Daily Draw - The Page of Swords

This is from the Anna K tarot (highly recommended, go get one!), and it was another one of my insistent cards. I absolutely despise dealing with court cards. They reliably embarrass me when they come up in a reading, and I was just too tired to deal with this one when I drew it, so I put it back, put the deck away for a while, and came back to it later, while I waited for my pancakes to be delivered at IHOP. By which I mean, I shuffled again and hoped for something "easier". Nope, haha, tarot!

The Page of Swords is my Floppy Hair child. This particular one even resembles him physically, with his beautiful alabaster skin (though I am forbidden to gush over his beauty at his almost 14 year old status) and dark, dark hair in contrast. He is intelligent beyond his years, with a sharp wit to go along with it, but without the maturity to temper either of those things. As a result, he is either raucously funny, or heart stoppingly rude when he is trying to be funny. I trust time will teach him the difference, and while it isn't, I am much enjoying making him write various essays to examine the appropriateness of some of his actions. Sometimes, being a mom is fun!

The child is so smart that he actually works harder to avoid having to work than is he would just do all his school work in a timely manner, and he can argue the black off a judge's robe. We share a birthday, so he is also a Taurus with a Taurus rising and a strong Taurus aspect (slight exaggeration) and he simultaneously is the child that most resembles me in personality and drives me up the freaking wall. His father's favorite admonition to me when he is frustrated with Floppy Hair is, "He is just like you!"

I love my Floppy Hair, to little bitty pieces, and he thrills me and terrifies me all at the same time.





This card is from the Anna K tarot.

Daily Draw - Six of Cups

A crowd of younglings gathers round the makeshift stage. An epic battle between good and evil is played out between the puppets. The children clap their hands and squeal in delight. The smallest one seems taken aback, awed by what he is seeing on stage. Children do not have the ability to always distinguish fantasy from reality, and for that matter, sometimes, neither do adults.

My kidkins are needing me. My BabyDoll has been whiny and out of sorts, and Little Big Man is trying so hard to figure out who he is and where he fits in as Floppy Hair straddles the cusp of boyhood and being a man. They are so disparate in age, and it is difficult to find activities they all enjoy to do together. One thing that still sticks is movies, of almost any genre, although they all love fantasy. I think we will make it a movie night tonight, forgoing dinner for popcorn and candy, piled on the sofa and floor companionably, like a heap of warm puppies. Those are the kinds of good memories I want my moppets to cultivate, and have for when times get rougher for them.

So many times, I wish I could freeze time, keep them from growing so fast, keep their hands small and pudgy, sticky with whatever it is that toddlers leave a trail on any surface they touch. It won't be long before I am only "Mom", mo more Mommies or Mommas coming from their sweet voices.

Well, I've been afraid of changing,
because I built my life around you.
But time makes bolder,
children get older,
and I'm getting older, too...

~Stevie Nicks

I am feeling that today! But all I can do is do the best I can, and that best is raising them to be compassionate, thinking human beings, and hopefully they are walking away with a flood of good memories as well.

Daily Draw - Three of Wands

Bright Easter blessings to everyone!

My card for the day is the Three of Wands, a card which, in one form or another, has been in my dreams over the past few months, and generally making a nuisance of itself.

This card in the Deviant Moon is one of the ones that has made me fall in love with it. In general, I find the Minors in this deck to be more evocative than the Majors, which is so rare in the world of tarot. More often, you find gorgeous Majors and afterthought Minors.

I like the Wands suit in this deck and the nomadic, earthy people that inhabit it. In this image, I see a young, pregnant woman, nourishing her unborn child with sacred, moon-charged energy through the plants. She seems lost in thought, waiting expectantly.

The Three of Wands showed up today to remind me to care for, nourish and comfort my own creativity and projects. Like an expectant mother, I also need to know that it is good and right to feel proud of those things, and blessed to have them in my life.

This is a recurring theme in my life as of late, and I am of the belief that you continue to get the lesson until it has been learned.

Again, Happy Easter!






From Deviant Moon tarot by Patrick Valenza for US Games.

Daily Draw - The Devil

I might never get tired of noticing how impishly divine this card is. Funnily enough, whenever I see it, I think of it as a tiny Devil, not the looming fierce creature in RWS tradition. This one is no less insidious, in my mind, anyway, and in fact, may be more so. Who wouldn't cross the street to get out of the way of the big, bad, hairy hermaphrodite Devil we are all used to seeing? But the smaller, quieter one, well, he could sneak in just about anywhere.

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist," according to the French poet, Charles Pierre Baudelaire.

Tarot claims its' roots in Christian artwork, and so there is no escaping the Devil as seen by Christians of the past 500 years, as the arch enemy of God, as the root of all evil. Modern day tarot tends to scoff at Christian beliefs, claiming that this Devil is one of our own making, one inside of our heads, that we tie ourselves to. I think that tarot, like God, like the Devil, as portrayed by tarot, is both as large and as small as any person needs it to be in a given moment. Today, for me, the Devil appears not to scare me straight with threats of fire and brimstone, but to ask me gently some questions.

What enslaves me? I am possibly the worst procrastinator I know. I will find anything and everything to distract me from what I actually need to be doing. A lot of time, those distractions are worthy things that need to be done, like cleaning the bathroom when I should be writing a paper, or even writing a paper that is not quite due to not have to clean the bathroom. Something in my nature rebels strongly against time restrictions, the have-tos.

How can I set myself free? Like many things tarot-wise, the answer is inside myself. A shift in attitude would go far towards making it feel less like have-to and more like "I choose to use my time productively."

