Tea Leaf Tuesday - Week One

Ahh, bummer.

The wish I did not know I wished will not be granted.  Actually, I have many wishes, so one will have to be let go of this week.  This will obviously lead to sorrow.  The Hammock is already set in stone as I leave for Niagra on Thursday.  Even though I will be sad I will still be strong enough to keep going and see that there are more and better things out there for me.

Next Tuesday we shall see how accurate this was and do another reading.  Stay tuned...





These cards are from the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn.

Full Moon Spread - March 2010

Tonight, I am using the Full Moon Spread described in this post.

Relationships - What you need to know about developing your potential in relationship to others. The truth of your relationships, be they lover/coworker/family/friend.  Ace of Cups - What I see is a mother, with her child still in the womb.  As physically uncomfortable as that may be, that is the easy part of being a parent.  Now that they are out in the world you can't just put 'em back, even though that would at times be preferable.  Separation starts from the moment of birth, and while a good parent works themselves out of a job by raising children that can be independent from them, it can definitely feel like having your heart walk around outside your body to watch a child leave.  This card reminds me who are the most important people in my life and how I can love them better.

The Power of Choice- What decision needs to be made now to fully express your potential? What will free your creativity?  The Hanged Man- I am going to stay here for as long as I need to, and for as long as I decide to.  I am not being ordered to enjoy this time of suspension, but I have to go through it.  My choice, my control, comes in deciding how long it is going to take me to get this lesson so I can move on.  This is the third time I have received the Hanged Man in personal readings in four days, which is significant.  Surrender is hard for me, but learning to when I need to is an important lesson.  When I can just give in to the flow, to God, instead of insisting that I know best, I know what is right, then I will be free.  As contradictory as that sounds.

Manifesting Goals- What action do you need to take on the physical plan to reinforce your magical (or tarot) workings?  What can you do in the mundane world to support your spirit's desire?  Three of Cups - A repeat of an earlier card, my Lesson card for the day, in fact.  Earlier, I saw it as myself, standing in a pool of grace, with more and more being poured out over me.  Now I see it as me, releasing the energies I have built up around me, so that I can act as a conduit to the ideas and thoughts that come to me.  Holding them inside because I am afraid I will never get more is not the answer.  Letting it all flow, free and easy as gurgling mountain stream, is the answer, or part of it at least.

Creativity- The Mother has given you talents, abilities and gifts.  What must you do to fully express them?  If you don't like this card, it is because the card shows blocks that you need to address before you can realize your full creative gifts.  Three of Pentacles - I find the title of this card, Integrated Work, particularly apt.  I think there are times when I want to skate by, because I am talented and do have a gift for what I do.  That, however, is not enough.  The gift is not honed by sitting on the sofa watching endless reruns of Bad Girls Club.  The work has to be done.  Julia Cameron says we are responsible for the quantity of our creative work, while letting God be responsible for the quality.  I can't expect to write a heartbreaking work of staggering genius if I am not writing anything at all, now can I?

Protection- Shows you where to establish personal boundaries so you do not give your personal power away.  What do you need to protect? The Magician- Somewhere along the way, I got the idea that I have chosen to be a writer, and a tarot reader, as a profession, because I am basically lazy.  Now, anyone who does either of those two things on any level will see that as a ridiculous idea, and I would never accuse any other writer of being lazy.  In some ways, I need to protect myself from me, from those niggling little worries that grow into big ones, and to acknowledge that I have the right to be who I truly am.  I need to see my creative time as sacred, as important as breakfast or breathing.

Psychic Gifts- How can you best develop your intuition?  If position 6 is a Court Card, it suggests the appearance of a teacher, guide or mentor.  The Green Man (Emperor) - I do better with cards that portray this card as such, less menacing father authoritarian figure and more kind but firm father.  And I do associate this card with "father", which probably explains a lot of my disconnect with it.  I never knew mine, and although I did not think I felt a lack of it as a child, since I had a grandfather who loved me beyond all reason, I am not sure that one can trust a masculine God figure when one has never had a warm and trusting relationship with a father.  This card is saying two things to me, the first of which is that God loves me and that what I hear from my intuition is His gift to me, my birthright.  Trust is an essential piece of the pie, though, and I have to learn how to do it.  The second thing I feel coming from this card is that those sparks of intuition will become more and more frequent as I reconnect to nature.  The beauty of the world that God has made is such a vital piece of who I am, and living in a large city it can be so easy to shut oneself off from it.  Especially when there is a Bad Girls Club marathon.

