Monday, January 21, 2013

New Year's Reso-What?

Llewellyn Tarot- Two of Swords
How are you doing on those New Year's Resolutions?  I myself have never been a fan of them, because they usually last about a day and a half, you fall off the wagon, and then you feel bad about yourself.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am the kind of person who needs to make changes right there, right then, right when I know they need to be made, and not wait for New Year's Day, or Monday, or the first of the month, or when I get paid so I can purchase supplies.  I have to strike while my mental iron is hot.  I have discovered, for me, waiting for those things are just excuses for me to procrastinate...

Which brings me to the first New Year's Proclamations I made this year, not resolution, because they are not powerful, but PROCLAMATION fairly screams don't mess with me.  I proclaimed that I would work on being less of a procrastinator and more of a go getter.  I am a pretty good go getter as it as, but a notorious procrastinator, so imagine what I could do if I reigned that habit in check?  Amazing possibilities!
Llewellyn Tarot- Ten of Cups

The second, last, and most important PROCLAMATION I made was to remain serene in my heart no matter how others around me may act, what they may do, what words may fall from their lips, because I have a terrible habit of taking on everyone's burdens, making pretty, spiritualized excuses for them, and basically allowing bad behavior because that is what a loving person would do, right?


Tough Love is a true concept, and by continually allowing people to act poorly, treat me badly, and excusing it with, "Well they have a rough life" or "Their childhood sucked" or "They just aren't as self aware as I would wish" I am only allowing them to suckle at my teats (that's graphic, huh?) and delaying their spiritual growth, not to mention stifling my own by rolling around in dirt with them.  That does not mean I am the Judge, Jury and Executioner of people who do not act in the best interests of others, but from a selfish, fearful place- far from from it.  I probably will not say a word to anyone.  But in not saying my words is where my washing of my hands is evident.

Llewellyn Tarot- Tower
I messed up my second PROCLAMATION, remaining serene regardless of others, too.  That was lost pretty quickly, although in my defense the welfare of my kids and a literally crazy person was involved.  But I can't let that affect how I greet today.  No more pretty, spiritualized excuses for myself, either.  I learned, I now believe that this person really is who they have shown me they are, and they will get no more opportunities to mess with my inner peace.  They soak up disturbance like a sponge in water, and they are gonna die of dehydration before they get any more from me.  I have always been the kind that has to learn my lessons the hard way, but once I have learned it is indelible on my soul.

So, how go your New Year's Resolutions?  How is 2013 treating you?  How are you treating 2013?

I chose these cards, not pulled them at random, the Two of Swords to represent my procrastination habit, the Ten of Cups to represent what matters most to me, and my inner peace, and The Tower to represent the disturbance of that peace, which, like most Tower moments, was my own fault by not paying attention to the clues that a Tower moment was imminent.

These cards are from a lovingly trimmed Llewellyn Tarot by Anna-Marie Ferguson, published by Llewellyn.


  1. You know, I just don't do the whole New Year resolutions thing. Even my "intentions" were diverted. But it was a GOOD diversion, with the spirit of the intention still intact (to write more ____). I'd rather be open to what the Universe has to offer me, and take my intentions on a daily or hourly basis. After all, what I need one day may not be what I need the next. And I need to be flexible for that, and in order to be open to life's detours--both the sublime and the challenging--which can affect "intentions". :o)

    Btw, I missed you here! XO

    1. I missed being here! A round of pertussis swept through my house, and I was either in bed, taking care of sickies, or disinfecting everything we own, because this is a nasty thing. We are all fully vaccinated, and we still got it!

      I like your thoughts on intentions rather than resolutions. I think being flexible is important too, and to "resolve" to do something all year long does not necessarily allow for that. I like the thought of being resolved but also able to act on the fly.

      I am looking forward to your new writing projects! Are there any favorite books you have on craft? I am using The Write Brian Workbook by Bonnie Neubauer right now for exercises, and I like to read most books on writing, although that of course, may be another way to procrastinate.

  2. 2013 isn't loving me, and the feeling is mutual.

    I've wanted to do one of those year-long projects, but I have no idea what to do! I envy those who have that focus, creativity/inventiveness. I'm seriously lost.

    1. I keep reading Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I must have read it close to ten times. But I can't do it on the daily. I get to about now in the year and I forget to read for days at a time, then I am playing catch up, and I feel guilty. Why? I am the only one affected by whether I read this or not. Guilt is usually a useless emotion, unless it inspires real change, which will make the guilt stop. But maybe you are not supposed to change right now.

      You know that forum we used to go to (and maybe you still do) and how people were so gung ho for the 78 weeks study. I tried. I couldn't do it. But I do know my cards, regardless. Maybe you don't need a huge project. Maybe you just need a month long one. Or a week. Or not even that.

      I have almost zero focus. I sit down every day to write, and I honestly usually have no idea what I am going to say. One good days, I get good ideas and I can refine them into great work. Others, all I get is crap.

      Mark is trying to learn to paint watercolors. (The Shadowscapes Tarot, even though he doesn't read, inspired him.) Some days he gets brilliant, some days work and tv and sleep win out, and some days it is crap. That is how we all do things, I think.

      I guess I am saying don't be too hard on yourself. If it feels like drudgery it maybe isn't right.