To what extent do my cravings define me? To be honest, if I want something, to eat, to read, some physical object of longing, I either get it, or I save until it is feasible. I do not believe in deprivation without a very good reason. I have been lolling about for the past few days, kind of feeling sorry myself, running my local shop out of Dove Promises (Dark Chocolate-Tiramisu flavor, if you please). The Devils' appearance today suggests that while it was okay to wallow for a bit, get it out of my system, now it is time to put that behind me and pay attention to the places I can actually effect change.

Mary K. Greer sums it with her affirmation for The Devil in Tarot For Yourself, "From darkness and chaos I create opportunities to transcend limitations."




The image is from Deviant Moon tarot by Patrick Valenza for US Games, and the questions from The Absolute Beginners Guide to Tarot by Mark McElroy.

Daily Draw - Strength

This is probably the most unusual Strength card I have ever seen. There is no lion, no ferocious cat, no feminine figure softly subduing him with her gentle touch.

What there is a lonely man, surrounded by horrific items. Bones lay about, even those of a tiny angel. One of the skeletons points accusingly at the man. One angel looks on in compassion, and another sends her healing to him through her hands. A third angel holds back evil spirits, and another simply ignores him. The LWB says this man is trapped in the tower of his mind, forced to face the dark parts of himself.

I can't think of anything we need more Strength for than that. Yet he prays, he moves forward, he looks at these ugly things, these things that he has done, and he acknowledges them, but he does not let them become who he is. He is being healed and protected by his guardian angels.

The LWB relates the figure as Bernard of Clairvaux, a French abbot. He preached the Second Crusade, an action I can well imagine he feels remorse for in this scene. Adoration and communion is what God desires, not killing in His name.

I have made so many mistakes in my life, and sometimes the same one more than once. Am I strong enough to learn from them, heal, and let go? Or am I going to stay in that dark tower of the soul?

To be honest, I prefer the bright, sunshine-y image we see in the Radiant Rider Waite. I can relate to that feminine figure, and I can wish to be like her, exerting her will through compassion and love, emerging victorious. But not all victories look like that, and not all battles are fought outside. Some of the most important ones take place within ourselves. I will remember today to treat myself gently as I face some of my self inflicted demons. We often speak to ourselves in ways we would be horrified to speak to another person, but yelling at our inner selves is about as productive as yelling at a child, and just as damaging. We shrink from ourselves when we start that nasty inner dialogue, but there is nowhere to hide. That mean, cruel voice we sometimes use with ourselves causes us to freeze, to not be able to move forward, for fear of recrimination.

When dealing with tarot for self discovery, I have found that most often the figures on the cards relate to different aspects of self. I feel tender and bruised inside right now, and I want to be treated with love and compassion, but I have to do that for myself first and foremost, be my own angel, so to speak, so that I can have an abundance of those things to share with the people I interact with, in turn.





These images are from the Templar Tarot by Allen Chester, and Radiant Rider Waite for US Games.

Cry Me A River

I've sure enjoyed the rain,

but I'm looking forward to the sun.
You have to feel the pain when you lose the love
you gave someone.
I thought by now the time
would take away these lonely tears;
I hope you're doin' fine all alone
but where do I go from here...

~Dixie Chicks

It's terribly difficult for any of us to just give in, to surrender, to the pain of loss. If you watch folks in the rain, they will work so hard to not get drenched, whereas if they just gave in, let themselves get wet, they would not have to fight against nature.

One of the things we do not often consider is that the pain we feel when we lose something is in equal measure to the pleasure it used to give us.

C.S. Lewis summed it up beautifully -

"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal."

Well, pardon me, but I think the deal sucks, and probably so do most of you.

Nonetheless, we have to go on, right? When I see the Three of Swords, I think to myself, and this is someone elses' quote, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

Well, count me out. Remember when we were young teenagers? And our arms and legs and all of our joints would ache? Those are called growing pains, but unfortunately, no growth occurs without pain. It would be good for us to remember that when the Three of Swords strikes, piercing us through the heart and making us feel that sometimes it is just too difficult to go on, to love, to risk, to want, and to possibly feel this immense, aching loss. You gotta feel it, it's gonna hurt, but all that hurt does not have to define ones' life.

Jim Morrison was rather blunt as he addressed this topic -

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”


I will leave you with these thoughts from the Lovers Oracle, with artwork from Sulamith Wulfing.

"Love has no limits and has no regret," writes the brave author.

I am challenging all of us to live as if those words were true. Not every love ends with the Ten of Cups, but does that make them less valid, less worthwhile?

We can't help hurting sometimes, but we can help how long we stay in that place of tears. I, for one, am definitely looking forward to the sun, even if I had to feel the pain to lose the love I gave someone. It's hard to leave little pieces of ourselves behind in the hearts of others.








These images are from Deviant Moon tarot and Lovers Oracle, artwork by Sulamith Wulfing.

Meh

Meh.

That's just how I feel lately. Not so good. Nothing is particularly wrong, but nothing is particularly right, either. This richly dressed woman stands on her balcony, chin resting on the heel of her hand. She either flings or simply lets fall a cup full of expensive wine from her perch.

I wonder why she doesn't leave, climb on down, get out, and go do something. There is a ship sailing away in the background. She could get on it, and go somewhere new, somewhere exciting, somewhere not here. It looks like a Viking ship of old, full of fierce warriors and adventurers.

Fours are about stability, a solid foundation. However, cups are water, and water needs to flow. Otherwise it becomes stagnant, swampy, a breeding place for mosquitoes and disease.

Maybe today I will climb on down and go out in the world and see what there is to see!

I'll be around to read blogs shortly.




This card is from the Deviant Moon by Patrick Valenza for US Games.