Blessings and Spiritual Direction- The Mother wants you to celebrate the joy of being alive.  What do you have to be thankful for? How can you best express the Goddess in you?  Two of Cups- It's not many, not by some peoples' standards, but there are people who truly, truly love me, who I truly love right back.  This is an amazing blessing, and unlike writing, this is a case where quality trumps quantity.

The shadow card, the hidden knowledge of this spread, is the High Priestess.  She likes to remind me that I know what I know, and that I do not have to bring it all into the open for all the world to see, but I had better acknowledge it.  She allows me to keep my little secrets, and offers warm protection, but she demands absolute honesty from me, and that can be a scary thing, to be stripped of pretensions.

I notice that all my cards are in the low end of the number scale, even the Hanged Man, reducing to a 3 (12= 1+2), so that tells me that on this full moon I am at the beginning of something pretty exciting.  I was not especially thinking I would be getting a reading that cut so close and minced no words like this one has, but I am grateful for it.  I also think this was a wonderful deck for this reading, and I am so pleased with the way the cards read for me tonight.  Like Terry Brooks said, "Sometimes the magic works."





These cards are from the Tarot of Transformation by Willow Arlenea and Jasmin Lee Cori.

Daily Draw - King of Cups

This week I am working with The Tarot of Transformation by Willow Arlenea and Jasmin Lee Cori.  It is such a beautifully colored deck, and it is slightly non traditional.

I am crazy about the title of this card.  Master of Cups would correlate to the King of Cups in a traditional tarot deck, and how beautiful is the idea of "Abiding In Love"?  This lovely figure seems to me to be wholly in this world, grounded in her crystal cavern, but not of it.

This card would traditionally be portrayed as a male figure, but how sweet is the female pictured?  For her to show as my Issue card for the day, I feel she is demonstrating a lack in my life at this moment.

I am reminded of a quote by Eric Fromm - "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."

If I could abide in love, as the card urges, all the days of my life, many of my problems could be eliminated.

My Lesson card for the day is the Three of Cups, again a gorgeous rendition of the card.  The angel is pouring grace out, and there is no end in sight.  There will be no Oliver Twist, "Please sir, I want some more." moments here.  There is plenty of love and abundance to go around.  By accepting that, and learning to walk in faith, I can more fully live in love and joy.





These cards are from The Tarot of Transformation by Willow Arleana.

Majors Monday - The Emperor

I am going to try a little experiment for the week, by drawing a Major Arcana on Monday as a sort of predictor for what will be upon me for the week.

The Emperor is related to fiery Aries, the Ram, and what a good choice of card to express all that fire energy.  Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and the sun happens to currently be in his sign.

I generally have many issues with this card, and that can be related to my father issues growing up (lack of one) and my trust issues with a masculine God figure (we're working on them).

For me to see this card today reminds me that I need to be a leader myself in my own home, but to tread the line carefully so as not to become a dictator.  It reminds me to be energetic and dynamic, but not to bowl people over with my enthusiasm.  It reminds me to own my own power, but to remember that every time we assert one of our "rights" we are likely stepping on the rights of someone else.





This Emperor comes from the Tarot of the Sidhe by Emily Carding, available from Adam McLean in a limited edition.

Daily Draw - Four of Wands, Justice

Here, again, is the Four of Wands.  What a happy, sweet looking home!  These two cards today as a reading are actually quite comforting to me, as I feel everything is working out exactly the way it is supposed to be.

I see this card as a peaceful, happy home, fragrant with the presence of Spirit, and the deep love the occupants have for each other, and to have it as my Issue card today shows me how deep my longing for that is.  We are getting there, though, and it is such a treasure that I feel there are no lengths to extreme to go to or time too long to wait for it.

The Justice card as my Lesson today reminds me to be fair in all my dealings with others.

"If you want peace, work for justice."  Pope Paul VI chides us.

