Daily Draw - Tempering the Mask

Book of Azathoth Tarot- Two of Pentacles

Today the October dark deck fest continues with an independently published Book of Azathoth Tarot.  The images in this deck do contain nudity, so if that's not your jam here is your opportunity to not have your eyes defiled.

The Two of Pentacles is not part of this reading.  He is just here to provide a little balance, to give my readers the chance to decide if they want to see a penis in the next set of cards or not.  Just like the rest of life, it's perfectly acceptable to play with the Pentacles a little before committing to the whole thing, and you can change your mind at any time.

I pulled a threesome of Major Arcana, which is always slightly alarming, and I don't find the images in this deck to be comforting and warm.  They are non-offensive, to me, but I am notoriously hard to offend, so don't let that be your guide post.

I have an incredibly difficult time trusting God, which sounds audacious to me even in my own mind.  It's not because I think I am not blessed, because I know I am.  Just by being born in America I am in a better situation than most of the world, and there are things every day that I am grateful for and know speak the presence of the Divine in my life.  It's not because I think I am owed more, because I know that God truly does help those who help themselves, and I need to do a little more for myself before I start telling God to do for me, too.  And it's not because I think I am not loved, because I do think God loves me, but in an impersonal way, the way all of humanity is loved, the way I love all animals, a lot, but the way the Zoe dog and those fatty ratties actually hold my heart, no I don't think I am loved like that.

The Book of Azathoth Tarot - The Hierophant, The Devil, Temperance

When we are little, our parents wear the mask of God for us.  They teach us about dependability, unconditional, and sometimes conditional, love, trust, grace, and the Divine.  But when our parents do not have a good grasp of those things themselves they cannot pass them along to us, and I, like a lot of people, have struggled to separate God from my fear of my tempestuous mother, the total absence of my father, and the judgment of the grandfather who undeniably loved me, and was undeniably disappointed by me on the regular.  I see this in the Hierophant, the representative of God here on earth,  wearing a mask and sitting on a throne, untouchable and unknowable.

And in our quest for something we can touch and know, somewhere we can feel safe, loved, accepted, we often find it easier and quicker to turn to excess- shopping, food, sex, alcohol, pills, escapism through video games, books, television, gossip, marijuana, and even harder drugs.  These things do not judge us, they do not condemn us, they can take the place of broken families and broken images of God, but they ultimately destroy us.  None of those things is wrong when not given a place above our own well being in our lives, but if we are using them as crutches rather than healing the broken pieces of ourselves, the Devil has truly taken root.  Anything that controls our lives and covers our hurt is an addiction, and it's the easiest thing in the world to stay in bondage to those things until we die.

Temperance is the great healer.  When we are tempered, we can enjoy a glass of wine without entering a binge.  We can eat a slice of cheesecake and enjoy it instead of needing to devour the whole cake in an effort to fill a vast hole.  If we partake, we can enjoy a mellow high without needing to get high to enjoy life.  We can have sex out of love and desire for closeness, or even just for fun, without feeling it turn into a desperate plea for validation, a distraction from our lives.  We shop for things we need and will enjoy, but we are not under a compulsion to buy, buy, buy, fill fill fill.

But the kicker is I cannot tell you about your path to Temperance, to being healed.  I cannot even tell you mine, because I don't know it, at least not the whole of it, and so much of it is discovered by the way the road feels beneath our feet.  The thing that stands out to me about this trio of cards, though, is that the Hierophant is both observing and being observed, and the Devil is a vignette of horrors to watch, but the angel of Temperance is actually doing.  And so I know that if I want to move forward, I too must actually do, not just wish and hope and think and despair and talk, but put one foot in front of the other, one word after the other, one digit after the other in making phone calls to people who can help, and actively work on healing myself rather than waiting for it to simply happen.

I am finding these dark decks to be thought provoking too, which I suppose is a by product of exploring the darker aspects of the psyche.  This reading is part of a series I am doing in the month of October featuring dark, spooky, creepy, and Halloween themed decks.  I am sure some of them will yield lighter reading.  Please share your favorites with me!

