Bonefire Tarot- Judgement

Bonefire Tarot- Judgment

Today's card comes an exquisitely rendered and self published deck, Bonefire Tarot, self published by Gabrielle West.

Whenever I see the Judgment card I have to decide quickly if I feel it is referring to the biblical Day of Judgment, a concept which can span any theology or none at all when we consider it a day of reckoning, or a second chance, or if I feel it referring to literal meaning of the word- to judge.

Tarot cards never fail to entrance and delight me by managing to convey so many nuances of life and love, and so as I look through this card as the lends for my week I know I am likely to see both, and even more, meanings emerge from the card.

I am immediately struck by the ticking clock, which is on fire, adding to the urgency of the situation.  Judgment Day is coming, and no one can stop it, and neither can we know for sure the time it will arrive.  This is a distinctly Christian idea, but we can all apply to our lives and our journeys because the truth is the time we have to act on Earth will end for all of us, regardless of religious beliefs, and we aren't given to know when.  We just have to do the best we can with our finite time and make it all count.  I feel that especially lately, as my kids have grown to the point they do not need constant care and attention but still a good deal of it.

The golden hammer and gavel speak to a judgment being passed, possibly from an impossible position, as the richness of the tool places firmly out of my (current) reach.

The tattoos across the face remind me of the song lyrics by Jordin Sparks- "You're still a part of everything I do, just like a tattoo."  We end relationships of all types for myriad reasons, and many of them are just because it was right, but many people leave their stamps on our souls and they remain there.  I have dreamt this past week of a former lover, which is exquisite in both the memory of the immense love and the pain it causes.  We couldn't stay together, not least because I belong where I am now, married to my handsome man and taking this family where we are all meant to be, but in that time and that place I believe utterly that we needed to be together, too.  I have to, or all the tears and the constant undertone of love that never leaves, even when physical presence does, were in vain.

Do you tend to read the Judgment card as a kind of phoenix, or do you feel the discomfort of being judged, or maybe the righteous smugness of doing the judging?






This card is from Bonefire Tarot, self published by Gabrielle West, who you can contact at her site- http://www.bonefiretarot.com/

Resistance, With a Capital "R"

When I attended the well received webinar this morning many of my questions about this deck were answered, but many more were raised, which is, in my opinion, the sign of a good class.  I had a wonderful time and I look forward to interacting with the other attendees and hopefully another webinar in the future!

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Starseed (The Fool)

One of the things Patrica Cori suggested was that we should each spend some time with this card, which is Trump 0, The Fool, but called Starseed in this deck because that is its' premise- that some of us arrive on Earth as Starseeds, with the approval or instruction of the Sirian High Council, to have some experiences or to learn some lessons, and to ultimately return, through Ascension (which, incidentally, is Trump XXI in this deck, The World) with information to share.  Her suggestion was to figure how how we relate to this card, because if we are attracted to this deck, we are a Starseed, and through meditation upon the image would realize it.

No problem, I thought to myself.  I have this laid up back and I am not really allowed to do much but lay around, read, and think, so I have plenty of time to spend with this card.  Not so!  Did you know there are two kinds of resistance (yes, I know technically more but my posts have been epic lately, so I need to keep it trim)?  There is resistance with a lower case "r" which basically means you just don't feel like doing something, and there is Resistance, with a capital "R", which means you need, absolutely must, for the good of your soul and all of humanity, do, or usually create, a particular thing, but suddenly everything else seems more important.  For example, if I was tired or over medicated so I took a nap instead of doing the meditation with this card, that would be small "r" resistance.  But nooooo, suddenly I was taken with the urge to shampoo the carpets, something which would have my husband and my surgeon simultaneously having separate but equally large cows, and while I did not clean my carpets (I only spent the rest of the afternoon Pinning ways I could) that is an excellent example of Resistance with a capital "R", the kind that happens because you are meant to be doing something, and I had a massive dose of that yesterday.  Most artists, writers, and creative will be familiar with capital "R" Resistance because we usually get it when we are about to do, write, or create something really, massively important, and suddenly we'd rather do the dishes, clean the grout, reorganize our social media, or any other mundane, boring thing we usually put off and dread, because the fear of bringing the thing we must bring into the world is worse than the utter boredom and mindlessness of these chores.  Capital "R" Resistance is closely related to fear and shame and feelings of inadequacy.

