Daily Draw - XIII Tarot

Today the Hierophant makes another appearance, which is not really surprising to me since I have often observed cards continue to repeat until I have really heard all they have to say to me.

XIII Tarot by Nekro - The Hierophant, The Hermit, Eight of Swords

The rising mists gently part for this Hierophant as her haughty gaze falls coolly to mine.  She offers no comfort, but neither does judgment flash in that steady stare.  Her hands steepled together in prayer, her perch on a pedestal, all of it speaks to a grace and stillness alien to me.

The Hermit is another solitary figure, as befits a Hermit, and her prayer is active, bringing the fire of desire and knowledge to share with those who are willing to brave the heat and gain the wisdom to handle it without fear.

The Eight of Swords in this pip deck shows a perfect balance of the deadly sharp tools.  They are dangerous and so must be handled with the greatest of care. In this arrangement, they are impotent, and without rearranging them into a suitable pattern, or condensing them down to a suitable number, they cannot benefit the user.

From this reading I take the idea that both blind adherence to man made religion and reckless refusal to look to God for anything are dangerous ideas which lead me to dangerous places, at best rendering me powerless to act, and at worst setting myself a booby trap in my own mind.  The Eights are always in perfect balance, although being in the suit of Swords renders this one ill dignified, and balance is what I must continue to reach for.

These cards are from XIII Tarot by Nekro, published by Fournier.

Daily Draw - Tempering the Mask

Book of Azathoth Tarot- Two of Pentacles

Today the October dark deck fest continues with an independently published Book of Azathoth Tarot.  The images in this deck do contain nudity, so if that's not your jam here is your opportunity to not have your eyes defiled.

The Two of Pentacles is not part of this reading.  He is just here to provide a little balance, to give my readers the chance to decide if they want to see a penis in the next set of cards or not.  Just like the rest of life, it's perfectly acceptable to play with the Pentacles a little before committing to the whole thing, and you can change your mind at any time.

I pulled a threesome of Major Arcana, which is always slightly alarming, and I don't find the images in this deck to be comforting and warm.  They are non-offensive, to me, but I am notoriously hard to offend, so don't let that be your guide post.

I have an incredibly difficult time trusting God, which sounds audacious to me even in my own mind.  It's not because I think I am not blessed, because I know I am.  Just by being born in America I am in a better situation than most of the world, and there are things every day that I am grateful for and know speak the presence of the Divine in my life.  It's not because I think I am owed more, because I know that God truly does help those who help themselves, and I need to do a little more for myself before I start telling God to do for me, too.  And it's not because I think I am not loved, because I do think God loves me, but in an impersonal way, the way all of humanity is loved, the way I love all animals, a lot, but the way the Zoe dog and those fatty ratties actually hold my heart, no I don't think I am loved like that.

The Book of Azathoth Tarot - The Hierophant, The Devil, Temperance

When we are little, our parents wear the mask of God for us.  They teach us about dependability, unconditional, and sometimes conditional, love, trust, grace, and the Divine.  But when our parents do not have a good grasp of those things themselves they cannot pass them along to us, and I, like a lot of people, have struggled to separate God from my fear of my tempestuous mother, the total absence of my father, and the judgment of the grandfather who undeniably loved me, and was undeniably disappointed by me on the regular.  I see this in the Hierophant, the representative of God here on earth,  wearing a mask and sitting on a throne, untouchable and unknowable.

And in our quest for something we can touch and know, somewhere we can feel safe, loved, accepted, we often find it easier and quicker to turn to excess- shopping, food, sex, alcohol, pills, escapism through video games, books, television, gossip, marijuana, and even harder drugs.  These things do not judge us, they do not condemn us, they can take the place of broken families and broken images of God, but they ultimately destroy us.  None of those things is wrong when not given a place above our own well being in our lives, but if we are using them as crutches rather than healing the broken pieces of ourselves, the Devil has truly taken root.  Anything that controls our lives and covers our hurt is an addiction, and it's the easiest thing in the world to stay in bondage to those things until we die.

Temperance is the great healer.  When we are tempered, we can enjoy a glass of wine without entering a binge.  We can eat a slice of cheesecake and enjoy it instead of needing to devour the whole cake in an effort to fill a vast hole.  If we partake, we can enjoy a mellow high without needing to get high to enjoy life.  We can have sex out of love and desire for closeness, or even just for fun, without feeling it turn into a desperate plea for validation, a distraction from our lives.  We shop for things we need and will enjoy, but we are not under a compulsion to buy, buy, buy, fill fill fill.

But the kicker is I cannot tell you about your path to Temperance, to being healed.  I cannot even tell you mine, because I don't know it, at least not the whole of it, and so much of it is discovered by the way the road feels beneath our feet.  The thing that stands out to me about this trio of cards, though, is that the Hierophant is both observing and being observed, and the Devil is a vignette of horrors to watch, but the angel of Temperance is actually doing.  And so I know that if I want to move forward, I too must actually do, not just wish and hope and think and despair and talk, but put one foot in front of the other, one word after the other, one digit after the other in making phone calls to people who can help, and actively work on healing myself rather than waiting for it to simply happen.

I am finding these dark decks to be thought provoking too, which I suppose is a by product of exploring the darker aspects of the psyche.  This reading is part of a series I am doing in the month of October featuring dark, spooky, creepy, and Halloween themed decks.  I am sure some of them will yield lighter reading.  Please share your favorites with me!