These cards are from The Book of Azathoth Tarot available at Nemo's Locker.

Soul Mates and Twin Flames- The Difference?

Tonight on Unearthly Encounters Live! with +Mackenzie Knight was a fascinating show with Dr. Georgina Cannon, whose website is so interesting, too!

My favorite question of the evening, because I love love, and all interactions between people fascinate me, was to explain the difference between Soul Mates and Twin Flames.  In my tarot practice, I spend a lot of time with my clients explaining how I do not believe there is only one soul mate for everyone, that if the person they think is it is not behaving as if they are, that does not mean they have used up all their chances for love, and so on.  These are important questions, and I do not mind answering them over and over, because people need love and if it is important to my clients it is important to me.

Dr. Cannon explained that in her view, a Soul Mate is any person with whom we have a karmic bond, and whom we learn lessons with.  She was clear that not all Soul Mate relationships feel good and not all interactions between soul mates are positive ones.

A Twin Flame, on the other hand, is a Soul that has been split into two and inhabits two bodies.  They are drawn to each other.

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery- Justice

I am fascinated by this concept, and I want to know what my cards have to say on the matter.  So I asked, because what else would I do?

What is the essence of a Soul Mate relationship?  Justice...  Oh you funny, ironic, cards.  Justice is inextricably bound with karma, reaping what we have sown, an equal and opposite reaction to our actions.  This certainly backs up Dr. Cannon's words, that Soul Mates are here for reapings, lessons, and to play out on a karmic stage.

The creator describes this card as "VIII.  Justice- the Cardinal Virtue- balances the Soul of Reason.  She is impartial, uses her scales to find truth, and is obligated to put truth into action.  She hands her sword to her champion, the knight, who is sworn by the code of chivalry to serve Lady Justice, defend virtue, and the honor of women.  She teaches that might does not make right but that might must serve truth and virtue."

These are qualities that can be found in romantic relationships, but they are not the primary ones most of us are seeking from our partners, on a conscious level at least, so I think the cards are supporting Dr. Cannon's theories.

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery- Strength

What is the essence of a Twin Flames relationship?  Strength... Again, you funny, ironic cards- Robert M. Place has decided to use European numbering for his Trumps, where Justice occupies Trump VIII and Strength Trump XI.  In most decks we use in America, besides the Thoth based ones, Justice is found at Trump XI and Strength at Trump VIII.  The cards are playing with us a bit here, demonstrating that Justice and Strength are so similar, with similar virtues, and the concepts of Soul Mates and Twin Flames share that similarity.  They seem interchangeable to us at times, and sometimes the distinction is not important.

"XI.  Strength- the Cardinal Virtue- balances the Soul of Will.  She represents discipline and power.  The lion has muscular strength, yet Lady Strength guides him with the touch of her finger, as she guides the other domesticated animals.  Her power comes from self-control, love, and the lemniscate that is beyond time.  She guides the Lion because the Lion loves her.  She is the virtue of the heart."

Now, for a card we are expecting to describe romantic love, we might be looking for the Lovers, the Two of Cups, the Ace of the same suit, and Strength might seem out of place, except for that one symbol, the lemniscate, the symbol for eternity, never ending cycle, over the Lady's head.  This card demonstrates a love that is untouched by time or distance, one that is a mutually compassionate relationship, that each partner grows in and needs to be whole.  Because of the nature of the Strength card, there is no co-dependency here, no needy clingy, just pure, unadulterated love.  And the dogs.  IS there any purer love than a dog for its' master?

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery- Temperance

What is the difference between Soul Mates and Twin Flames?  Temperance- I am not sure this card is so much explaining the difference, because really, I may have asked a dumb question, so I am getting a dumb answer, which is my fault, but explaining that we need both to function, to thrive, to grow, to become who we are truly meant to be.  Passions and emotions, love, loathing, light, dark- all of it is part of a giant cocktail and all of our lives are made up of each component.  No choices about what exactly we get, but infinite choices about how we mix those core ingredients around.