I definitely want peace, so doing the right thing as a means to get there sits perfectly well with me.





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Queen of Swords (Blows Her Top)

How can I be most successful at work today?  The Queen of Swords has shown up to show me.

I generally see her as someone who is imminently logical, and as a Queen, she is a user of logic.  I see Kings as embodiment of the trait, and the Queen as manifestation.  That told me it would be a good idea to remain calm and cool and logical throughout the day.

I am a bit at odds within myself at times, and I think my astrology can explain that somewhat.  My sun sign is Taurus, slow and plodding, associated with the King of Pentacles and the Hierophant, and while slow to anger, is pretty righteous to behold when it finally blows up.  My rising sign is Libra, who is associated with the Queen of Swords, and Justice.  It is terribly important to me that everything be fair, and balanced, which of course cannot always happen.  These are not excuses for me when I fall short, but just insights to me as to where I can look to improve.

Having said all that, let me just now say that I did not embody the cool qualities of this Queen when it mattered most today.  I let someone, who may have deserved it, but I am not the magistrate, judge, jury or hangman to decide, have the sharpest side of my tongue, and I do not feel good about it.  Tensions were already riding high, and by letting the shadow of this Queen take over today, I did not help the situation.

Well, there is always next time.





This queen is from the Hezicos tarot by Mary Griffin.

Daily Draw - Ten of Cups

My issue card of the day is the Ten of Cups, which would hopefully never be an issue at all, but sometimes is.  It is a picture of a happy family, in this deck, dog included and all.  This is a good example of a card being poorly aspected, when sometimes a "happy" card is not so much, and an "difficult" card could be not so difficult after all.  I do not read reversals for this reason, because I believe every card has a range of meaning that it is the readers' job to glean from the spread, card position, surrounding cards, and good ol' intuition.

So, for me, this card speaks of the internal dramas of my family we are having at this moment.  Floppy Hair is being an absolute pill, being nearly 15 and taller than me he feels he is an adult and ready to make adult decisions but all his actions fairly scream otherwise.

Brother and I are not getting along fantastically.

The Ex probably wants to move the kidlettes to a school district closer to him, which would put a distinct crimp in our current lifestyle.  We all live in the same city, but it is a sprawling monster of a city, and while the thought of driving them across town makes me want to weep, I imagine it has been frustrating for him too this past year.  (Look how evolved I am becoming, able to take his feelings into perspective.  *smile*)

My lesson card is the Seven of Cups.  So many times, this card is described as too much daydreaming, too many choices, too much to think about.  In this image, my eye was first drawn to the house, and the dragon, and the hearts, in that order.  To me, that is significant because I am worried about my home and the harmony of it, and the dragon is creeping around sowing little, and big, seeds of discord.  The hearts though are full and we still love each other despite it all.

What I feel this card means is that there is a creative solution to all our problems, or solutions, even.  I just have to find it.  By daydreaming, possibly, which is not always about lazing around.  Thinking outside the box is what is going to help me to come to some good answers.





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Daily Draw - The Hanged Man (Again)

Nope, nothing to see here, just your blogger still learning this lesson, apparently.





These cards that want to be sure their point is made are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Daily Draw - Nine of Swords

Here is my ugly anxiety.  Are you tired of hearing about it yet?  Because I sure am tired of living with it.

This card is one that often shows up when I am grappling with worries that I know are not real, I do, and I get so frustrated with myself because I know that I am wasting precious energy on things I can't change, nor is it even really my place to, at times, and then I am sapped of energy to be effective where I actually could make a difference.  Then I am emotionally drained and weak and vulnerable.

It's an ugly cycle.

What is the source of my anxiety today?  The Fool.  Fear of the unknown, and having to walk so close to the edge of that cliff.  Some Fools are sure they can fly, but I am not necessarily one of those.  I am not very comfortable with not knowing where I am going or how I am getting there.  One of the ways I deal with my anxiety is to make every day as close to the same as I can.  I like to putter around my house and just be at home, and the Fool in tarot is not at home, and he is not doing the same thing day after day.  That is both exhilarating and terrifying for me to imagine.

I am on the cusp of something, the edge of a cliff, if you will, and although I know it will be good for me in the long run, in the short term I am having a hard time managing the details, and I hate that feeling.