These cards are from The Book of Azathoth Tarot available at Nemo's Locker.

Daily Draw - A Pair of Aces!

Fenestra Tarot - Ace of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, King of Cups

This draw is an exciting one, including two dynamic Aces.  The creative fire of the Ace of Wands leads to the prosperous promise of the well rounded Ace of Pentacles, culminated by the master of his art, the King of Cups.

This is such an auspicious pairing that I can't help but feel maybe this is the day I manifest my million dollar idea, or begin the project that will be my breakthrough.  Aces are all raw potential and energy, and of course they require attention, feeding and care.  The King of Cups is a fully actualized manifestation of sensitive creativity combined with masterful execution.  The Aces represent a male and female energy, and this King holds both energy in his being as well.  It's perfectly balanced.

To bring this reading back to reality, I note that every figure in it is facing left.  I draw my cards with my left hand, using the philosophy that the left hand is most likely to be connected to the subconscious place of dreaming from which tarot reading, and all the art I create, come.  This energy is largely under the current and may not be the Boom! firework in your face undeniablity that I sometimes prefer to reading more subtle signs.  The intuitive King of Cups shows me I need to be deep in the flow, or at least willing to partake in order to reap the harvest these Aces promise.

Fenestra Tarot - Empress

If we were trying for such a thing, I could read this spread, especially with the Empress appearing as the Shadow energy, as a happy pregnancy.  The life force energy of those particular Aces is strong, and indicates growth from an initial burst of energy (I'd like extra credit for having originally typed "spurt" and thought better of it).  The Empress governs creativity and growth, overseeing her fruitful garden, a metaphor for both our earthly wealth and the inexhaustible wealth of our inner landscape.  The shadow energy of that is she can also hold our insecurities and doubts, and she can appear poorly aspected when we are creatively blocked, which like depression acts in such a way as to protect itself by preventing us from taking the steps we need to alleviate it.

The day is ripe and juicy!

Daily Draw - When Strength Isn't Enough

Fenestra Tarot - Two of Cups, Strength, King of Cups

For this week I have picked a deck that is easy, in that it is largely a Waite Smith clone deck, meaning that it almost perfectly mirrors the art of Pamela Colman Smith under the instruction of Arthur Waite, done in one artists' particular style.  The earth tone colors and androgynous figures of the Fenestra Tarot by Thai artist Chatriya Hemharnvibul and published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. is just what I need to kick off a new year of blogging.  Familiar enough to be comforting, but with a fresh set of eyes for me.  I have had this deck for quite a few years, but have rarely done more than glance at it.  Let's get to know it together.

Today I am using a Daily Spread which I attribute to a member of a forum I no longer frequent, Thorhammer.  It is an introspective spread which allows for examination of the day just passed rather than making a prediction of the future, and this is one of the best uses of reading tarot for myself.  The positions are "What I did well today"  "What I need to leave behind from today" and "What I need to carry forward into tomorrow".

What I Did Well Today - Two of Cups.  I'm very lucky.  I know what I am supposed to be doing with my life, at least most of it.  This family first and foremost.  Writing.  Tarot.  I am also very lucky because this is a quiet moment of life which allows for time for all those things.  I made a deal with myself, which was that if I was given this time I would honor and I would do my work.  The Two of Cups is a card that signifies sacred contracts to me.  Sometimes that includes a lover, and it becomes a miniature Lovers card.  In this case, for me today, it is the sacred contract I made with myself and the one I have with God.  I'm doing my work.

What I Need To Leave Behind From Today - Strength.  This fiery card nestled between two Cups has been weakened, and with the positional meaning of the spread I can see that I am reading the shadow energy of this card.  I am Taurus, through and through, and most of us are not known for our subtlety and nuance.  I power through most issues, demanding that everything be on the table.  I expect me to pull my own bootstraps up, hitch up my big girl pants, and buckle down to make things happen, and by and large that is what I expect from my family and loved ones, too.  Some situations call for a little more finesse and a finer eye to the shifting shades of grey that exist in life.  There are some things that cannot be powered through, and as I do my work, internal and external, I need to be more sensitive to the particular energy of the situation rather than having a one size fits all mentality.

What I Need To Carry Forward Into Tomorrow - King of Cups.  Again, we are looking at a softness of attitude that I sometimes lack.  Like the figures that populate our dreams, Court Cards often indicate aspects of our own personalities, and in this spread I see no other options for this tender and compassionate King.  I need to be gentle with myself and with my loved ones tomorrow too, because that will get results where the bullheaded stubbornness I am prone to will only cause damage.  And wine.  I should definitely have a glass of wine.

Fenestra Tarot - The Star

Shadow Card energy - The Star.  I read the bottom card of my shuffle as a little extra tidbit of knowledge, something that will add to the spread or that I need to know in my reading.  The Star is so many things- Hope, most of all, wishes granted, healing, a promise of dawn soon coming.  I often read The Star as a Sun-ish energy, bright and bringing great blessings, because our Sun is also a Star, but The Star is further away.  It's still a wish unfulfilled, but it is a promise that the Sun always rises.  We just have to hold on.  For me today, I relate to the healing energy of the water bearer, and I see myself in the card, with the keys to my own healing, as long as I accept the flow and not try to impose my own will and understanding.  It can be so hard to let go and just let things happen as they are meant to, but the struggle for control is an even bigger illusion anyway.