Waning Moon Tarot Spread

To keep rhythm with the moon today I am doing the Waning Moon Tarot Spread, courtesy of Ethony on Tumblr.  I am using the Archeon Tarot by Timothy Lantz.  I have trimmed the large borders and titles from my working deck to free the dreamy landscape to flow over and through the images.

Waning Moon Tarot Spread: Archeon Tarot- Death, The Chariot, Ace of Cups, Five of Cups

Card One: Waning- What do I need to release?  Death.
 I tend to have a scorched earth attitude towards things I leave behind.  I am often all or nothing, and I don't need to be that way.  I can exercise a little moderation, and I don't have to turn away from a thing altogether in order to move forward.  In regards to my back injury, I keep hoping for the day I wake up and I am remade, a whole new person, and that simply is not going to happen.

Card Two: Reverse- What can I reverse to help me or my situation?  The Chariot.
 I tend to have a rather bullish attitude about things, believing I can power through the unsavory parts of life, or see hard things through with sheer tenacity.  Although this has served me well in many cases, some situations need a little more finesse.  Sometimes I can (and should) hold on loosely.  I cannot force my healing through my usual means of getting things done.

Card Three: Hecate- What path is in line with my highest self?  Ace of Cups.
Love.  Love is always the appropriate response.  This was the clear message in the single card reading I did for my October project, being documented on Instagram, #ShadowWorkOctober.  Let love flow, let it fill me, let it spill over, stop putting restrictions on what it looks like, what it feels like, besides good, and what it can accomplish.  I need to focus on the love in my life.

Card Four: Guidance- What guidance can the waning moon show me? Five of Cups.
I am not a great multitasker, which means when I focus on what I don't have, I do not have the attention span to really feel, enjoy, and appreciate all the things I do have.  I think it's a normal and natural response to remember the things and the people that are no longer in our lives as better, or smoother, than they really were.  There's no use crying over spilled perfume, and since I am lucky, I have the memory of the scent to see me through, but my focus needs to be here and now in this place.  I can feel sorry for myself forever, I really could, but there is nothing to be accomplished with that attitude.

Do you like to do spreads based on the cycles of the Moon?  Please share if you do!

These cards are from the Archeon Tarot by Timothy Lantz, published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

My Lens For the Week- The Hierophant

Fairy Lights Tarot- The Hierophant

The Hierophant can be one of those weird cards, and with so many people who read tarot feeling so conflicted about the church, traditions, and being asked to conform (or not feeling conflicted at all but just straight up not caring for any of it) it can be a difficult card for some readers.

I'm not one of them.  It might be that The Hierophant, with his structure and his love of doing things "just so" relates to my sun sign, Taurus.  It might be that I am not too angry with God so when this card strikes me as a mediator between earth and heaven I am not offended.  I think the most likely answer, though, is that in true Taurean form, I take a page from Robert Downey Jr's book, most days-

Maybe it is my Libra ascendant that makes this so easy for me, but I really just don't care what anyone thinks, and while this should never be mistaken for a lack of compassion, neither should my general good nature be mistaken for door mat-y-ness.  So, I respect traditions.  I even follow some.  But I have always understood that I could discard the ones that don't work for me while embracing the ones that do.  The same with all things concerning the Divine- I am absolutely comfortable with taking all of what works for me from different teachings, while leaving what just doesn't.

This requires a measure of integrity, to be sure I am not just leaving behind something because I just don't feel like it.  For example, I really believe that stealing shows a lack of trust in the Universe to provide, and a lack of faith in self to get what is needed and wanted, but it would be very easy to pretend that "Thou shalt not steal" didn't resonate with me.  Of course, I am pretty sure the authorities do not give a flying yahoo what resonates as long as we follow the laws.

The Little White Book addresses the issue of integrity when it comes to belief and imparting knowledge like this, "The Hierophant connects to ancient cosmic knowledge and passes it to those who seek his guidance.  The teachings you offer must be imparted with integrity and truth."

Fairy Lights Tarot pairs- Ten of Wands, The Hierophant

This deck has a unique slant, in which each card is part of a larger image which were cut in half and became a card in their own right.  As I examine the pairs, I believe this must have been a great work because the artist seems to have given a great deal of thought as to how to incorporate each card in both its' own meaning and in its' paired meaning.

In this case, the Ten of Wands and The Hierophant make up two halves of the whole.  The passage from the Ten of Wands is poignant- "Your essence has been scattered through too much outward activity.  Find a place of sanctuary where you can gather yourself together again."  When we want to approach the Divine, whether we feel strong, or we feel scattered and thin, we hope to meet kindness, integrity and truth.  I would put forth that whenever we don't find those things, we have to examine whether it is a false idol we are bowing to.

So, for this week, I am, as usual, going to listen, smile, agree, and then, well you know.  Anyone who treats me like a jackass is probably doing a little too much projection for us to be comfortable together, and likewise, when it is my turn to teach, I will remember to do so with integrity and kindness, just as I wish to receive.

I will strive to remember to run, not walk, to my sacred spaces when I feel heavy and world worn, because those healing waters never dry up.


These cards are from Fairy Lights Tarot by Lucia Mattioloi, published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw- Two of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

I like to use Thorhammer's Daily Spread when I feel like spending time with my cards but do not have any pressing issues to work out.  I like the barometer check on life and it usually gives me something to think about.