Because this reading is all Major Arcana, I believe I am working with archetypal energies, things that are certain and true about the Universe, that I may not be able to really change (not that I want to).  I think it is fully possible that Dr. Cannon's words are fresh in my head so I helped draw the cards that would support her theories, but I also think there is strong evidence that the cards are agreeing with her.  I do not know Dr. Cannon's work well, but I do know my cards, and I trust them, which is really trusting the benevolent, loving Source that powers their placement and answers, and I trust my intuition, which is really just trusting my highest self.





These cards are from The Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery, self published by Robert M. Place, available here.

Daily Draw- Eight of Cups, Temperance, Queen of Swords

There are a good many times in life when I have had to be taught and/or convinced that when a situation no longer works I am just best off leaving, and that is not abandonment.  I have loyalty issues, because once I give it I want it to be forever.

Mystic Dreamer Tarot- Eight of Cups, Temperance, Queen of Swords

The Eight of Cups, like most of them, is leaving a situation, although we often see a configuration of Cups in which some, but not all, of them are standing up.  This situation I am about to turn away from may, in fact, not really be inherently not working, but that still doesn't mean it is right for me.  The figure turns to leave, clutching her violin.  I played violin as as a teenager, and while I liked it a great deal, I did not love it.  She does love it, and that is why it goes with her wherever she may roam.  As long as she has the most important aspect of herself, nothing else matters.

To me, Temperance is a funny Major Arcana.  As an archetype I can get with the idea of being a mystical mix master of sorts, and I understand the metaphor of blending opposites.  In practice of the way I read, it most often appears as managing the details of day to day life.  I gotta do this, go here, write that, make this class, this kid thing, on and on.  Oh yeah, and keep my house clean so that is pleasurable to live and cook in for all of us.  Although my anxiety issues are less and less as I am more in control of how my days work, and as I live in this very happy home life, Temperance appeared a lot for me as needing to manage my circumstances as much as I am able to keep my anxiety issues from rearing their head.  Keeping a schedule helps me be less anxious.  Because both of the other cards are leaning into Temperance, and it is right there in the middle, as well as being the only Major Arcana, I know this card is the lynch pin of the reading.

Mystic Dreamer Tarot- Queen of Cups

The Queen of Swords is my second aspect in Queens, the Queen of Pentacles being my first.  She represents my Libra ascendent in my astrological chart, and the rising sign is the mask we wear for the world to see.  The Queen of Swords is probably happy with letting people perceive her as suits her best.  She is also practical, and quick witted.  As I put these cards together I can see that I have no need for guilt, and as I refer back to The Devil, my lens for the week, I am thinking that guilt is a huge shadow issue for me and needs to go.

To reaffirm that thought, the Shadow Card of the reading is the Queen of Cups.  She is far less in control of her emotions than her counterpart, the Queen of Swords, and if she is ill aspected she can be a guilt mongering, either beating herself or others up with her innate knowledge of what will most hurt.  Guilt is a strange emotion, really serving no purpose, because if we really thought we shouldn't do whatever we feel guilty about, most of us would stop.  It is kind of a filler emotion, and it puts on a show.

Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle- Self-Worth

The card I drew from Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle is Self-Worth.  When our Self-Worth is high, we don't engage in useless emotions like guilt, we leave untenable situations, and we arrange our lives in such a way that pleases us best while working with our loved ones.  Feeling our true Self-Worth makes us sure we can say what we need to say, as compassionately as possible, and when we come from a place of love our words always ring true.

The companion book says this about the card, "When you draw this symbol, you are asked to consider: What value do you place on yourself in life?" From these words combined with the tarot reading, I can know that sometimes the most loving act, for me, and for others, is in fact to do what is best for me, no guilt, no getting tripped up in useless emotions that do not serve to get me where I want to be.