How can I address this problem?  Nine of Cups.  To me, this card means taking care of myself.  It's okay for me to control the things I can, if it helps me to let go of what I can't.  I get comfort from routine, from stacking the cups just so, and then admiring them.  I also do better when I can cook, and write, and read, and meditate, and get my yoga in.  All of those things take time away from my moppets, and I often feel guilty for them, but there should be no shame in taking those pieces of time for myself.






These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Daily Draw - The Hanged Man

The Hanged Man.  This is another card that to me signifies waiting around, and not necessarily enjoying the wait.  Lots of deck creators and tarot authors try to put a more positive spin on this card, calling it a divine sacrifice, or making the choice to retreat into oneself for quiet contemplation.  That does not entirely jive with me, because while that might all be true, I would still never willingly put myself into this position.

Of course, that may be why I seem to have so many Tower moments.

So, the Hanged Man is here today to tell me that I have to "hang out" a little longer, take things as they are in this moment, and know that it's not forever.  I am a Taurus, but I have a fire grand trine, and patience is NOT my strong suit.

This message is reinforced by the Wheel of Fortune showing up as the Lesson card.  Things never stay the same, and just because I am here now, kinda stuck in an uncomfortable position at best, painful even at times, does not mean I am going to stay there.

These cards are in juxtaposition, the Hanged Man lacking in color and any element at all, simply being the person in stasis.  The Wheel is colorful, and bright, and all the elements are represented, showing definite movement and probably for them better.







These  cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Daily Draw - The Tower

Crap.  One day I am going to learn to stop messing around with these cards.  It's all fun and games until you draw The Tower, right?

So, this week, in addition to working with the Hezicos Tarot for the first time, I have decided to pull my cards at night and label them "Issue" and "Lesson".

Still, no one likes to see The Tower.  Hmm, let's see,, how can I relate this to my day?  It has been fairly quiet around here, it's snowing now, and I mostly stayed home and rested (not lazily, the cards told me to!)

One of the things I thought about in my rest was how to change my life, and one of the things I am thinking about doing would be a complete shake up kind of situation.  I hate change.  Especially this kind of shake up.  I know it is necessary at times, and that it clears the air for real growth and change, but it does not have to be fun while it happens.

The Lesson - Six of Swords.  This is another card that I see as moving from one place to another, but not necessarily happily.  So, my issue of the day is dealing with the change that has to happen, even though it is so drastic, but knowing I can take comfort in the idea that I am moving towards safety.





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Something to Do, Something to Think About, Something to Love

This spread came from Tarot Dame, who writes a great blog that you probably already know if you are reading mine.  *grin*

I was thinking how to best spend my time today, and I mixed up the positions, and mine were Something to Do - Four of Swords, Something to Think About - Judgment, and Something to Love - Page of Cups, which is clarified by the Four of Cups for me today.

My something to do is to rest, which is needed with my borked ankle and my stress level.  This is the kind of rest that is therapeutic and healing.  The kind of rest where you get answers in your dreams.  See the moon sending sweet dreams and light through the window?  I love that kind of rest.

My something to think about is Judgment.  This meditative rest is going to be the perfect opportunity for me to think about creating beauty and effecting real change in my life.  This card is full of water, which makes sense alchemically, as mercury is associated with water, and Mercury is a great thinker in general.

My something to love is the Page of Cups, clarified by the Four of Cups.  I am to love my love, haha.  I have the time today for this contemplative rest and focused, but easy, dreaming.  I am very grateful for that and intend to make good use of it!





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin, and the spread is courtesy of Tarot Dame.

Daily Draw - Five of Rods

These are my children.  And me.  And Brother.

Our house is not so harmonious at the moment.

We are supposed to be a family, and we are a family, but things are really topsy turvy at the moment.  Floppy Hair is a teenager, and as such it is his job to destroy the world.  Little Big Man is the middle child, and all that entails, and NicNoodle has possibly a smidge too much princess energy and not enough goose girl energy.  Brother is a grown man but seems to be easily enticed into the kids' little (and big) dramas and sometimes it seems like four kids, not three.