The positions are:

• What I Did Well Today
• What I Need To Leave Behind From Today
• What I Should Carry Forward With Me Into Tomorrow

Dream Raven Tarot- Two of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

What I did well today- Two of Pentacles.  Today I kept all my balls in the air.  There was a lot to do, and a lot of ways to do it, but it all came together, and I am grateful for that.

What I need to leave behind from today- Four of Pentacles.  Tomorrow may not be as smooth.  If things go south, I need to be gentle with myself,  Just because today I managed to balance the two Pentacles doesn't mean I can double my load tomorrow with no consequences.  Superwoman I am not.

What I should carry forward with me into tomorrow- Queen of Swords.  I have needed to set some boundaries, and they are for my benefit and the people I interact with.  I am not cold or cruel for doing so; it is actually a loving act.  I need to stick to my ethics and be bold and brave in my choices, because I know who I am and where I am coming from.  I try to express it in a loving way but I am not in charge of how anyone receives me, only how I express myself.

Do you know what you did well today?  Do you like to do any daily readings?



These cards are from Dream Raven Tarot by Beth Seilonen, published by Schiffer Books.

Opposite of Fear Spread

I love Danielle Laporte and getting Daily Truthbombs is a highlight of my morning (or my late evening if I am still up when they come in).  I saw this one on Pinterest and it resonated so deeply with what I am experiencing that I had to make a spread for it right away.  PS- that is how you can tell something really speaks to you, when you have to stop what you are doing to follow the voice.

"It's often best to do the opposite of what your fear is telling you to do." ~Danielle Laporte, Daily Truthbombs

• Card #1- What is my fear telling me to do?
• Card #2- How does acting on this fear manifest in my life?
• Card #3- What is the outcome if I continue listening to the fear?
• Card #4- What should I do instead?
• Card #5- What can help me putting this into action?
• Card #6- What is the outcome of defying my fear and successfully implementing Card #5?

I am using Beth Seilonen's Dream Raven Tarot to give this spread a test run today.  It may be best to give this spread a specific area of life to focus on because most of us don't only have one fear.  I am focusing on my work.

Dream Raven Tarot- Lovers, Hierophant, Seven of Swords

What is my fear telling me to do?  The Lovers- My fear is telling me to pretend I am happy and well content with the decisions I have made, to make a big commitment to those decisions because they were mine and I need to own them.  To admit I have changed, or the decisions were wrong in the first place, would be a terrible blow to my ego, and something I am having a really hard time dealing with.

How does acting on this fear manifest in my life?  The Hierophant- I have become intractable and ever more stubborn as I try to hold on to these beliefs, whether they warrant the adoration or not, I am growing fat (symbolically) and complacent, happy (or telling myself I am) to sit on this perch instead of exploring the big, beautiful world.

What is the outcome if I continue listening to the fear?  Seven of Swords- Listening to the fear is causing me to rob myself of experiences that I need to have, to grow, to make more money, and to live fully in this moment.  I have two Swords firmly in hand, looking back to the two figures on The Lovers, but five more (looking back to the Hierophant) are escaping and I will never be able to grab them all at once.  The trying is making me quite grumpy.

Dream Raven Tarot- Fool, Four of Swords, Five of Pentacles

What should I do instead? Fool- Something totally different!  The Fool is all about letting go, and this winged version can fly.  In introspective tarot readings, often each figure represents an aspect of ourselves, and this one is utterly joyous.  The Lovers are not able to fly, because they are so entwined together they are not making any progress, just as I am married to some mistakes I have made instead of just letting them go.  Letting go is my secret, and the Hierophant is not so much about any of that.

What can help me putting this into action?  Four of Swords- There is a difference between grasping and holding softly.  The Seven of Swords illustrates desperate, grasping energy.  This Four of Swords is a gentler, more intimate touch.  I need to find the idea I actually love, instead of the one I feel like I should love.  I need to utilize what I can hold on loosely to, not what I have to grasp and grapple for.  I also need to spend quiet time where clarity can find me.

What is the outcome of defying my fear and successfully implementing Card #5?  Five of Pentacles- I will learn to draw security from my own self, abilities, and creation, rather than continually looking for outside of myself.  I will be better able to compartmentalize work, putting away in the branches of the tree like these Pentacles have been so carefully placed when it is time.

When I total up these cards, I come to 13, Death, which makes sense as I look to my lens for the week, which is Death.  There are things that need to be let go of since they no longer work, to make room for new things to come in.  What is gone can create fertile ground for the future, like the mistakes I have made have set me up for success, even if only by ruling out what doesn't work.  Tarot is cool like that.

I have found this spread insightful and helpful.  I hope you will, too, if you get a chance to try it out.  We can do this spread, or any other, together if you book a reading with me.


These cards are from Dream Raven Tarot by Beth Seilonen, published by Schiffer Books.

Our New Home!

When we think about the big things that happen in life, buying a new home is right up there with the biggest.  We did not really intend to move just now, but opportunity has knocked and we have flung the door open.  We are onward to bigger and better, and I am excited, if not a little nervous for the logistics of a move while I am nearly incapacitated.

Like anyone, I am eager to know how we will fare in our new home, and I asked my cards to tell me the deal.  My previous readings when contemplating the move were all in favor, which surprised me as I would have thought they would argue for staying put as I heal, but I saw happiness, financial growth, and an ease of energy I was not expecting.  I do not make my decisions based on the cards alone, but they sure do offer clarity in times of confusion!

Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012- Five of Swords, The Fool, Two of Swords

The Five of Swords is related directly to the Shadow Card, which we will look at shortly, and also my  reading of yesterday, which talked about leaving some things behind, and doing so willingly or not, it is still going to happen.  Here I see a man who has made a stand.  He has dropped some Swords but is keeping some, and he is no longer running.  He stops here, and he looks boldly at us from his solid position.  That is indicative of my husband and myself.  We have compromised.  We have done what we were "supposed" to do, and here is where we find ourselves.  It doesn't matter, because we are triumphant, and in this card, there are no retreating figures, so there is no worry about being triumphant over a particular person or integrity issues in that triumph.  We just win in the situation, against the odds.  The housing market is in the toilet.  We feared being able to sell our home for what we paid for it, but we have managed not only to do that but even better and to find another home we can afford that will suit us even better than this one has.

In my three card free form Daily Draw readings I am inclined to give the central card the most weight, and The Fool as a Major Arcana would be the most important card in this reading by its' nature of being a Major Arcana.  A new home is a new journey!  The Sun in the upper right hand corner and the Moon just below show our optimism and our emotions are riding high right now and of course our pets, like the Fool's dog, will be going along with us.  This rendition of the Fool shows him crossing a bridge that I see as made of a Wand, symbolizing spirit and passion, to another cliff.  He is not simply walking off, and neither are we.  It would be nerve wracking to cross a chasm on a small log, but if you are confident and careful it is easily done.  It is nervous right now as we prepare for this move but it is good too.  We have a plan and as long as we stick to it we are gonna be just fine.  The owl at his head equals wisdom to me, so despite the name, he is not foolish, and neither are we.  It is exciting, and we are jovial, but our eyes our wide open as we make this move.

The Two of Swords specifically indicates me to me, and that has to do with the placement of the Moon symbolism, which I see as femininity and emotions, right there at the root chakra, having to do with sex, money, and power.  When I see the strong symbols for emotions in the Moon and the water in the background, this card really does hold it all, and the woman is bursting through into that.  I see this as my home to own, to shine in, to build upon, and I see it as a place where all aspects of ourselves are safe to express.  I am blindfolded, which reinforces the energy of The Fool, especially as they look in towards each other, because we can't know everything that will happen, but just have to have faith that we have all the tools to deal spectacularly with whatever may come.

I moved into this house with my husband, but it has never felt exactly like home to me, through no fault of my handsome man.  The new home, though, already feels like just that, home.  I can see that I have a lot of high hopes for this move to push some stuck energy, but I have to be honest with myself that while the move will help, it is not the solution to all my problems.

Daniloff Tarot- The Emperor

The Shadow Card is The Emperor, and I am so happy to see him appear.  Home is sacred, home deserves protection, and he shows up here in his commanding glory to remind us to place our boundaries strong, because good fences do make for good neighbors.  He is strong, and he reminds us to be strong and protective of the things that matter most in life, which for me are my family and their sense of who they are.

He also reminds me to be disciplined, an issue I have in every aspect of my life.  A little organization and thrust will go far towards making this home a great one, and if the chuckleheads need some firm reminders of what home means, I will have to be willing to give them.

So excited!





These cards are from Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012, self published by the artist.

On Mojo

I am a month out of spinal fusion surgery, and the time has both flown by and dragged on.  I am nowhere near 100%, but I am bored and itching to write and work.

I got sick of paying my lawyer to tell my stalker's lawyer to tell the client that they wouldn't see anything they didn't like if they did not insist on following me all over the Internet, so I laid low for a while, but you know what?  I am responsible for what I put out into the world, NOT how other people find it or interpret it (or in this case, pervert and malign it).

What I am looking for today is advice on getting my tarot biz mojo back as I heal, as I swim through the chaotic waters of moving and waging a custody battle.

Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012- Seven of Swords, Death, The Empress

I chuckled, which is one of my favorite reactions to a reading, when I saw these cards.  "You gotta let some shit go so you can take care of what matters most" is what echoed through my head.

(PS- How beautiful is this deck?  My anniversary present from my husband, bless his sweet heart.)

You'll hear me say this over and over and over again, but there are no bad cards.  In another circumstance, with another question (your question is sooo important as you craft a reading, either on your own or with a reader) the Seven of Swords and Death may be intimidating cards, but I am asking for advice, not predicting the future, which is always in flux anyway.

As advice, I see the Seven of Swords telling me to get the hell out of Dodge, and if I have to let some things go in order to do that, so be it.  I don't need all those Swords anyway.  Where many readers stumble is applying the imagery of the cards to practical solutions for living a life, so as a practical application I see that I have my head, since these are Swords dealing with thoughts and communications, full, and that is filling up my life in a way that making me crazy (hopefully just figuratively).  I see the figure fleeing from the circus, which for most of us may be a fun place to visit for a few hours, but would be a confusing place to live our lives.  At least it would be for me.  I thrive on order and structure, but my life recently feels very disordered and like I am reacting to instead of planning my life.  The imagery of this card calls back to the Chariot, its' Major Arcana root, in the movement and the light/dark juxtaposition.