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Karma (Judgment)

So, to have that kind of reaction tells me there is something important in this deck for me and I want to know the source of my capital "R" Resistance, so I asked the deck.  It answered with Karma.  The title itself, when taken just as the word, is very telling, and relates back to both of the posts I have already made about the deck, first, and second.  It's a lot of information to recap, but basically I struggle with a lot of self esteem issues, a few of which are just good common sense, because I earned them, in this life (and I am working on rectifying that, as I can), some of which are cellular, racial memory, some of which are, I am ashamed to admit, probably a way of drawing attention to myself and getting people to say nice things to me to boost my ego ("Oh, Mandy, you're so smart, pretty, talented.") and some of which I just don't know where they come from.  Being human, I suppose.

Secondly, Karma is a huge part of being a Starseed, as I understand it (and please understand that my understanding of this concept IS limited) so that made me think maybe there is something to this Starseed thing and if there is I am going to be learning some things and when I learn those things I am going to be expected to do better, which is basically a continuation of my mini rant in the Master of Flames section in this post.

Then there is the imagery, which is where all tarot must begin and end, as it is a visual language.  If you just want to work with 78, or 156, if you use reversals, premade meanings, choose them, write them on index cards, and be done with it.  It will be cheaper than a tarot deck, and less work on your part as a reader.  What this picture looks like most to me, at first glance, is a babe emerging from the birth canal, although this rendition is much prettier than the real deal (hell, no I do not want a mirror to watch, thank you, blessed, wonderful midwife who is helping me get through this natural birth), if that is even what the lovely lady creators meant to evoke.  There are other aspects to the card, but that is my strongest impression of it at this moment, so that is the most important thing about it, this time at least.  The next time I draw the card it may be something else, for this is how intuition works with tarot, and all images.

This card is Trump XX, relating to Judgment in a Waite Smith tradition deck, and that card has its' own connotations and issues for me.  For myself, in my personal readings, it is often a spiritual call to awakening, or a reminder that my spiritual life is as important as my physical one, and deserves attention, too.  I also often read it as something along the lines of the old adage, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."   To me, that means that you may hear The Call, but only you can decide if you will answer it, and if you will, in what fashion.

So there is my answer- my Resistance with a capital "R" is that I am karmically linked to this deck in some way, and that I am not sure I am ready to undertake the responsibility of being so.  Not only that, but if indeed it is a spiritual call to action for me, I am not sure how or if I will answer.  It is taking me out of my comfort zone, and while I know I must leave that place to grow, it's warm and snuggly here, and I have always been the type that has to get a cosmic backhand to "get" my lessons.

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Eight of Orbs (Swords)

What is my advice to deal with this Resistance?  The Eight of Orbs, which relate to Swords, or communications, thoughts, ideas, and words.

This woman is completed entangled in the vines, but the thing is they were grown from her own words and self doubt.  She can free herself by changing her thoughts, and the words she uses.

This image, incidentally, does not stray far from traditional Waite Smith imagery, while some of the cards do.

The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind... (It very well may be; Orbs/Swords are usually related to the element of Air, and in this deck definitely are.)

I think my glibness is in part to hide my discomfort, because my cerebral brain is having a very hard time wrapping itself around the possibility of me being a Starseed.  I am also scared silly of being laughed at if I find out I am, in fact, a Starseed, something special, and I am responsible for now owning that title.  I have no doubts that each one of you is something special, and I would assure you over and over you were, if I were asked or felt it was necessary, but I have a hard time seeing that in myself.

