What I Did Well Today, What I Need to Leave Behind, What I Need To Carry Forward
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| Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan- Ace of Wands, Queen of Cups, Six of Cups |
What I did well today- Ace of Wands. I saw several times, in different forms, that proverb, "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." ~Richard Bach
I am also taking to heart Semisonic's lyrics- "Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings'end." I am heartsick and very sad but I still found joy. My hurt has made my day overcast, but it hasn't stolen all my joy. I won't let it.
What I need to leave behind today- Queen of Cups. My pain is causing me issues with my intuition, and I am being self indulgent of my bruised feelings. Honestly, I feel sorry for myself, and I have reasons to, but my problems are no worse than anyone else's. I need to buckle up my bootstraps, realize I took one day to cry, and let that be enough.
What I need to carry forward with me into tomorrow- Six of Cups. There are two messages in this card, the first one being continue to create a happy, stable childhood for my kids. I managed to keep them shielded from my hurt, which is how it should be. They have their own concerns, book reports and sports, having the "right" hair and keeping up with chores. Children tend to believe adult issues stem from them, they are quick to believe they are at fault, and my kids are exquisite. I am blessed and they bring me joy every day. I hope one day they can look back and feel they had a happy childhood.
The other message for me in the Six of Cups is that I need to hold tight to my good memories, and not let anything corrupt them. We have a tendency to rewrite history when things don't turn out the way we wanted, and often in a fit of sour grapes say, "I didn't want that anyway." Well, I did want it, and I would have done almost anything to have it, and I have millions of beautiful, poignant memories to carry with me. I regret nothing.
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| Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan- Queen of Swords |
These images come from the Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan and Mark Evans, published by Llewellyn.
Well, I hope you can forgive yourself your imperfections today. It's especially hard to be circumspect and empathetic when you are in physical pain!
ReplyDeleteHope the surgery next week helps...
I can certainly try :-) I know my physical pain is making me grouchy! Yes, the surgery should help. Thank you so much!
DeleteHoney, the reason that the Queen of Cups' intuition is so acute is because she IS in touch with her feelings (and allows herself to feel them). Sometimes, a day of crying isn't enough. Sometimes, feeling sorrow at what we're going through--even if it DOES last more than one day--is more than appropriate. Sometimes, our intuition is blocked not because we're going through pain...but because we don't allow ourselves to feel it to the full. ::hugs::
ReplyDeleteThe Queen of Swords may be saying "fuck this superwoman bullshit", leading you back to the the Queen of Cups via the deep feeling of the 6 of Cups (remember, the 6 of Cups is linked to SCORPIO who feels things deeply and has the sharpest, most accurate intuition of the Zodiac). Thus, maybe the Queen of Cups in the "Leave Behind" position is saying "Leave behind the notion that you canNOT, must NOT, indulge in deep emotions--even troubling ones".
Which leaves us, oroborically speaking, back to the Ace of Wands: A new way of being in this world.
You may be onto something, Janet. Reading for oneself is a dicey prospect for most of us, even in the best of mind frames, and mine was not that when I pulled these cards. I'll have to do some thinking about the way those two Queens interact, because I KNOW the Queen of Swords is often my bitchy side,and not in the cute Meredith Brooks I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees way. But she is also my Libra rising in my astrological chart, and when I can harness her tongue for good use (my husband will have a bawdy joke when he reads this, guaranteed) I am pretty successful. It's shadow and light.
DeleteI think you like me so you are being kind to me :) and I thank you for it. I do love that Ace of Wands, though. There is nothing that can truly crush my spirit.
Well yes, I do like you. But, it's more like I'm a quadruple Scorpio looking in the mirror when I read your post. Let's just say hubby encouraged me to buy a journal the other day to "process my grief"; guess he was too saddened by the witnessing the threat of leakage at restaurants, in Michaels, at Wal-Mart... ;oP
ReplyDeleteI guess I know some of your grief, and I am sorry for all of it. I find all writing to be cathartic; I write it, it's out, and I am free of it. You're gonna be great, Janet, and you are on to bigger and better things. Mark can't take my tears, either, and I try to save them for when he won't see them, because I think he would literally do anything to make them stop. Maybe I'll have to save some for when the full Snowland Deck is out and drop a hint that would soothe me :-)
DeleteExactly, exactly, exactly. I don't want them to see the tears--or to be sad for me. *sigh* I really need to take time for the journaling. Think I'll go offline until next week to do some, actually. I haven't properly grieved my Dad's passing in March, either, so it's gonna be a whammy when I DO feel it fully.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Snowland, I was picking out your pendulum just a few minutes ago. You shall have the Life Themes Edition within a week, I reckon. It's a gentle deck that touches me, too. I really should pull it out to work with it! ;o) Actually, every time I see the Impermanence card I choke up, so I'll make sure I'm offline and sequestered away to work with the deck...and my new "grief" journal and sparkly gel pens.
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