As I move into Death, I take the energy of that Seven of Swords with me so that I can see that I need to let some of my big ideas of how things "should" be, what I "should" be accomplishing so that I can accept and make the most of the way things are.  This is a Major Arcana, and as such leaves little room to argue.  A lot of what I am doing just is not working, and I am in some unworkable situations and relationships.  With no prejudice to the people involved, they are sucking up my precious time and creating drama that distracts my focus, so they have to go.  This is not the fault of any person but myself, who allowed it to go this far.  I have no ideas to figuratively kill any of the relationships off, but rather to let the part of myself that craves them go.

Looking to The Empress, the idea of letting things go so that I have energy to focus on what matters most, my family and my work, becomes emphasized.  Like many women, I feel guilty if I cannot do it all (look back at that Seven of Swords) and I feel overwhelmed and stressed when I do try to do it all.  And, let's be honest, in my physical condition I cannot do it all.  Prioritization is a must.  I also see the need to focus on my home, my family, because The Empress is the mother, and in this house I am the mother.  She also rules over creativity and all my work is creative, but I have lost myself a bit in the day to day running, and lost a little of my spark for the rest as a result.  Maybe that is one of the things up for being eliminated- I focus on what I love to do, what I can nurture, and let the rest fall into place, because while business has to get taken care of, love and passion for what I do has to come first.

I also see in this card that a happy home, good food, love, laughter, good sex, self care, are all important to getting my mojo back.  I have been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, but I see that digging into is probably the answer for me, for now.

Daniloff Tarot- Ace of Pentacles

The Shadow Card pushes this reading even further into the zone.  The Ace of Pentacles shows my Taurean nature, my need to have stability, the fact that throughout my life I have always made my own money and taken care of myself, and how uncomfortable I am with letting the bulk of that fall on my husband right now.  It also shows how important financial growth is to me.  We have one kid in college, one about to be, and three hitting their teenage years, which is quite expensive in terms of extracurricular and school activities.  I want to give them everything.  I want to rebuild what has had to be taken out of our nest egg.  I want to have it all.  But I am reminded we can have it all.  Just not always all at once.




These cards are from Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012, which is self published by the artist.

Soul Mates and Twin Flames- The Difference?

Tonight on Unearthly Encounters Live! with +Mackenzie Knight was a fascinating show with Dr. Georgina Cannon, whose website is so interesting, too!

My favorite question of the evening, because I love love, and all interactions between people fascinate me, was to explain the difference between Soul Mates and Twin Flames.  In my tarot practice, I spend a lot of time with my clients explaining how I do not believe there is only one soul mate for everyone, that if the person they think is it is not behaving as if they are, that does not mean they have used up all their chances for love, and so on.  These are important questions, and I do not mind answering them over and over, because people need love and if it is important to my clients it is important to me.

Dr. Cannon explained that in her view, a Soul Mate is any person with whom we have a karmic bond, and whom we learn lessons with.  She was clear that not all Soul Mate relationships feel good and not all interactions between soul mates are positive ones.

A Twin Flame, on the other hand, is a Soul that has been split into two and inhabits two bodies.  They are drawn to each other.

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery- Justice

I am fascinated by this concept, and I want to know what my cards have to say on the matter.  So I asked, because what else would I do?

What is the essence of a Soul Mate relationship?  Justice...  Oh you funny, ironic, cards.  Justice is inextricably bound with karma, reaping what we have sown, an equal and opposite reaction to our actions.  This certainly backs up Dr. Cannon's words, that Soul Mates are here for reapings, lessons, and to play out on a karmic stage.

The creator describes this card as "VIII.  Justice- the Cardinal Virtue- balances the Soul of Reason.  She is impartial, uses her scales to find truth, and is obligated to put truth into action.  She hands her sword to her champion, the knight, who is sworn by the code of chivalry to serve Lady Justice, defend virtue, and the honor of women.  She teaches that might does not make right but that might must serve truth and virtue."

These are qualities that can be found in romantic relationships, but they are not the primary ones most of us are seeking from our partners, on a conscious level at least, so I think the cards are supporting Dr. Cannon's theories.

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery- Strength

What is the essence of a Twin Flames relationship?  Strength... Again, you funny, ironic cards- Robert M. Place has decided to use European numbering for his Trumps, where Justice occupies Trump VIII and Strength Trump XI.  In most decks we use in America, besides the Thoth based ones, Justice is found at Trump XI and Strength at Trump VIII.  The cards are playing with us a bit here, demonstrating that Justice and Strength are so similar, with similar virtues, and the concepts of Soul Mates and Twin Flames share that similarity.  They seem interchangeable to us at times, and sometimes the distinction is not important.

"XI.  Strength- the Cardinal Virtue- balances the Soul of Will.  She represents discipline and power.  The lion has muscular strength, yet Lady Strength guides him with the touch of her finger, as she guides the other domesticated animals.  Her power comes from self-control, love, and the lemniscate that is beyond time.  She guides the Lion because the Lion loves her.  She is the virtue of the heart."

Now, for a card we are expecting to describe romantic love, we might be looking for the Lovers, the Two of Cups, the Ace of the same suit, and Strength might seem out of place, except for that one symbol, the lemniscate, the symbol for eternity, never ending cycle, over the Lady's head.  This card demonstrates a love that is untouched by time or distance, one that is a mutually compassionate relationship, that each partner grows in and needs to be whole.  Because of the nature of the Strength card, there is no co-dependency here, no needy clingy, just pure, unadulterated love.  And the dogs.  IS there any purer love than a dog for its' master?