I would say this cards' answer to my question, what is my advice to counteract this Resistance, is that I am to free my mind, so that the rest can follow.  I should be very aware of my inner dialogue, and the ways I use that to limit myself and my potential.  I was absolutely sobbing earlier today, on my knees, head to the floor (no easy feat with this back), praying/pleading/sobbing that I be shown how I can bring in enough money to pay for the things my kids need to become who they are meant to be (those are music lessons, art supplies, sports, theater, school trips to DC, college for the oldest two, lawyer fees while we try to get two of them more often, because watching my kids blossom as they do these things has me convinced and convicted that they need them to grow into what they were brought onto this Earth to be).  This is a harsh lesson, but as I think I mentioned before, I learn all mine the hard way, and this card is telling me my internal dialogue is absolutely strangling who I am meant to be and all that I am meant to offer to this world.

Sirian Starseed Tarot- Guidance (Hierophant)

The Shadow Card, which is the card at the bottom of the deck for me (there is a card in this deck called The Shadow and if I draw it we will deal with it then) which I consider either a little extra bit of information, or because we have placed it as far from ourselves as possible, something we don't want to know, or deal with, is my old friend from Monday, Guidance.  I smiled the biggest grin when I saw this card, and I believe it is here to comfort me, because this has been a rough, deeply personal, and very raw reading, and I am sharing it publicly.  I get so much loving energy from this card, and I believe it appeared to show me I am not alone, I am Divinely guided, and never, not for a moment, forgotten, and neither are you.

I guess I ended up with another very long post, but I think these cards have a lot to say, and they are dragging up a lot of things deep inside me, which is probably another source of the capital "R" Resistance.  Thank you again for sticking with me.

These cards are from The Sirian Starseed Tarot by Patricia Cori and Alysa Bartha, published by North  Atlantic Books.

Love on American Idol?

I was chatting with Tierney, who writes The Daily Draw, highly recommended tarot reading, about the chemistry we both perceive between American Idol contestants Elise Testone and Phillip Phillips.  Since I have these magical cards at my disposal I decided to pull a couple and get to the bottom of this.  The first card represents how Elise feels about Phillip, the second how Phillip feels about Elise, and the third card in the middle is the energy that is currently flowing between them and the potential of their relationship.

Fantastical Creatures Tarot- Two of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Judgment

How does Elise feel about Phillip?  Two of Pentacles: These dancing fey are totally adorable together, which is the feeling I get when I see these two singing together.  They balance a ball of pure energy between them.  I think that Elise feels the energy between them, and sees they make magic together when they sing.  She may almost float on air around him.  However, they have many things to juggle at this exact moment and she may be quite aware of all the pressures around them.  She may even have a love interest at home, and she is trying to balance her personal feelings with her big dreams and "regular" life.

How does Phillip feel about Elise?  Ten of Cups:  This image is literally the Muses.  She is inspiring to him, she understands his art, and frankly brings him joy.  He can picture a happy ending with her.  However, to choose one muse may be to forsake the others, and he may not be ready for that just yet.

What is the energy between them?  Judgment:  In this time and this place, they are equals, equally talented, equally important, equally beautiful.  They are great foils to each other.  However, the nature of this competition insists that won't always be the case, at least as it relates to this television program.  Even so, the basic nature of their relationship will remain constant, and they have great potential to evolve and grow together.  Because this is the only Major in the reading, I believe it carries the most weight.  I believe they will either part ways completely after the show, or remain close throughout their lives, no room for middle ground, acquaintance level relations.  No matter how the romance aspect of the relationship plays out, at this moment the relationship is a pivotal one, and may remain so.

There is definite potential for a love blossoming in these cards, and no red flags to nay say the possibility.  These are cards of people who certainly have the ability to build upon their chemistry to create a beautiful relationship that defines them both for many years.  It depends on how they arrange their priorities and what they both desire for their futures.

As for me, these are my favorite singers of this year's crop, and I will cry big fat tears when either of them may go home.  I think they should sing together forever because they complement and enrich each other, becoming more than the sum of their individual artistry.  Good luck to both of them, on the show, in their future careers, and in love!





These cards are from Fantastical Creatures Tarot by D.J. Conway and Lisa Hunt, published by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

Daily Draw- Judgment, Five of Swords, Empress

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Judgement, Five of Swords, The Empress

Today I am using a spread I have often used called Thorhammer's Daily Spread, which was crafted by someone I knew on a forum, a lovely Australian lady named Kat.  The positions are "What I Did Well Today", "What to Leave Behind From Today" and "What to Carry Forward From Today".