These cards are from Mystic Dreamer Tarot by Heidi Darras and Barbara Moore, published by Llewellyn, and Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle by P.C. Cast and Colette Baron Reid, published by Potter Style.

Deck Interview with Tarot of the Mystic Spiral

Tarot of the Mystic Spiral- The Stars, Temperance, The Hanged Man

All Majors tell me this is a deck with something to say, right off the bat!  I like it.  Mars and Venus are conjunct for me, and I have found that makes me crave intensity.

I want very much to go back to daily blogging and weekly use of a single deck, because that has been the time I have been happiest with my personal tarot practice, and I am an advocate for going with what works.  This week I have chosen Tarot of the Mystic Spiral, illustrated by Giuseppe Palumbo, with the Little White Book written by Giovanni Pelosini, published in 2011 by Lo Scarabeo.

The first question was, "What can I expect from you as a deck?"  The Stars, a bright omen of healing and tenderness, as well as the eternal symbol of hope.  I find this rendition exceptionally beautiful, as well, the misty air and of course the gorgeous femininity.  I can expect this deck to always be pointing the way to beauty, hope, and healing.  That is a pretty great quality in a deck!

The second question was, "What shall be my end of the bargain?"  and Temperance was the answer, which is amusing to me, because learning to be temperate is one of my life's biggest lessons.  I think of this card as the active management of life, and I think of it as "doing the work" ala Steven Pressfield.  So, to work effectively with this deck I need to remember that slow and steady wins the race.  This is another healing card, being associated with Sagittarius, where my Moon sign lays, so I can know that this deck is going to appeal to my emotions at times, and help me to process them in a healthy way.

Anything else I should be aware of?  The Hanged Man.  This deck is not a quickfire kind of read.  I will have to invest some time and be willing to change my perspective to garner the most use from it.  All three cards are intensely positive cards, but none are fast moving cards.  For example, The Star is hopeful, but wishing on a star is not the kind of intense and immediate optimism The Sun brings when it breaks through the clouds.  Temperance is about alchemical process, and anyone who took high school chemistry knows that the work behind the great experiences is methodical, and can be quite tedious at times.  The Hanged Man might blow in the wind but he isn't going anywhere too fast.

Tarot of the Mystic Spiral- Two of Cups

The Shadow card, which I understand as what the reading is about, or a little tidbit I am overlooking, is the Two of Cups.  My basic understanding of the card has to do with sacred contracts, and the lovers in this card are literally entwining themselves together.  As I come back to my work while healing from a difficult injury, I am reminded that doing what we love is the sacred path we are given to walk on, and it is no coincidence I have chosen this specific deck to work with this week.  The picture of the lovers coming together, as close as physically possible the better to reflect in the corporeal world their spiritual closeness, is a representation of the sacred contract with have with ourselves, to grow, to learn, to be the best we can be, and to shine out into the world as such.





These cards are from Tarot of the Mystic Spiral by Giovanni Pelosini and Giuseppe Palumbo, published by Lo Scarabeo.

Daily Draw - The Empress, Queen of Wands, Temperance

Today these cards, the passionate Queen of Wands sandwiched between two Majors, want to talk to me, like this whole deck has seemed to this week, about my creative life.  Temperance is also a card of doing, like the Emperor of yesterday, and she is actively managing her life, so that the Queen of Wands is free to be passionate about the way her garden grows, with the help of the Empress.

I feel like garbage, physcially, so I don't have lots to write, but I get it.  I feel too sick to do much about it, but I get it.  The advice of the lady Arcana in this reading for me is to nurture myself, and get with the program, doing what I know I need to in order to feel better.





These cards come from the Paulina Tarot by Paulina Cassidy for U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw - Queen of Swords, Four of Swords, Temperance

These cards look like the way I parent the kids, the way The Man parents, and the happy balance between them.