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery- Temperance

What is the difference between Soul Mates and Twin Flames?  Temperance- I am not sure this card is so much explaining the difference, because really, I may have asked a dumb question, so I am getting a dumb answer, which is my fault, but explaining that we need both to function, to thrive, to grow, to become who we are truly meant to be.  Passions and emotions, love, loathing, light, dark- all of it is part of a giant cocktail and all of our lives are made up of each component.  No choices about what exactly we get, but infinite choices about how we mix those core ingredients around.

Because this reading is all Major Arcana, I believe I am working with archetypal energies, things that are certain and true about the Universe, that I may not be able to really change (not that I want to).  I think it is fully possible that Dr. Cannon's words are fresh in my head so I helped draw the cards that would support her theories, but I also think there is strong evidence that the cards are agreeing with her.  I do not know Dr. Cannon's work well, but I do know my cards, and I trust them, which is really trusting the benevolent, loving Source that powers their placement and answers, and I trust my intuition, which is really just trusting my highest self.





These cards are from The Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery, self published by Robert M. Place, available here.

Tarot Foundations by Brigit Esselmont- Day 28

Keep your eyes on this space for an exciting giveaway courtesy of Brigit Esselmont, author of two great tarot eBooks The Ultimate Guide to Tarot Card Meanings and her newest- Tarot Foundations: 31 Days to Read Tarot with Confidence, and the brilliant creator of the Biddy Tarot website.  Click here to visit Biddy Tarot.

I have been working with Tarot Foundations and have found each Lesson and Activity to be useful, easy, and illuminating.  You can catch up on all the happenings with the book here, including a special guest post from my husband, a tarot newbie.  This will be my last example of how to use the book, and next week we will have the ultimate review as well as that giveaway I mentioned.

Today I am using the methods Brigit outlined to tackle one of the most difficult questions any reader will ever be faced with, whether for themselves or others- When?

Day 28: Discover Timing Through the Tarot

In this section of the book, Brigit shares several different methods to use to divine timing through the cards.  The reader is not bound to any method she considers "right" but is encouraged to try them all out and decide for themselves what works and what doesn't work.  Some of the methods explored are using the divinatory meanings, the suits and elements, astrology, and of course, the context of the cards in the reading.

I love to do readings that glimpse possible futures for people, but even more I enjoy using tarot to delve deep into the psyche and see how the cards suggest living the best, most authentic life.  To that end, I intend to use the spread Brigit included in this section, which answers many important questions and should help me make decisions with confidence.

Activity 28.1 Conduct a Timing Tarot Card Reading

The spread is as follows:

The desired event will happen when...

• Card 1 You realise...
• Card 2 You accept...
• Card 3 You acknowledge...
• Card 4 You do...

For my timing question, I would like to know when I can expect peace in my home.  When I say peace, I mean people outside our home no longer influence it, when kids and pets and schedules and the careful balance between love and money are all in harmony.  That is a tall order, but not impossible, and I expect some great advice from the cards!

For my answers I have this reading-

Card 1: Six of Pentacles- I will have peace in my home when I realize that every thing I am doing is keeping me from doing something else.  There needs to be a balance because when I am spending time doing the dishes I am not creating.  When I am driving kids around I am not with my husband.  When I am zoning out in front of the tv I am not engaged with the kids.  When I am playing games with the kidtauplets I am not doing laundry.  Taking one client means that time is not available to another.  For this reason it is unbelievably important that every way I spend my time is either getting me closer to my goals, enhancing my family, or taking care of myself or others that depend on me.

The imagery of the card with the scales in perfect balance, the figures in different positions, is striking to me. Sometimes I am doling out my resources, and sometimes I am asking for help.  I am not comfortable with asking, and I need to realize that for balance there has to be both giving and taking.

Card 2: Queen of Pentacles- I will have peace in my home when I accept that I just need to be me.  I often see myself as the Queen of Pentacles, so I see this card encouraging me not to try to change my own nature but rather allow myself to grow the way I am so inclined and stop judging it.

On a practical note, because the Queen of Pentacles is ever practical, I will have peace in my home when I accept that I am ultimately responsible for creating that peace, through both attitude and action.  I need to think peacefully, act peacefully, and I need to get my home better organized.  With five kids, everything needs a place and needs to be in its' place.  I also need to organize my time better, and come at every issue with a plan so that I am prepared.

Card 3: The Sun- I will have peace in my home when I acknowledge how precious this time is, and how blessed our lives are.  The imagery of the baby on a horse makes me nostalgic for when I had toddlers instead of teenagers, and it does not seem like all that long ago!  They really do grow fast, and Gretchen Rubin notes in The Happiness Project the days sometimes drag but the years fly by.

Because of the positive connotations The Sun always brings, I feel I am being encouraged to express gratitude because we really have so much, each other being the biggest of those treasures.  I will have peace in my home when I acknowledge that being a positive mother, wife, pet caregiver, and person in general truly has the power to bring peace and joy.  However, I look back to the Queen of Pentacles, and I know that while I need to let myself be light I also have to stay grounded and keep it real, or I will feel inauthentic and despise myself.  This returns to the first card about balance, give and take.