What I did well today- Judgment:  Generally speaking, Judgment is a card that urges me to spiritual self care, to listening to the call I am hearing, so that I am not left behind as others move forward.  That is a kind of generic meaning for that card, for me.  This one features a lightning bolt bearing god and a more distant angel, supplicants offering what they may have, and one soul turning away, choosing to remain a dessicated corpse.  It's a heavy card, deep with meaning.  Today, I made a vat of chili, wrote a little, and laid about, resting up from some sleepless nights and the rock concert last night.  In that way, I cared for myself, gave myself a respite I really needed, so I followed the meaning of the card I have, but the imagery of this card is not necessarily restful or of a calling nature.  I did not have any great epiphanies, except to not rub one's eyes immediately after dicing jalapenos, so I struggled a bit for the meaning of this card for me today.

I think today, this card is more about forgiveness, and the proper dispensing of Judgment.  And the person I forgave was me.  Usually I am very hard on myself, and while I work at home, discipline is a part of getting that work done.  In most circumstances, had I essentially taken the day off work, I would have beaten myself up terribly for that, but today I just went with it.  The little nap and the mindless tv watching has left me refreshed.

What I need to leave behind from today- Five of Swords:  I don't need to fight, and I don't need to "win".  I experienced a bit of a bump in the road of a longtime friendship today, and this particular person and I are notorious for bumping heads, and hard.  I could very clearly see where I thought he was in the wrong today in our conversation, but I decided to just let it go, because it's his life to lead, not mine, and his lesson to learn, if it is his time, and even assuming that I am right where I think I am.  I don't need to win at any cost, and people's feelings matter more to me than being right.  At least that is what I am working on.

What to carry forward from today- Empress:  More cooking tomorrow, more cleaning and laundry, because when you have five kids that never ends.  I take extreme delight in the small pleasures of home and hearth, and I enjoy making my home pleasant, so this card is not a surprise.  After finishing NaNoWriMo about a week ago, I have found the habit of writing at l east 1,667 words is sticking, so that creativity, at a good clip even, continues to flow, and the Empress is all about nurturing the creative aspect of ourselves, as well as others.  And incidentally, I find it far easier to write with a full and warm belly at a clean desk without chores weighing on my mind, so by taking care of those things I am freeing myself for other work I like more.

Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot- Knight of Coins

The shadow card of this reading is the Knight of Coins, slow and steady wins the race.  Energy to get projects started, that I have in spades, but what really determines success is not so much that we can start things, but that we can see them through.  Writing books, building a business, nurturing a marriage, raising kids, these are all long haul, big picture concepts, and I am working on being consistent in my efforts with each rather than the explosive surges of energy I have at various times.  I need to utilize those, as well, but I need to build a life of good habits, because how we spend our days becomes how we spend our lives, and we see more return for the little consistencies than for the sun spark burst method of reaching goals.





These cards are from The Deirdre of the Sorrows Tarot Deck by Deirdre O'Donaghue and Wayne McGuire, available from her website, Tarot Unlocked.

Daily Draw - Knight of Cups, Judgment, Four of Swords

Good morning from much-cooler-than-Colorado northern California!

Today these cards show how I procrastinate at times, running away from what I should be doing, like the naughty Knight of Cups, and how sometimes I need a pretty big wake up call, like we see in Judgment, and how that often leaves me having painted myself into a corner, or trapped and gnawing at my own paw like the fox in the Four of Swords.  These cards are so over the top, with the fleeing Knight, the angel of Judgment with his puffed up cheeks and eyes squeezed tight as he blows that horn as hard as he can so there can be no doubt it's time to get up, and the sad little fox, so clever but still caught.

A good example of this is the trip to San Francisco.  I have known for at least six months when it would be, where it would be, that I was going, and what I needed to pack.  Did I deal with any of that?  No, I did not.  I was frantically packing the morning of, and The Man was frustrated with me, as he should have been.  I was also frantic about leaving kids and pets, when a little more advance planning would have set my mind at ease, so I ended up with a big mess of my own making.  I set my own trap and put my paw right in it.