I am all Queen of Swords, which is not surprising since I have Libra, the ruler of this Queen, rising in my natal chart.  Rising signs are the mask we display to the world, and I struggle to be intensely fair, not least because one of our kids is an intense Libra himself, and he calls every single thing he perceives as "not fair".  I also have two stepsons, which is an altogether new experience for me.  Kids I am old hat with, but kids that go back to their mama who is likely drilling them for information about how they live here, not so much.  I try very hard to give logical consequences, and rewards, to behavior and situations, but I love all of them, to little bitty pieces, which is why I think we see the watery Queen here rather than a harsher card.

And it annoys the ever living bejesus out of me that my husband is much more lackadaisical where the kids are concerned, much like it looks like the Queen of Swords is brandishing her sword at the relaxed fellow in the Four of Swords.  I want my home in order and he wants to snooze.  Grrrr...

The last card, Temperance, speaks of how both elements are necessary to blending a happy family, how we are probably a good combination as parents, that I shore him up where he is weak, and he does the same for me, how our strengths complement each other, too.  I often think of temperance as the active management of our lives, the things we do to make it better, and this card illustrates it nicely with the chemist mixing up his draught.  (Is it wrong to hope it's a sleeping draught for kids?)  I also see keeping the kiddos busy as a great way to avoid conflict, because if they are too busy to fight then they become to tired to fight and no fighting over inane stuff makes me a happy mom.  And you know what they say...

And so concludes my very pleasant week with the Prairie Tarot.





These cards are from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.

WTF Tarot - Why Am I So Grouchy?

Welcome to a new section in my blogging, WTF Tarot.  Many, many times I shuffle thinking exactly that, and I get good answers!

So, WTF, tarot!  Why am I so grouchy tonight?  Nine of Cups... Seriously?  I am in such a foul mood because I pretty much have everything I ever wanted?  What kind of ungrateful brat am I?  The Man is in the kitchen, doing dishes, an act I would normally find unbearably sexy, but it is just annoying me now.  I should be doing the dishes.  I am the one that works at home now, and it's my kids that dirtied the dishes, and I hate that he feels like he should do them even though he worked all day.

But... I worked all day too.  That is actually my biggest hurdle I am finding, separating work from relaxing time.  And I don't want to do the dishes tonight.  I would rather do them with the bright morning sunshine streaming in the window, listening to the radio, planning the evening's meal.  Right now I just want to read, and lay in bed with a bowl of popcorn and a soda and something mindless to distract.

Second biggest hurdle - Here I am, safe and warm and loved, I am so loved right now, just me as I am, warts and ridiculous number of tarot decks and moodiness and full Taurean-ness and all, and this is probably the first time in my entire life that has been the case.  Even my mama didn't love me unconditionally.  I am pursuing my life's dreams, writing, tarot, and I have my family all together every single night, and those are the only things in life I have ever really wanted.  And I spend sooooo damn much time worrying about losing it.

So what can I do about that?  Temperance- I get this stupid, stinky ol' card when I am not doing a good job of actively managing the details of my life.  I get this card when my anxiety is flaring and I know moving my body and eating right and meditating and yoga-ing out would help and I know that but sometimes it just seems like so much work to go through just to function as a normal human being.  I get this card because that angel is not going to do my work for me.  He has his own.  I have to actually do it myself, and in the practical application of good ideas is where I fall apart.  Inspiration I have in spades.  Or maybe Wands.  But I struggle with the details.

I guess I gotta go to bed now.  The yoga isn't going to stretch itself come 5am.  Any possibility that angel over there is mixing me a Cosmo?





These cards, on whom my foul mood should not be blamed, are from the Morgan Greer Tarot by Bill F. Greer and David Morgan for U.S. Games.

Daily Draw - Temperance

I am not the most temperate person I know, so I am actually surprised this card does not pop up more often for me, as advice, as what I need more of in my life. Sometimes, though, Temperance is about the blending of opposites, as well as the quality of moderation. So, what opposites do I need to blend?

I am enamored of the angel's beautiful, colorful wings. I think the colors in this deck are surpassingly lovely, all around.





This card is from the Rumi Tarot by Nigel Jackson for Llewellyn.