Card 4: Eight of Pentacles- I will have peace in my home when I do the work.  This card has me chuckling, because it so often comes up for me when I should be working, either at my craft, business, or home, and what I am actually doing is procrastinating by watching whatever Bravo! tells me to.  I can meditate, pray, journey through tarot cards, beg, plead, imagine, envision all day long, but I have to back that up with actually doing things that will improve the situation.  As someone who works at home I often have issues with distinguishing between At Work and At Home.  Returning to the first card, I know that I have to strike a balance, and actually do the work for both things but at different times.  I am easily distracted by dishes in the sink, and when I get up to do them I usually have a brilliant (I think anyway) idea that needs to be jotted don right away.  I need time for work, time for home, time for me, time for my family, time for my husband, and I need to distinguish between those times and fully dedicate myself to whichever task is at hand instead of being distracted.

The Shadow Card of this reading is the Two of Pentacles, which is not surprising at all to me.  The Shadow Card, at the bottom of the deck when I lay out a reading, gives me some insight, usually something I am placing as far away from myself as possible.  I struggle with balancing all of life's details, like many people, and I often feel overwhelmed yet terrified of dropping any of the balls I have in the air.

So many Pentacles tell me that this truly is a valid reading about my home, and give practical advice to reach my goal.

I chose to do a spread basically says when I do x, y will happen.  I like the kinds of spreads and questions that put the power in my hands, and I am truthfully not very good at nailing down timing in reading the cards anyway, so I played to my strengths.  However, there are techniques included for divining if not exact, pretty close timing, so you can explore and experiment with those, too.  One of the greatest lessons I ever learned about reading tarot is that each reader should take what works for them and discard the rest.

If you are intrigued by Brigit Esselmont's quick and simple way to learn tarot, I encourage you to Click here to visit Biddy Tarot.







These cards are from Radiant Rider Waite Tarot published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.  The original art was done by Pamela Colman Smith, and mine have been lovingly released from their white borders.

Turquoise Lotus Mother

Yesterday I had to make a choice about some relationships in my life, and even more important to me, the lives of my kids.  It was a difficult choice about trying to continue to pursue healing with a group of people or whether to accept that it just isn't possible.  I believe in unending opportunities and that everyone can change their lives at any given moment.  If they want to.

I didn't sleep last night.  I have been nauseated all day.  I let myself get dragged down into the mud, forgetting that you can't pull someone out of it if they want to be dirty.  Mud is slimy, and your fingers slide right off of them if they are not gripping you just as hard.  Then you stand at the edge, dripping grime, feeling foolish, and wondering why they want to wallow in all that filth.  Sometimes, it stains.  Time passes, and you have to decide whether to turn around and go home, leaving them behind, since you can't drag them out, or stay and keep watching, helpless, ineffective, unable to act.

Since I couldn't save this person, much as I may want to, I have to walk away.  Dirty.  And that is okay.  I know how to get my hands and my soul clean again.  And now I know who cries, "Wolf!" There is value in that.

I also have to face the fact that my giant ego gets me into these scrapes.  I often think I can help and just because I can I believe people should want my help.  My ability does not equal their willingness.  This is important for people who work with energy and healing arts.  I need these reminders so that I can focus my time, energy, and attention on people who fit both criteria- that I am able to help, and who actually want that help.

Kuan Yin Oracle

I was hesitant because I am using the Kuan Yin Oracle by Alana Fairchild and Zeng Hao, published by Blue Angel Publishing, and this deck is full of women.  My family is full of women, most of us broken, only a couple of whom want to be free and whole.  I recognize pieces of myself cut off from the Divine Feminine, a reaction to both the rigid religious structure I could never live up to as a kid, and the broken relationship with my own mother, who should have embodied that for me.  It's not like I am the only person in the world whose mother wasn't in a good place to be one yet, and I forgive her faults.  Who am I to judge anyone?  Yet I am fearful of women.  Women, both purposefully and not, have caused my deepest wounding.

"Please tell me what I need to know about yesterday." I whispered to the cards as I shuffled.  My nausea calmed, my heart opened, and I felt a spiritual cleansing come over me.  This is why I adore cards.  The ritual, the immediacy, this is where my Goddess comes to meet me.  I am never left alone or in pain when I take the steps to meet the Divine.

From the guidebook- "Turquoise Lotus Mother brings precious healing to you now.  Allow yourself to be lifted out of your struggle, beloved one.  An old pattern is finally in its death throes, something that weighed heavily on you from your past.  This can be one of the most testing times to allow something to go, just when it seems to be so demanding of your time, focus and attention.  Yet, do not doubt, you have actually learned the lessons it required of you and now you are being blessed with an opportunity to receive karmic healing."

Tears blurred my vision, and relief flooded through my whole body.  I can let go.  I have done what was required of me.  I don't have to stay here and keep getting the mud slung at me, nor watch people I love wallow in it.  My lesson is complete, and I can go.  I don't want to leave but I have to recognize when I can no longer be useful.  I'll come back, if I am called, but I will tell you this- next time, I am bringing a pole to test both the depth of the murk and the true willingness of the caller to actually accept the help.