Judgment is one of those cards that I often dread seeing for other people when I read for them, as it really doesn't say much of anything to me for most other people, but in my personal readings it is almost always a call to reminder of paying attention to my spiritual health and practices.  Perfectionism and procrastination are two sides of the same coin, and one way the monkey mind occupies itself when I give it time to.  Judgment is usually a not so gentle prodding to me to get my spiritual affairs back in order, to pay attention to what I am telling myself, and to meditation if I have let it slide, which I almost always have when this card appears.





These cards are from the Tarot of Durer published by Lo Scarabeo.

The Next Step

This week I will using the recently released Tarot of the Sidhe by Emily Carding.  This is the 78 card version from Schiffer books, which is lovely and very inexpensive from Amazon.

I have not been blogging, not been writing, not been doing much of anything, really, except hanging onto at least one of my children by the skin of my teeth.  This child seemed bent on destroying the world, himself, and everyone who got in his way, but things seem to be on an upward swing for all of us now.

I was also having a bit of a dark night of the soul kinda thing with tarot, not to be overly dramatic, but I was all out of faith, for myself, most of all.

I also fell in love, which while wonderful and fantastic and amazing, has proved to be quite time consuming...

So, shuffling my new and amazing deck, I asked what comes next for me and tarot.

Judgment- the traditional imagery of this trump is Gabriel blowing his horn, awakening the dead to a new life in Christ.  Morbid, yes, I think so, but central to the idea of Christianity is the shedding of the old skin, old life, old sins, old way of doing things, and walking in faith into a new one.  Jesus and I are not currently on the best of terms, so I prefer this faery woman.  Is she beautiful?  No, not to my eyes, though regal and majestic fit well.  It may be a mistake to expect our angels and deities to be beautiful when what we really need is powerful.

What I see most of all is her, and her companions, far in the background, holding steady in their truth.  What I feel this means for me, as a tarot reader, as a person, is that now is a time for me to put to rest everything that has not been working for me, and to let truth be my guidance from this point forward.  I'm ready to let my past be part of me, but no longer define me.  As it relates specifically to tarot, I am ready to follow my own rules, and begin a new, more fulfilling journey with these seventy eight cards, seventy eight insights, seventy eight whispers.





This image is from the Tarot of the Sidhe by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Daily Draw - The Devil, Queen of Wands, Judgment

Look how much fire in this set of cards!

The chains of the Devil can't hold back the fiery Queen of Wands.  She simply transforms to the phoenix of Judgment, which succinctly captures the essence of this card.

I have the feeling that the Lord of the Gates of Matter (the Devil) here is causing the Queen of Wands to be poorly aspected.  I do not read reversals, because I don't like looking at upside down images, but I do believe all cards have a range of meaning.  The Devil is not always "bad", and the Queen here is charismatic, dynamic, and passionate, and those are fantastic qualities, but they can also turn tumultuous at times.  The Queen of Wands is the Queen I least associate myself with, but she probably does represent me today.

These cards tell me it would be a good day for me to speak humbly, act humbly, work actively to shed some of the bad habits that I know are holding me back.  Doing so will be freeing to me.





These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.

Something to Do, Something to Think About, Something to Love

This spread came from Tarot Dame, who writes a great blog that you probably already know if you are reading mine.  *grin*

I was thinking how to best spend my time today, and I mixed up the positions, and mine were Something to Do - Four of Swords, Something to Think About - Judgment, and Something to Love - Page of Cups, which is clarified by the Four of Cups for me today.

My something to do is to rest, which is needed with my borked ankle and my stress level.  This is the kind of rest that is therapeutic and healing.  The kind of rest where you get answers in your dreams.  See the moon sending sweet dreams and light through the window?  I love that kind of rest.

My something to think about is Judgment.  This meditative rest is going to be the perfect opportunity for me to think about creating beauty and effecting real change in my life.  This card is full of water, which makes sense alchemically, as mercury is associated with water, and Mercury is a great thinker in general.

