragrant with the love he and I share, the love we have for the kids, with gratitude for their mother, with desire to all live to highest potential and be the best we can be.
My biggest reason for posting so sporadically has been that most of my readings are along this line, too personal, which I do not want to foist upon my readers, but I am coming to believe that tarot is intensely personal, and if I want to write about tarot I am going to expose myself at times. I don't intend to monger drama, and I have said everything I wrote in this post to my husband and to his ex, who truth be known was once a close friend, via the friendship with my now husband. She has access to this post, though I won't draw her attention to it I don't hide what I do either. I do not intend to down on her, because in every relationship, including the one she and I shared, and share now, both parties have responsibilities and both do both good and wrong. I really, truly hold no animosity for her, as our friendship reached its' natural conclusion so many years ago, and I hold nothing but fondness for what good times there were, gratitude for the gift of that friendship, and the wish that she always be joyful. Life is so short, and focusing on what brings us happiness is the only thing that makes that short time worthwhile.
And, living well is ALWAYS the best revenge.
These cards are from The Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot Deck by Deirdre O'Donoghue and Wayne McGuire, available from her website Tarot Unlocked.