Daily Draw - Ten of Cups, Seven of Swords, Four of Cups, + 3 More For Good Measure

Six card daily draw tells me this is more like a reading than a quick take on my day.  The first three cards came from the top of the deck, and the next three from the bottom.  I often have a little peek at the bottom of the deck, just for some extra insight, some hidden information, on the theory that I have placed what I most don't want to face furthest away from me as possible.

The Ten of Cups is a card I often get in readings, for myself and others, in the wish position, or the dreams, the possibility position.  In a recent relationship reading, it showed as outcome, which is lovely.  It is the happily ever after ending the fairy tales promise us, that so few of us seem to get.  I want this just as much as anyone ever has, and it can be frustrating to have it appear but not manifest.

The Seven of Swords appears again today, after showing up for my Comfort Me reading a couple days ago.  There it spoke of trying new ways, maybe unconventional ways, of thinking about a situation.  The more traditional way of interpreting this card has to do with deceit and dishonesty.

The Four of Cups is boredom, apathy, discontent with what one has.

These cards combine for me to speak of a recent situation that I was part of, wherein my happily ever after dream was crushed, well maybe crushed is too melodramatic a word, let's say postponed,  by dishonesty on both parts, and how that is currently affecting me- loss of interest in trying again, with someone new, lack of trust in people in general.

I am not proud of that.  I would like very much to be open, warm, and receptive to the possibility of love, but it's so painful to have that betrayed.

The next set of cards speaks of that deep anxiety.

The World shows completion, deep satisfaction and contentment, everything is as it should be, as it was meant to be.

The Nine of Swords is mental anguish, torment of the mind.  In particular, for me, this card appears when my anxiety is running especially high and I am having troubles processing it in a healthy way, or at least a non-damaging one.  I continually beat myself up for these romantic failures, for failures of all types, telling myself if I had done this, not done that, lost 20 pounds, or kept such and such to myself, things would have been different.

The Lovers speaks of union, of perfect balance and integration.  It's the two halves that together make a whole, and even more.  It is choices we make, choices that bring us to wholeness and healing, the following of the heart that brings perfect bliss.

These cards combine to speak to me of how I worry about finding that, about being complete, about how I often feel I don't deserve that, and as long as I believe that, it won't be possible for me to find.

I feel I should say here that I do not believe I need a partner to be happy and fulfilled in life.  But I do believe I want one, and there should be no shame in that, but it is often seen as a sign of weakness for a woman to admit she would like to be with someone.

I am also aware that at times I share more of myself here than I strictly need to.  I don't know any other way to be, though, and I promised myself I would not censor, if I was going to write, it was going to be real, come from the heart, no holds barred.





These cards are from the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding for Schiffer Books.