There is me, in the middle, trying to break it up, but becoming part of the melee instead.


Not a pretty picture.  Wanna come over for dinner tonight?

I often tell my kids to treat each other kindly, and tattling is the biggest on my list of no-nos.  They are not likely to get any more siblings, and ultimately, I would prefer they were a close-knit group than knowing who ate the last Ding Dong.

The lesson - as I look at the Eight of Swords, first I notice that she is so frazzled her hair is sticking out on end.  Yep, that is me some days.

The sky around her seems to be that dark just before a storm, tempestuous and raging.

I usually think of this card as refusing to budge, to see what is really there, but this time, maybe it is more of a choosing to not move, fully knowing that a storm is raging.  In this situation, that is me taking myself out of the conflict that is happening in the Five of Rods, and deliberately not seeing, letting them work their own things out for once.  The ground in this card, storm or no, is much more fertile and able to support life than in the previous card, and doing so may very well lead to more solutions making themselves apparent.

One thing I do know is, what I am doing is not working, so taking some time out to re-evaluate could certainly do no harm.





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Hello, Hezicos Tarot!

I was at a loss as to which deck to choose for the week, because they all seemed to be clamoring for my attention.  I have ended up with the Hezicos Tarot in my hand, so I asked - 

What will come of me working with you?  Ace of Rods (Wands).  Well, one could hardly ask for a more promising card, but is it just me or does that little dude not look so enthused?

No matter, I am a bull in a china shop, and I will use this deck, because it is so beautiful for spring, and it is lovely to feel and hold, and the creator, Mary Griffin, has been a real doll to let me use her images and in all my dealings with her.

This card is just beginning to bud.  There is a lot of fresh, new energy, and using this deck for the first time will bring some of that to my reading.  This is also the second Monday in a row that I have been given the Ace of Wands.  It fits, because I do have the idea that diets, and exercise regimens, and new habits, all begin on Monday!

What do I need to know about this deck?  The Chariot.

When I was a young girl, I was horse crazy in the way that young girls can be.  I read about them, dreamed about them, went to sleep with the warm scent of hay and horse in my nostrils, and woke up with an eagerness to muck out stalls that I would never be able to duplicate today.

What I am saying is, I love horses.

What I need to know about this deck is that it is a very strong deck, wild and beautiful, and that it can help move me from one place to another through working with it, so I am very glad for a bit of that energy in my life right now.





These cards are from the Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin.

Daily Draw - Princess of Swords

I am not the world's biggest fan of this particular rendition of this card, let me start by saying that.  I do not eat meat, and while I see the reasons to, it still disturbs me to see an animal killed, so I figure that if I can't face where it comes from, I do not need to have it.  She is described as Diana, goddess of the hunt, who only takes what is freely offered and only what she needs.  Still, I am bothered, and I am not going to lie about that.

Generally, when the Page of Swords shows up, who this card corresponds to, that is my Floppy Hair, nearly 15 and taller than me, all sharp words, but still needing hugs.  I don't think it is him, today, though.  The card corresponds to Full Moon in Taurus, which the artist also attributes to Death in her Majors only Blue Moon Tarot. 

Pages are trying to make sense of their world, and Swords to me are about intellect, and learning, thoughts and ideas becoming real.  I am about to undertake what I find a massive project that will include many hours of study and hopefully much gain of knowledge.  I believe any other Page of swords would be pointing to the rightness of that, but I am having trouble reconciling this image with that idea.

The clarifying card is the Hermit, which makes perfect sense to me.  This project is going to demand lots of time, time spent alone, in contemplation as well as study.  I hope to retreat into my Hermit's world, and emerge ready to be a beacon to others, if that will be of help to them.

I will likely be back later, when I have reconciled this Princess with what I think I know.  *smile*

These cards are from the Maat Tarot by Julia Cuccia-Watts.

Daily Draw - Four of Wands (Again)

I drew this card again this morning, and I thought to myself wistfully, "I wish."  I looked out at the frozen streets and the snow still falling, and shuddered.

Now, just a few hours later, I am back here, foot all laid up, as I slipped on ice behind my work and sprained my ankle.

I shoulda stayed home.






This card is from the Maat Tarot by Julia Cuccia-Watts.