I note in the imagery, most important for cartomancy, that she carries with her a lotus blossom.  Lotus flowers grow in the most disgusting ichor at the bottom of a body of water.  I am walking away, but with a gift.  Whenever the people I have had to leave decide to crawl out of the mud, they can bring a lotus blossom, a gift to carry with them and reminder of their time there, too.  I can't give them mine.  You can only appreciate it when you have plucked it for yourself.





This card is from Kuan Yin Oracle by Alana Fairchild and Zeng Hao, published by Blue Angel Publishing.

King of Swords, King of Swords- What Are You Trying to Tell Me?

Mystic Dreamer Tarot- King of Swords

The King of Swords has, for the third time this week, led off my Daily Draw, and I am fully aware that has some pretty powerful significance.  I came to some conclusions in my Daily Draw, which will publish later today, but before the information I discuss in that post was available, I had come to a different conclusion, which is equally viable and I intend to share here, too.

The King is a powerful man, uniquely intelligent, and almost aloof seeming in his cool calculation of any situation.  As a person, he can often signify a lawyer, a judge, a doctor... A surgeon!

I see my surgeon today, as a person who had two surgeries in three months' time, and still not experiencing the promised relief.  I remain in a great deal of pain, and that is not right.  However, I have a great fear that I won't be believed, and some of that is rooted in not finding my own voice, my problem, and a little bit in the fact that my surgeon's assistant basically told me my continuing pain was all in my head, just before my last MRI which revealed the disc had reherniated.  After that, I did find my voice enough to request that I only see my surgeon, who is kind and compassionate, who told me, "I believe you" the last time I saw him, and at the cost of these treatments, I deserve whatever I want.  Really, at the cost of just my health, I (and you) deserve whatever I want and need.

Xultun Tarot- Lord of Swords (King)

I can be a bit dense at times, and I have also pulled the King of Swords on the 78 Whispers Facebook Page a couple times this week.  Those cards are not necessarily meant for me, but are just a place to discuss cards and their varied imagery.  However, since I shuffle and pull a bit of my energy can't help but come out in them.  I can thank this image, from the Xultun Tarot by Peter Balin, for the keyword for the King of Swords, "Surgeon", sitting there all pretty for me on the pamphlet included with the deck.  Of course it makes perfect sense, the most mature aspect of the Court of Swords, wielding a sharp object, and I have heard that reference before, but since it never had personal significance to me it never took root.  Now I have a new association to use, and a humbling to put to work as well.  I had to see this card several times, in several aspects, in order to gain that keyword, because I had never looked beyond my own nose.

I need to be strong and impartial.  The moon in the King of Swords from the Mystic Dreamer Tarot shows that my surgeon is compassionate and empathetic to my needs, but I know from experience that I need to remain cool and collected.  It's just terrifying to imagine living the rest of my life in this kind of pain, terrifying to imagine yet another surgery, and most terrifying of all is the thought of having to prove I am not well.

Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle- Loyalty

A big chunk of my issues with telling him precisely what is going on is that I don't want to insult his work, which sounds so silly when I type it, but I have an innate need to please older gentlemen, a holdover from my childhood, and there is a childish aspect of myself that doesn't want to make him mad at me by telling him his work didn't do what it was supposed to do.  I can see both the shadow and light aspects of this in the card from Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle I pulled to expound upon the King of Swords- Loyalty.  I want to be loyal and good, and I need to embrace that King of Swords impartiality, because there is no cause or need for me to feel loyalty to my surgeon.  Gratitude, rapport, yes, but loyalty- no.

However, there is reassurance in this card.  I owe no fealty to my surgeon, but he does to me, or to solving my problem at least, and I believe him to be a kind man who is in this line of work because he truly desires to help people and end their pain.

The words from the companion book offer advice in this situation, as well, "You have chosen this symbol of Loyalty, and this means you are being called to stand up for who and what you believe in." I believe in myself, and I believe that while I am better, I am nowhere near full health, and I need to be clear about that, with no fear.  And that is why this card has been following me around all week.  (There is another aspect you will reading my Daily Draw later on, too.)



These cards are from Mystic Dreamer Tarot by Heidi Darras and Barbara Moore, published by Llewellyn, Xultun Tarot by Peter Balin, published by Arcana Publishing CO, and Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle by P.C. Cast and Colette Baron-Reid, published by Potter Style.

Monday Majors: My Lens for the Week- The Devil

Mystic Dreamer Tarot- The Devil

The Devil reflects exactly how I feel, so I am in no way surprised to see her today.  I feel bound to people I don't want to be, I feel angry and full of white hot heat that could burn, and those feelings make me feel ashamed and dirty.

There are a number of things and situations I would just set a match to, metaphorically speaking, and watch burn to the ground right now.  Scratch that; I would not even bother to watch.  I would just turn and walk away.

I know, in some ways, my anger is getting the best of me, but the question comes- Is that because I am used to being a good girl who stays quiet and doesn't make waves?  Or is this a righteous anger and I so rarely let myself feel that I am unused to the way it burns?  Time will bear that out, and I am sure some of my posts will, too.

I have had the Mystic Dreamer Tarot since its' release in 2008, and I rather like the images, though this kind of art is not to everyone's tastes.  I wanted something pretty and meaningful and personal and symbolic but wouldn't make me work too hard or stretch too far.  I'm too ragged around my edges for too much serious stretching just now, though I do feel this is a deep deck and worthy of study, use, and my time that goes into those things.





These cards are from Mystic Dreamer Tarot by Heidi Darras and Barbara Moore, published by Llewellyn.

