I was idling shuffling, which I do pretty much all the time my hands are not actively engaged with some other activity, and I decided to flip a card over. The Page of Swords is the card that always represents my oldest son, so I decided to shuffle some more and flip again. The Nine of Swords. Worry so bad it makes you stay up at night. Shuffle shuffle flip... The Queen of Pentacles. That is usually me in my readings. I didn't ask any question, so the cards reflected my most intense emotion at the moment- worry for the kid. The young man is facing the Nine of Swords, all nine of which are pointing at me. He knows he is causing me a lot of heartache and trauma. At the moment, it hurts me more than it does him. I wish for his whole life I could bear the brunt of his hurt, too, so I am not even mad about it. But his life is his to lead, and mine is mine, and the older a child gets the less a parent can, or should, take on for them. A good parent will work themselves out of a job, and one of my hardest struggles right now is knowing when to let go, and when to hold on tight.
So then I asked, "What is he feeling, then?"
The Fool, Six of Cups, Five of Cups
He is turning away from what he sees as childish things, ready to follow his own path, and very possibly going to fall right onto that ravine. He is sad about it, though, and looks back on the childhood days with nostalgia and a little regret.
There is nothing I would take to go back in time and relive my teenage years. Poor guy.
These images come from the Prairie Tarot by Robin Ator, available here.
I am not a visual artist. The creators of the decks I use are. I try very hard to give proper credit to the artist when I use an image.
My most oft used deck on this blog is the Deviant Moon Tarot, created by Patrick Valenza and published by U.S. Games Systems, Incorporated. Check out his site to buy some fantastic Deviant Moon stuff, or a deck of your own!
A lovely, but digital only, Rider Waite Smith clone deck is the Aquatic by Andreas Schroter. You are allowed to downlaod and use the images.
They also make me tell you that readings are for entertainment purposes only. I'll tell you on my own that if you change your life based on a few cards something is not right there.
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“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” ~Ashley Smith~
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi~
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” ~Marianne Williamson~
“Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.” ~Kahlil Gibran~
"First you jump off the cliff and you build wings on the way down." ~Ray Bradbury~
“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” ~C.S. Lewis~
"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." ~Rainer Maria Rilke~