My something to love is the Page of Cups, clarified by the Four of Cups.  I am to love my love, haha.  I have the time today for this contemplative rest and focused, but easy, dreaming.  I am very grateful for that and intend to make good use of it!





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin, and the spread is courtesy of Tarot Dame.

Daily Draw - Judgment

Today I am working with the Nigel Jackson Tarot, which has also been published as the Medieval Enchantment Tarot.  This copy has been beautifully trimmed by a forum friend.

I do not find "Judgment" to be the best name for the card, as to most of us to be be judged is extremely negative.  I prefer to think of it as "Awakening" or "Rebirth".

I drew Judgment today, which I think is a fitting card for my (triumphant) return to tarot.  The angel blows his horn in a blaze of glory, searing away everything that no longer serves, and awakening the figures to a whole new way of life.

I have had a bit of a dark night of the soul kinda thing going on, and to be welcomed back like this feels like a giant, warm hug from Spirit,  encouraging me to forge ahead and to be welcome.  Awake, and be free of it, the card seems to be crying out.

I am going to be happy, no matter what that takes, and anyone who doesn't want my happiness can just go the opposite way of this angel, and take plenty of ice water with them.  I am going to live my life differently, in a way that is pleasing to me, and I am done with just "getting by."  That is no way to live at all.  I am going to love who I love and do what is most fulfilling to me. 

In a very tarot twist, my shadow card is Death today, which of course only makes sense.  I believe the shadow card, the one at the bottom of the deck, is the information we do not want to see, so we place it as far from ourselves as we can.

If Judgment is the celebration of the freedom of letting the old go, when it is past its' time, Death is the hard work of doing so.  Death is the crying in the corner, curled into the fetal position, it-hurts-so-bad-I'd-almost-rather-die-than-give-this-thing-up work of getting to the freedom and enlightenment promised by Judgment.  Death is dry old bones rattling around, and Judgment is jubilant celebration of life.

As much as I try to make a brave face of it, though, change is hard for me, as it is for most of it, but change is the one thing most likely to cause my anxiety to flare.  But I am not a coward, right?  And I want the good things promised with the new day, so if walking through the valley of the shadow of death (not literally, of course) is the coin then I will gladly pay it.






These images are from the Nigel Jackson Tarot, by Llewellyn publishing.

Daily Draw - Judgment

DUN-DUN-DUN!

Just kidding. That's my flair for the dramatic popping up there.

So , I look at this card today, and I see the people seem to be welcoming, cringing, and begging the judging angel for something, alternately. As to me, I have been all of those people at some point or another. Today, I feel like I am begging my boss for the hours I was promised, the ones that work with my kids' schedule, not against it. I hate feeling like I have to beg.

Knowing what I know about Judgment, and how on the fence I have been about whether to stay at this job, or look for something better, or more suited to my particular talents and needs, I think it is time for me to make a decision and stand by it. If I am going to leave, I need to do so now, so I can stop being miserable and nervous all the time. If I am going to stay, I need to make peace with that and figure out how to not be miserably nervous there. I chose this job out of a handful of possibilities, and I have had a hand in making the situation what it is, possibly by being too anxious to please so I just say "yes" when I should say "no". I can make choices every day, every single moment, about my attitude and how I will react to things. That is where true liberation lies.

I think Judgment can be a tricky card. The tarot books that are all sunshine and puppies would have you think that it is always positive, but the very word "judgment" personally gives me a chill. I much dislike having to live under it, and it is one of my character flaws that I most desire to banish.

In other tarot news, today I received The Faeries Oracle, which I thought was just gonna be fluff, but initial readings appear to be something more. I generally do better with cards that I can look at and interpret the meaning, but these are much more intuitive type reading cards, so I am looking forward to working with them and seeing if I can't stretch the old intuition out some.

One card in particular just kept jumping out at me and demanding to be looked at. Sylvanius- the book describes him as Truth. Cutting Through Deception. Clarity. I could definitely use some clarity right now, but that pesky Judgment card up there reminds me that the choice about seeking it is always in my own hands, and there is a consequence whether we consciously make that choice or just let it default.




Images from the Deviant Moon by Patrick Valenza and The Faeries Oracle by Brian Froud.