The Worst Thanksgiving

Don't be fooled by the title- Today was lovely in every way for me, and I hope for you, too!  Happy Thanksgiving to you if you are my neighbor is the States, and Happy Thanksgiving to you even if you are not.  I still hope your day was awesome!

This set of cards is about a Thanksgiving I did not fare so well, and I did not randomly draw them.  I chose them specifically to tell you this story.

Tarot of the Tattoo Age- Five of Pentacles, Eight of Swords, Seven of Cups

The first Thanksgiving on my own was hard.  The Ex was not allowed to see the kids, by order of the court, and consequently not any help to me at all.  We were all heartbroken already, and I had a shitty job in a shitty town that barely kept us fed.  I was involved with someone, who in retrospect, I had probably latched onto to boost my deflated self esteem, and just not to be alone, although later on I was very much in love with him, so it is hard to tell when exactly that happened.  For some reason, perhaps immaturity on his part, or my simple unreadiness to be in a relationship so soon after the demise of my last one, he picked Thanksgiving of that year to pick a fight with me that ended in a (temporary) break up.  He was not involved with my kids, as I have always been very careful about who comes around my babies, so they had no idea why mama was crying into the mashed potatoes, and I to this day am ashamed that I lost it so totally that day.  I roasted a turkey, made gravy, performed all my duties, but all of it was salted with my tears.

The Five of Pentacles shows me cast out from my home, adrift and feeling alone, until I was involved with this guy.  I was not as healthy then as I am today, and I very much wanted to just go back to the way things used to be for me, not with The Ex, but with someone.  I thought I had found that in him, and then he cast me aside, too.  Before that day I had never see his anger, and the heat of it shocked me as I fled, but I was begging, almost, to stay too.  The Eight of Swords displays my grief, my feelings of helplessness, and abandonment.  I felt utterly bound by the feelings I had for him, and I couldn't understand how I could be so bound and he not.  Her nakedness also reflects my shame at how I had put myself, all of me, on display to him, and been found lacking.  The Seven of Cups illustrates my heart being wrung of every dream it had ever dared to dream, and I cried a river that day, for him, for my old way of life, for my children who I feared would never see their dad again, and just out of ragged, raw grief for it all, not least of all for the lost vision of who I really was.

We eventually made up, that very evening, after I had managed to pull it together to serve my kids their meal, just we four, and my aunt who carried me through a time I could not walk for myself.  We went on to be on again off again for years, and I may have saved myself a lot of pain if I had just believed him when he showed me who he really was, which was, and is, a wonderful man with a thousand good qualities, but just not quite right for me, nor I for him.

(For the sake of clarity, both mine and yours- Neither The Ex or this excellent man I am wring about are were, or ever will be responsible for me and my issues.  That is, was, and while I hopefully will never have another issue I am not yet ascended, so I know it's a real possibility, will be all about me.  I own everything and regret very little.)

Tarot of the Tattoo Age- The Sun

Today, I am healthy and I am strong, and even before I began dating my now husband I had grown into that.  I hold the keys to my own happiness, and I do not expect anyone to make me so.  I believe people when they tell me, through deed or words, who they really are, and I then interact with them on that basis.  I love myself so I do not need anyone else to, although I delight in the lavish love The Man heaps upon me.  My kids have a healthy mother who always puts them first, and while they may see an occasional tear, because I believe children need to learn every emotion is valid so they can express them in a healthy way, it is never hysterics nowadays.

I am now living out my happy ending to a fairy tale romance, day by day, and I have never been better.  I am loved, I am capable, I feel beautiful and adored.  I am able to love deeply and trust fully, my reward being the most contented marriage I could ever imagine.  My husband is literally better than I had even bothered to dream up for myself.

I am not telling this story to boast of my good fortune (even though my husband deserves every praise I could think up and then some) because it was not luck at all.  I saw that I was sick, and I set out on a quest to get healthy.  Tarot was an intrinsic part of that for me.  I am telling this story because I was as broken as a person can possibly be, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and nearly physically, and if I can heal to emerge stronger, better, happier, and ever more sure of my purpose, I promise you anyone can.  You just have to want to be well more than you want whatever you are addicted to (for me it was getting my validation from the men I was with), and you have to chase your health down, being ever patient but firm with yourself about the way things are going to be from here on out.

Today, my mantra is happy, healthy, holy, wealthy, and I live in each moment like it is a gift.  If you aren't able to do yet, please know that one day, if you make the effort, you will be able to.  God will meet you anywhere, even, no, especially, in the depths of your own personal hell.  Love to you.  Blessings to you.  You deserve it all, and you can have it all!

The Five of Pentacles is by artist JR Maloney.
The Eight of Swords is by artist Ian Jones.
The Seven of Cups is by artist Scott Ellis.

The Sun is by artist Dave Sanchez.

These cards are from Tarot of the Tattoo Age, a collaborative project self published by Flaco Productions, LLC.

If you (he) are reading this, please know that I thank you for every good memory, of which I have so many to choose from, and I hold no grudge or ill will.  I feel only warmth and love when I think of you, no resentment or sadness, and I wish you every good thing life has to offer.  I am sorry for the ways I wronged you, and if you care for my forgiveness, you have had it for a long time.  Be well, be blessed, be loved and love in return.  You deserve nothing less.