Friday, November 30, 2012

King of Swords, King of Swords- What Are You Trying to Tell Me?

Mystic Dreamer Tarot- King of Swords
The King of Swords has, for the third time this week, led off my Daily Draw, and I am fully aware that has some pretty powerful significance.  I came to some conclusions in my Daily Draw, which will publish later today, but before the information I discuss in that post was available, I had come to a different conclusion, which is equally viable and I intend to share here, too.

The King is a powerful man, uniquely intelligent, and almost aloof seeming in his cool calculation of any situation.  As a person, he can often signify a lawyer, a judge, a doctor... A surgeon!

I see my surgeon today, as a person who had two surgeries in three months' time, and still not experiencing the promised relief.  I remain in a great deal of pain, and that is not right.  However, I have a great fear that I won't be believed, and some of that is rooted in not finding my own voice, my problem, and a little bit in the fact that my surgeon's assistant basically told me my continuing pain was all in my head, just before my last MRI which revealed the disc had reherniated.  After that, I did find my voice enough to request that I only see my surgeon, who is kind and compassionate, who told me, "I believe you" the last time I saw him, and at the cost of these treatments, I deserve whatever I want.  Really, at the cost of just my health, I (and you) deserve whatever I want and need.
Xultun Tarot- Lord of Swords (King)

I can be a bit dense at times, and I have also pulled the King of Swords on the 78 Whispers Facebook Page a couple times this week.  Those cards are not necessarily meant for me, but are just a place to discuss cards and their varied imagery.  However, since I shuffle and pull a bit of my energy can't help but come out in them.  I can thank this image, from the Xultun Tarot by Peter Balin, for the keyword for the King of Swords, "Surgeon", sitting there all pretty for me on the pamphlet included with the deck.  Of course it makes perfect sense, the most mature aspect of the Court of Swords, wielding a sharp object, and I have heard that reference before, but since it never had personal significance to me it never took root.  Now I have a new association to use, and a humbling to put to work as well.  I had to see this card several times, in several aspects, in order to gain that keyword, because I had never looked beyond my own nose.

I need to be strong and impartial.  The moon in the King of Swords from the Mystic Dreamer Tarot shows that my surgeon is compassionate and empathetic to my needs, but I know from experience that I need to remain cool and collected.  It's just terrifying to imagine living the rest of my life in this kind of pain, terrifying to imagine yet another surgery, and most terrifying of all is the thought of having to prove I am not well.

Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle- Loyalty
A big chunk of my issues with telling him precisely what is going on is that I don't want to insult his work, which sounds so silly when I type it, but I have an innate need to please older gentlemen, a holdover from my childhood, and there is a childish aspect of myself that doesn't want to make him mad at me by telling him his work didn't do what it was supposed to do.  I can see both the shadow and light aspects of this in the card from Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle I pulled to expound upon the King of Swords- Loyalty.  I want to be loyal and good, and I need to embrace that King of Swords impartiality, because there is no cause or need for me to feel loyalty to my surgeon.  Gratitude, rapport, yes, but loyalty- no.

However, there is reassurance in this card.  I owe no fealty to my surgeon, but he does to me, or to solving my problem at least, and I believe him to be a kind man who is in this line of work because he truly desires to help people and end their pain.

The words from the companion book offer advice in this situation, as well, "You have chosen this symbol of Loyalty, and this means you are being called to stand up for who and what you believe in." I believe in myself, and I believe that while I am better, I am nowhere near full health, and I need to be clear about that, with no fear.  And that is why this card has been following me around all week.  (There is another aspect you will reading my Daily Draw later on, too.)

These cards are from Mystic Dreamer Tarot by Heidi Darras and Barbara Moore, published by Llewellyn, Xultun Tarot by Peter Balin, published by Arcana Publishing CO, and Wisdom of the House of Night Oracle by P.C. Cast and Colette Baron-Reid, published by Potter Style.

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