Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Daily Draw- King of Wands, Nine of Pentacles, Four of Cups

Dark Fairytale Tarot- King of Wands, Nine of Pentacles, Four of Cups
(Adult themes, images safe for work, if any tarot images are safe for your work, and sexually oriented language.  That is your fair warning.)

Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?  That is what these cards remind me of.  A brief synopsis, is that a charming, older dom (that would be our King of Wands up there) takes over the mind and body of a younger, more naive woman (the Nine of Pentacles) and awakens her to the pleasures of being a submissive (Four of Cups).  The young women are laying there prone and vulnerable, and it is not too far a stretch to imagine them sliding a hand down to pleasure herself, and like the main female character of those books, they seem to only come alive at their masters' will.

It may be obvious, but I do not like the books.  I have nothing against erotica, actually I happen to love it and have made a fair bit of coin peddling it, and I would be lying to say they did not get my heart pumping a little faster in places, though it was a cheap thrill, one without any meat to it, nor heart behind it, but I dislike them for the same reason I do not love most erotic tarot decks- to my taste, they do not go quite far enough.  Maybe that is not even the books' fault, because they are proving popular.  I just suspect that anything that is sold in Target stores is not going to be quite, er, strong enough for my tastes.  They are kind of like S&M Disney-fied (I expect a cease and desist letter from Disney any moment for using their hallowed name in vain) and sanitized, and the dom/sub relationship can be described in as many ways as there are doms and subs and every shade in between, but "sanitized" is probably not high on the list.

I think  my issue stems from the same reason I am not a fangirl of the Twilight series.  The stories were okay, and written well enough, though I will forever bear a grudge for the entire generations of kids who now think sparkling vampires are the norm, and that they have now become objects of lust instead of fearsome creatures of the night, but that is another blog.  My biggest issues with the Twilight series, and with the Fifty Shades series, is that the women who are the main characters have no substance on their own.  They exist as ciphers, something for the men in the books to project all their fantasies upon, and something for the women who read the books to project themselves upon.  I am all down for partaking in a good fantasy (or, on particularly wonderful days, a very, very bad one) but these books teach young girls, in the case of Twilight, and women, hopefully, in the case of Fifty Shades, that you are nothing without a man, that you are a blank doll waiting for him to breathe the breath of life into you.  Your life is without value without him, and you can't function without him.  This is particularly dangerous in the case of Twilight, marketed to young girls, and I do not believe the author of the Fifty Shades has experienced the full spectrum of the nuance in that type of relationship.  My personal experience, reinforced by a string of readings I have recently done for various clients, has me believing that most "submissives" have way more power in the relationship than it may appear from the outside looking in (see this adults-only post for more details) and none of that power is expressed in Fifty Shades.

Dark Fairytale Tarot- Three of Cups
The moral of this story, what the cards are saying to me, is don't be a cipher in your own life.  Own your power, sexually and otherwise.  You are a beautiful, exotic, unbearably desirable creature all on your own.  The proper expression of the King of Wands will make you feel that, but the highest expression of your own Nine of Pentacles will provide that, even without that King to light your fire.  The danger of becoming a love object, enticing though it may be, is you become dependent on the other person to provide that love and desire for you, when you should be continuously cultivating it within yourself.  If you do so, you are never far away from passions' flames, and when you own that, no one and nothing can ever take it away from you.  That is unbelievably sexy.  To rely on some other person to bring out your inner goddess is to surrender your power, and thusly take the easy way out, as seen in the languid Four of Cups.  Don't be lazy.  This is your one precious life.  Live it.

The Shadow Card is the Three of Cups.  It is delicious to me, and I imagine these women are from the cards above, and the crone is teaching them to break the spells they have been put under.  The three women symbolize all women in their various guises, maiden, mother, and crone.  The sacred contract you hold with yourself is more important than any you will make with another person, and breaking it will affect you on every level.  Holding true to yourself, celebrating your own unique beauty and voice, will make you a better friend, lover, mother, sister, everything.  You can't love anyone more than you love yourself, so if you really want to love others and be a blessing in this world you must learn to love yourself first.  Celebrate you, and the rest will fall into place.

If you want to read exciting novels that express S&M energy in a more believable (to me) manner, check out Kushiels Dart by Jacqueline Carey.  There is far more than sex to them, and the submissive main character has a fire to her that refuses to be dampened by any man's opinion of her.

These cards are from Dark Fairytale Tarot by Rafaele De Angelis, published by Lo Scarabeo.


  1. I read the book to see what all of the hype was about.

    Didn't like it at all. For all the reasons you describe, as well as the fact that I thought it was poorly written.
    I couldn't stand Ana Steele. I finished it in record time, just to get her voice out of my head. All the way through,
    I couldn't believe that she was allowing herself to settle for all of that. I didn't think it was erotic, just graphic. I
    had read about how women couldn't put the book down and were attracted to Mr Grey and was shocked. Who would
    want to be with a chauvinistic, sexist and sadistic pig like that? If you're handsome, it's kinky. If you're ugly, you're
    just a perv. I need more than just the physical act to find something arousing. It needs to be about the mind as well as the body. There
    was nothing in that book which I found seductive.

    1. I think you hit it spot on with this- "I didn't think it was erotic, just graphic." There was nothing seductive about it, I agree.

      I think the author missed the mark, because written differently, maybe we would have seen how a dominant/submissive relationship is actually tender and full respect. I did not see any of that. I am a huge proponent that anything done in the name of love, or at least mutual respect, and mutual pleasure, is okay, but I did not see love, respect, or mutual pleasure in these books.

      The brain is the biggest sex organ, and it needs to be stimulated, too.

  2. I can't thank you enough for this post. I'm a new reader, and I think this is only the 2nd time I've visited your blog. But I believe I was meant to read your words today, especially the part about the sacred contracts we make with ourselves. It is a message I sorely needed, so thank you for that.

    1. Thank YOU for stopping by! I am glad you read something you can use. That is part of why I write, to hopefully touch others (but not like Christian Grey). Keep your contract with yourself!

  3. Hi Manda,

    Another excellent post! After reading PLN's take on the books on his blog, I decided to give them a miss, and what you wrote only confirmed that. As you say, I feel anything done with love and/or mutual respect is fine, but without that it's not worth it, and any pleasure is unlikely to last.

    An unusual, but inspiring take on the Three of Cups - break the spell of addiction by learning to truly honour yourself :)

    And I loved Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series!

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