Monday, October 8, 2012

Why Is She Contacting My Ex?

First, a little housekeeping- I am going to do my level best to get posts up all week, because I like to use decks before I review them, get a couple book reviews up, because I've read some great ones, and the reviews for the last couple decks I have used.  Next week I am undergoing another surgery but I am done letting my back rule the roost around here.

This is going to be a bit of a personal blog, but I am done with living my life in compartments.  I am all of me.  What I am wondering today is, "Why is my husband's baby mama contacting my kids dad?"

Witches Trot by Ellen Dugan- Page of Wands, Five of Swords, The Hermit

She has been messaging him on Facebook, and he believes trying to call, which is making him uncomfortable, because while we decided not to stay together, we have remained a solid parenting team, on good terms.  The answer lies in these three cards, The Page of Wands, Five of Swords, and The Hermit.  The Page and The Hermit flank the Five of Swords, so I know they are both focused on that card, and with its' middle position it carries extra weight in the reading.  This Page is a bright and happy portrayal, perhaps overly so.  Pages are inquisitive, and often represent news or information.  Often, for me, the Page of Wands presents himself in my readings as one of my 13 year old sons, one of which I share with her.  I believe that based on information she has (probably grilled him for, but that is personal, not from the cards, although that Five of Swords is a sneaky one at times) from him, she feels compelled to seek out information from someone that is not me, although I have been forthcoming whenever she asks me questions.  I firmly believe, and have irrefutable proof, that she is not always as honest with my husband and me as I am with her, and so she probably expects other people to have the same standards for themselves she has for herself.  I believe this Page also represents her presenting herself as a friendly, likable person who my ex should ally with.

This Five of Swords is a gentler representation than we might usually see, although it is rife with fairies, and while they often take a positive interest in human affairs, the are fickle, and just as likely to meddle in them.  I have never encountered a fairy, that I know of, but if I did I would hope I would be wise enough not to trust one.  I think she would like to be seen as harmless, innocent, and just reaching out to someone, but in reality she is grasping for information she has no right to, and the joke is really on her, because there is nothing to hide.  Fives are wretchedly unstable, and often represent strife, while Swords have to do with communications.  She would like to gain something that does not rightfully belong to her, and she is trying to do so with words.

The Hermit is the only Major Arcana in this reading but he is turned inward towards the Five of Swords, so he is concerned with the action happening there.  She feels very alone, and that no one is on her side.  She would like to sway my ex to her side.  She does not realize that the way we feel is not always an accurate representation of what actually is, and that is sad.  There is no reason for her to be alone.  She is a single parent, but my husband and I stand ready to help in any way.  I have been a single mom and I have incredible compassion for that situation.  Unfortunately, accepting, or even asking for that help would bring about a loss of control she cannot face.  She has screamed at me in the past that she is a single parent, they are her kids only, and all she wants from my husband is our money.  She wants to be alone, because that is the only way she can order her world exactly as she wants it.

Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan- The Moon
The Shadow card, a piece of hidden information at the bottom of the deck, something I may not want to face is The Moon.  I need to come to grips with the fact that I can't make her be honest by being honest myself.  She is conducting herself in numerous shady ways, and I keep giving her the benefit of the doubt because I love the kids so much I can't imagine hating anyone enough to hurt the kids just to see the hated person in an uncomfortable situation, so I can't wrap my mind around the reasoning of some of the things that happen.  The Moon can often represent deceit, and anxiety, and it is time for me to face she probably is being duplicitous, as much as I want to trust her and have a good, working relationship.  Her dishonesty and maneuvering probably comes from anxiety, because the current court proceedings will change all of our lives forever, hopefully for the better for everyone, even her, but I can't force her to look at all sides.  I also don't have time to allow myself to be anxious about whatever she may do, because I have no control over her.  I have to trust anyone she may contact to do the right thing, and I have to trust that since I live my life on the up and up there is nothing to worry about.  I live my life in such a way I would be proud to have most anything I do be public knowledge, and I am raising excellent kids.

I'm not unbiased in this reading.  It concerns my kids, so I am invested with everything I have.  It concerns my family, so I can't afford the luxury of cool distance.  I do believe I am reading the cards in an accurate way, and when I read for myself I check myself by making sure I would be saying the same to a client.  Neither am I perfect, but one thing I have learned is my kids' happiness and well being trumps any negative feelings I may have towards their other parent.

More to come, unfortunately....

These cards are from the Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan and Mark Evans, published by Lo Scarabeo.


  1. I've never been able to understand people who use their kids as weapons in a family battle :( Sorry you're having to deal with this!

    1. I can't understand it either, and I am not able to give full details of what is going on, but it is one of the saddest things I have ever seen. Thanks for your support!

  2. Best wishes on the surgery.
    I'm looking forward to all the direction you are taking your blog. If it's cards it is good :)

    1. Thank you for your well wishes, Sharyn! It will definitely be cards :)

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